I feel the most misunderstood when.... [finish this sentence]
wen people just tell be shut up and dont even try 2 understand.
I try to talk to people about how I feel and they give me advice that implies that by controlling outside events, by acting a certain way, my feelings will change. I am not sure why I feel this need to talk about my feelings, when experience shows the conversation will leave me feeling even more isolated. The need to express seems like yet another futile behavior. I feel even more stupid when i tell people I'm stupid and they say no you are not.
@blueMoon7677 I understand how you feel when you say you don't know why you tell people how you feel when it only leaves you feeli more isolated and stupid for feeling your feelings. I do this too. I just did it with my mom. Told her I found out my ex was in the country even though he told me he didn't know if he'd have the money or time to see me this summer and that he was too busy for me to come to him. But he is here with his new girl a couple of states away from me...at her brother's wedding where she rsvped her plus one as her ex that she just broke up with a month ago after my ex and her started dating and in the house she kicked that guy out of...and my mom just told me to get over it and leave it alone. Said I should be over him now and then kept reading her book...I knew she was going to say that. I don't know why I even mentioned it to her. But I did. And then her reaction made me more sad than the proof that I didn't need of his lack of caring about me and
@warmheartedHuman2014
i know what you mean about the people around you reacting in ways that you expect.
I am so sorry about you being treated badly by your ex. You know I don't know many people who get along well with their ex still ... Me included
I think the reason my marriage has lasted thirty years was because I tried to think about how I disappointed women and how they disappointed me. That gave me enough common ground to grow a relationship.
We can't pick our relatives can we? You are right that the fights I have with my relatives last longer than the ones I have with my wife. After being married this long I would RUN if an ex tried to contact me. I believe that people can change, and I believe in forgiveness so I can let go, but I don't believe that you can bring a dead horse back to life.
Many of the ideas I see on here make me think I can improve, but First I am looking to make the people around me happier, second I am looking to make new friends, and then third I am looking to mitigate the harm I've done in the past.
I wish you the best. Be assured that your message portrays someone who deserves the best.
@blueMoon7677 thank you. i'm trying. i was way too understanding of what he did for like a month and then i let my anger get the best of me and did say so mean things to him. i'm not proud of it. i've apologised but i know he is the type of person to hold a grude i don't expect him to give me a proper apology or respond to mine. he is prideful and stubborn. just like my previous ex. he and i had refriended each other on facebook a couple of months ago after a year and some months. we even seemed to be messaging each other nicely for the months that followed and when he hadn't heard from me in a while, he asked how i was doing. he seemed concerned about what i was going through with this other guy. i hadn't spoken to him in a week and a half and I went to see how he was doing and saw he unfriended me on facebook. I didn't say anything to him. I've learned from both of these situations that I have to stop dating immature men if I want to get married with my next serious relationship. I allow myself to stoop to their level of immaturity when sh*t hits the fan and I dont' like myself when I do that.
I would like to have what you have one day. Someone to work together with at being better people and growing the relationship together. 30 years is beautiful. I want to make people happy. but first, i have to make myself happy and i then have to set adn keep firm boundaries. I want to be understanding of why people do and say things, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with mistreatment and disrespect.
I'm sure i will never be able to be friends with the two of them like we were before because the lies have caused the trust to be broken. you are right. you can't bring a horse back from the dead. and both of these guys live in different countries so you definetly can't ressurect something by email and skype... it's saddens me and i mourn for what we had, but i have to accept it and move on. i do deserve someone who is mature enough to work through their personal stuff and come to the relationship self aware and someone who is forgiving and understanding like me. someone who can be honest with themselves first so that they can be honest with me. I hope he is out there...
When I'm not listen too.
I feel most misunderstood when I am internally conflicted and there is a requirement to explain this conflict.
I'm being self destructive.
People don't understand it's not always a choice doing things to yourself that will hurt you.
I go through drunk text messages.
When people pretend like my normal, human reactions are invalid, too sensitive or too much.
When people do the same thing to me every time which I hate but when misunderstanding clears I'm the one whose hated.
When am ignored by my family.... At that time get the feeling of being misunderstood.....
I feel most misunderstood tbh when people say they understand me. I know that sounds stupid and u may not understand it but no one goes through the exact same problem and it makes me feel misunderstood
@ameliaglazner without presuming know exactly how you feel, I can relate to the issue. I think it is stereotyped plots on TV shows and films where 2-dimensional characters always admit to have the same repressed feelings (for a cozy ending) that makes people believe everyone fits the same stereotypes on the inside. I think at some point you have to claim the right to feel the way you feel and tell others not to make arrogant presumptions about your state of mind.
