If you received a behavior report, would you like the reasons to be shared with the community or would you prefer to maintain privacy? Discuss.
A community discussion question -
If you received a behavior report, would you like all of the specific reasons to be shared with the community or would you prefer to maintain privacy? Discuss.
Perhaps more chances to adequate train and test one's listening skills before taking active chats could be something that could be employed to help avoid potentially disincentivizing consequences after bad behaviour has already occurred. Basically, creating a filter for the people who really want to be listeners and want to train to get better at it to pass through to carry on with taking listening conversations and prevent the less-serious, trollish, or just plain innappropriate listeners from being able to have access to talk with members until they've shown they really have an understanding of the rules, the skills, etc. through a proper demonstration of those listening skills.
As an example of what I mean by a "less-than-serious" listener, I've had at least one chat where the listener wasn't interested in playing the supportive role of a listener and instead wanted people to come to them to chat because they were bored or lonely.
I don't know, just brainstorming ideas.
Doing this could prevent the bad behaviour from occurring in the first place and having a negative impact on members. Much like email verification can help reduce the amount of spam from bots. Preventative measures.
@Laura That was never the point of any of this. That is unfair rethoric. Try again.
one more thing: did you all follow #metoo?
Which was about breaking bullies silenceculture -
@Laura I would prefer it to be private as people could feel embarrassed/ashamed, etc, as most people here has said (with only admins knowing - or the limit to the ambassadors knowing);
But I think that when a behavior is identified, it could be made public in a rough manner except the person will not be identified. This can ensure members and listeners to know what they may have done (roughly). There are always grey areas in rules, and by using these examples, we can identify the issues and be able to prevent ourselves from being in the same situation.
One thing my therapist tells me is that you can't control what happened to other people, you can only control your own actions. I think it is important to know that my behavior report would be only seen by myself and admin. The next step is that I have to trust that admin takes care of other people's behavior the same way. And I do trust that they do that. Admin and leadership works hard to make sure the rules are fair and that the community is safe.
I got suspended one time and even tho I thought it was unfair, after I was done raging...I seriously tried to grow from the experience. I read a memoir by my favorite soccer player Cari Lloyd. This memoir helped me think about my own situation. Carli Lloyd got cut from the USA woman's team because she had coaches who were unfair to her but she also realized that some of what they said was true. She also had coaches tell her that her attitude made her uncoachable. I realized that my attitude was making me uncoachable. So then like Carli, I decided to accept the feedback and grow from it. I still don't think other people should know about my personal behavior report. Some behavior violations are obvious and some are more about perspective. like maybe one person misread about your intentions and misunderstood you sometimes that can lead to a behavior point. No matter what the report is, I think you can still always grow from it.
Idk if this applies to teens or not but this is just my two cents. Sometimes we get really passionate about 7cups and we forget that everyone is just a volunteer trying to do their best. I think it's important to not forget about that part.
Sorry for the sports analogies but it's how my brain works. So like in baseball, a batter takes 3 strikes and is out but if you don't get another chance to face the pitcher again, how can you grow?
I think it's best if everyone focuses on their own behavior reports and the things they can control like your own actions and behaviors. Just like Carli Lloyd had to learn how to be coachable. She managed to get back on the USA women's team and even win a world cup
@Laura
People grow. There's no reason to label someone with a mistake they not only made in the past, but were made to face and use as improvement in the past that is no longer a hinderance but a step in their journey. People gossip enough when people poof as is, no need to fuel the flame.
Just my two cents.
No, content of reports should remain private. but I would like how if my listeners are left on their own or got banned, and if there is a return date planned. by example.
did they deactivate on their own for self care? if yes, did they plan a return or is it permanent?
if no, are they banned for 2 weeks? 6 months? permanently?
It would really calm down my anxiety and my fear to being banned when I see many listeners being deactivated in few time. Maybe people could choose to put this exact information public or private (but still NOT for the content of reports, those would making some people uncomfortable)
When many of my listeners leave my list i am always scared that they all got banned and that my turn is next- even if i did nothing wrong - and even if often, they just have deactivated themselves for self care break.
many people here may have anxiety and some distrust toward those in position of authority and this kind of situation is just making it worse.
@TortueDesBois turtle dove, is no reason to be scared. link
you will know if you are breaking the rules, if you've read them. xP <3
@bunnypants Things sometimes are done to accounts though, even with following the rules :(
Not all bans and mutes are warranted.
Although this isn't exactly the question being asked here, it's think it is relevent.
If I received a behavior report: I would like the person who reported me to at least recieve a personal acknowledgement of the complaint being received, and read, was being taken seriously, and told the complaint will be looked into and dealt with according to the site guidelines. Something of that nature. As it currently is, members can make a complaint after a chat in the feedback, and hear nothing back.
If they (or indead everyone) should be told about each complaint, or insident of misconduct, is a much more complicated question; but surely at least the person who makes a complain about listener misconduct shouldn't be left wondering if anyone actually read their complain or cared about it. Especially since we're often dealing with people with mental health issues, I feel the least we could do is to not just leave them to assume either that someone read it and took it seriously, and that something is being done about it, or indeed to assume the opposite. I feel that the absence of any acknowledgement is more likely to leave a person feeling they aren't being taken seriously, or are being ignored, after disclosing something that may have been distressing to them.
Would it be possible to have a system set up, so that every complaint is acknowledged? And further, could they be told it will be looked into, and any misconduct will dealt with according to the site guidelines / rules (maybe even with a general link to how these situations are usually dealt with)? I feel that would be a major improvement and lead to an increase of trust.
@roseMelody95
We actually did used to have a system on the listener side for listener reports where each listener was told when their complaint was received. We discontinued this after feedback, but of course nothing is ever set in stone, so thank you for sharing your interest in that.
You mentioned member reviews - This is something that comes up a lot and I suspect it's because it isn't widely communicated. We have an entire team of listeners that all they do is flag the member reviews. If a report mentions lack of empathy or professionalism, for example, the team flags it and the listener gets a coaching email and an invitation to meet with a quality mentor. If too many bad flags accrue (I don't know the exact metric), the account gets rejected and they are not allowed back unless they meet with a quality mentor. As for why the member doesn't get told when their review is looked at - I imagine it is due to sheer time. But since the flagging is done through the site I wonder if it would be possible to send members a notification that just lets them know their review has been flagged by a person on the review flag team. Tagging @EvelyneRose to see if that is something that is possible/feasible/helpful.
I really appreciate your message because I think it addresses this question in a more realistic way than the 2 proposed options of "everything revealed" or "nothing revealed"
Dear @Laura, thank you for taking your time to address the issue! I just wanna start by saying that I'm not sure what exactly happened that lead to this, but I'm aware it's something that everyone is taking very seriously about.
Personally I think it's unnecessary to revealed the behaviour reports to those who are not involved. I think the main point of behaviour reports are opportunities for us to learn and grow as a listener, and having them to be made publicly available for others to discuss doesn't really help much with the matter, since we're not the involving parties and it might create a lot of unnecessary rumours and false claims, as you have pointed out. The thing is, the only person or people who know what exactly happened are those who are involved with the matter, and they will most definitely tell their experiences from their side of the story, and it's often tend to be bias.
And I agree that it's also unnecessary to have some sort of a trial system on 7 Cups. Trial system are meant to punish those who have done wrong and reward those who have been hurt, and I dont think this is the culture we want on 7 Cups, because the important thing is for listeners to learn and grow from the experience, not deciding who is wrong or right…
Personally I think the admins are doing the best they can with situations like these. I think maybe if its possible that the E-mails or reports can be handled in a more timely matter? Perhaps people are frustrated because they feel like the responses are a bit slow, which might give the impression that they are not being heard, or that somehow they are being delayed? I also agree with sending out E-mails to those who have made the report that their reports are being reviewed, I have received them before and was told that my report is being reviewed but now I dont and I'm not sure why, and it does make it feel like if my reports are being heard.
Thanks again! Just thought I give my 2 cents!!
@terrytee
In order for there to be more transparency I will explain what I think lead to this ,is that an amazing listener here got banned and people are feeling a bit lost ,angry,hurt,anxious amongst other feelings. Anxious that if this could happen to this amazing listener who gave so much of her time here and was such an inspiration for so many that really all listeners are vulnerable to having a bad day or making a mistake or be a victim of a false report and getting banned.
I personally think a persons length of service and commitment,dedication here should also be taken into consideration too when the decision comes to appropiate reprimands.
Likewise for a member there show of previous good character if they are a longterm member should be be taken into consideration and an indepth investigation of the incident should take place to see if there are any grounds for compassionate considerations.
I don't agree with a lot of the points. Why should experienced listeners or leaders be given special treatment or immunity just because they have more friends here? If anything they should be treated more severely if they break the rules because they are leaders and they should know better.
There are many previous cases of us members getting harassed by experienced listeners, it's already hard fighting them because they have more influence.
I think if you break the rule you get treated the same regardless of status. If admins ban someone wrongly then admins need a system for them to state their case. Other people's input don't help and cause more harm. So my question is, do they get the chance to state their case to admin?
You nailed it.
Agreed! I think the rules should apply to everyone equally.
I'm with this on some things. Other things though, due to changes I think it's hard to revert back.
7cups used to allow multiple accounts. There used to be much more access to guests. So if there was a forum topic encouraging me to share information about myself, I might have felt more comfortable doing so in the past, knowing that I could have always used another account to not link those things together, or even a guest account in the group chats.
Due to the changes, I think someone who has 2 accounts from before would be different than someone who just made up another acount of the same type since that rule came into place - especially if the old accounts weren't used to cause trouble but just privacy concerns.
There are other examples too - like offsite contact. 7cups actually had some in person meetings. I would think it would be fairly natural to keep in contact after the fact. It would like to be odd to cut all ties outside of 7cups after meeting face to face. Plus there are other things like social soldiers. I'm still confused about how those types of things play in. I've seen people with some fairly major roles here interacting on other internet sites. Some of the rules aren't so black and white.
Others are, I would not expect a long term listener to ask a member for a phone number or to start sexting with them. The past history of the site has nothing to do with creating a grey area there.
