One difficult emotion I have been experiencing recently is.....

Failure....

Like I will never succeed, I am not good enough to achieve my goals, I simply cannot make it in life doing as I desire (rodeo). Im not good enough to train my horses and run them and win enough to live. I ruin everything I touch and then some. It plagued me day and night lately....

Rejection

its silly really. No one outwardly rejects me but its like no one is truly interested in me.

Failure. Like my life is heading towards being over and Ive done nothing with life Ive been given, I have no qualifications, I never travelled and I have a dead end job. Im adventurous and I feel like Ive ended up in the place I never wanted to be, I wanted to be free and roaming but instead ended up in a dead end job, in an unhappy marriage with a child.

Loneliness

i feel nothing.

People leaving me and hurting me. I struggle really had with rejection, that could be in relationship, job or in general. Usually a strong person but these things i find hard emotionally

probably guilt and disappointment... i feel that i've put my life in such a waste and i have no idea how to "get back on track" and live my life again...

Grief and loss .

Fear. My last relationship was 10 years long and his behaviour changed at the end. I'm with someone new and a year in I'm seeing the same behaviour. I want people to stop leaving :(

People leaving. I know that my severe depression drives friends and my partners (the latest having just left me several days ago after almost 3 years together), but with each person who leaves my fear of abandonment grows stronger and sometimes I wonder if it's even worth trusting anyone now when they say they won't leave me.