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Stop The Gossip - 4 Ways to Combat Gossip (and Triangulation) at 7 Cups!

User Profile: Laura
Laura September 7th, 2017

Hello My friends!

I want you all to take a moment to consider the type of community you want to spend time in. What are the characteristics of that community? Some characteristics that come to mind for me are: kind, friendly, open minded, honest, non judgemental, diverse and serves a variety of needs.

In any big city or community, there are many people with differing needs and many projects happening simultaneously. The community is an organism that is strengthened by adherence to community guidelines, trust and mutual respect. We look out for one another, keep an eye on the city streets (in our case: forums, room, feed, pms) and we help out when there is trouble. We all are responsible for keeping the 7 Cups community safe. This cannot be done by the community management team alone, we all need to work together.

In any large community, news and information travels fast. It is an invisible river that runs through the entire 7 Cups ecosystem. Knowing this, we must also acknowledge our role in it. There are two types of information that run through this river:

------> Helpful information - learning, links to threads with more information on a particular topic, peer support, getting to know others and supporting one another

------> Unhelpful information - information about specific people or groups, information about leaders, language that is competitive, language that attempts to isolate others or push them down

Unfortunately, in a large community like ours, it is impossible to keep all of #2 out. However, in discussing it openly, we can proactively prevent and minimize it. But its up to all of us (not just the community management admin). We each need to take a stand against the spread of unhelpful and hurtful information.

I wanted to take the opportunity to remind you that we must all be part of the solution, not the problem. We must all be part of strengthening the connections in our community, not weakening them. If you see something, you must say something. And here are four ways we will ask you to do that:

1) Gossip Canned Response - Easily Accesible For You!

If you believe someone is sharing gossip with you, we will ask you to stop this individual by saying the following: Hi XX, I know you may mean well, but I do not feel feel comfortable hearing this information. I encourage you to stop sharing this information with other members of our community as it could be hurtful. I would like to change our conversation topic right now. Thank you!

A note with this language will be added to the top of every 1-1 chat in the resource drop down section (see screen grab below). If you have any reason to believe someone is sharing gossip with you, stop them in their tracks. Be part of the solution. You can learn more about how to determine if something is gossip or not in a thread @iara made here.

2) Gossip Dump Form! If you become aware of a juicy piece of gossip and you are bursting at the seems to tell someone (we have all been there)â¦. My advice - Just dont. Instead, you can anonymously dump your gossip in the form . Nothing you say in this form will be considered a formal report and honestly, we likely will not read the contents. This is simply meant to be a safe way to release your gossip. Dont tell a human, this form

3) Gossip & Community Guidelines: As you know, gossip is listed as a violation of our community guidelines. You can be reported and receive behavior points for gossiping. If someone is gossiping, you may report them using the block reports, written text reviews or filing a report through the Helpdesk. If you see something (especially a consistent behavior), say something.

4) Stop Triangulation! Triangulation is very similar to gossip but instead of happening between 2 people, it is between 3 or more. It involves sharing information and avoiding conflict resolution. Take some time to educate yourself on triangulation by reading this post.

Lastly, part of this solution is self-reflection. Take a look at your own behavior to ensure you are not sharing gossip and acting in the best interest of yourself and our community. We are all responsible for our own actions. Remember why you are part of this community, do some self-evaluation if needed and adjust your guidelines accordingly.

I thank you all for your attention to this important matter! Onward!

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User Profile: blossombreathe
blossombreathe September 8th, 2017

@Laura

Thank you for sharing this, Laura. I think we all needed to be reminded of this, as gossip is very hurtful and it can ruin someone's day, which is not what 7 Cups is about! heart

User Profile: SpunkyMonkey100
SpunkyMonkey100 September 8th, 2017

@ Laura gossip dump is awesome! ^-^

User Profile: Hatake510
Hatake510 September 8th, 2017

Gossip is something that always annoys me. From family to friends it seems to be everywhere. 7 cups is a community where people talk about things that matter and where gossip is minimum. I'm glad to see that everyone here understand that gossips sucks. I'm glad to see everyone is working to minimize gossip to the least. Thanks 7 cups. I'm happy to be here.

GD

User Profile: rebel11
rebel11 September 8th, 2017

@Laura

This happens daily to an individual on 7 Cups, 7 Cups created this situation because Admin failed to act.

User Profile: OrangeWarrior
OrangeWarrior September 9th, 2017

What a great post! It's very instructive and helpful. Thanks for sharing it with the 7Cups community!

User Profile: Jessiw4011
Jessiw4011 September 9th, 2017

THANK. YOU SO MUCH FOR ALLOWING ME TO JOIN YOUR GROUP. IM NEW TOO 7 CUPS YOUR FANTASTIC IN EVERYWAY. I DEAL DAILY WITH GOSSIP FROM MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND TO MY PATENT'S. PLEASE HELP ME COPE N SHOW ME TECH WAYS I CAN FIX THIS OR MOVE AHEAD FROM IT.

User Profile: SmileyPower
SmileyPower September 10th, 2017

@Laura

Thank you for the post! Really helpful!

User Profile: astray
astray September 10th, 2017

Thanks

User Profile: innerripples
innerripples September 10th, 2017

@Laura Gossip dump is a really nice activity :P

User Profile: Maddz4Christ
Maddz4Christ September 11th, 2017

These forms are all really helpful! They also give my mind something healthy to focus on.

@Laura