I had a panic attack and almost grabbed a knife.
my husband and father have serious life-threatening illnesses, and I feel helpless watching them suffer.
@dogandbutterfly sorry to hear,that's sad. but keep the hopes high.
I am a newlywed. My husband has been asking me to be entirely honest with him regarding my feelings/emotional state during my most recent bipolar depressive episode.
It's extremely hard for me to be vulnerable due to abuse and/or failure to be protected in difficult situations my entire life. I've learned to keep it to myself for my own security and sense of emotional safety.
I wrote him a letter detailing 10 things that he should know/learn about/try to understand regarding my personal battle with bipolar. I used 'I' statements. I made it clear these were my struggles and gave ideas of how he could help me cope. He proceeded to berate me, belittle me, and tell me what a horrible person I am for making him feel deficient and inadequate.
Fast forward 48 hours and he has apologized and realized that I was genuinely not blaming him at all for MY bipolar episode. He reread my letter and he feels terrible for misunderstanding it the first time.
I'm having a really hard time moving forward/letting it go. And I don't know what to even say to him. I am in the middle of a pretty bad depressive episode and communicating is hard for me - verbally - right now. I am so tired and I know he is hurting too, but I can't comfort him.
I made myself vulnerable and he obliterated me.
@RedefiningAlice
That makes me really angry. Treating you like that is not okay. Under any circumstance. Period. ESPECIALLY not when dealing a with such a highly sensitive subject.
@karosorakaros I agree, his behavior was inexcusable. It was also terrifying because he has never talked to me like that before.
After a few days, when I was feeling better, we were able to have several long conversations about what happened. We've made a lot of progress already in starting the conversation about my mental illnesses, but we have a long way to go.
Today I'm feeling vulnerable because I feel sick due to birthcontrol pills, have less energy and can't take care of myself they way I want, but the man isn't careful and he doesn't share, doesn't help me to care this damage.
I feel both vulnerable and stupid like I didn't protect myself enough. And it's so sad - do I really have to fight and protect myself against man I love?..
I spent some time last night with an old friend who bullied me and I worry that he judged me and I feel embarrassed
@patientDime3940 I'm so sorry it happened to you :(((
... I can't do anything but stay on my chair in front of my computer. Literally.
@TheHusky literal as in an injury? Or do you just feel like you cant get away from the computer for non-physical reasons?
Today I'm feeling vulnerable because I see all this love and all this joy and all this happiness around me, I look at it and I know, I just know I'll never have that. I feel betrayed by it and I feel that I deserve not having any of it. It's scary and it's lonely and I'm almost at the end of my rope.
@zoeleene I really really feel this. Yesterday I completely lost hope in ever having a healthy relationship.
@zoeleene Yea I feel your pain.
@zoeleene
I see this all the time, its relatable
@zoeleene
I know what you mean ... I am in love with someone who has no idea I exist, lives on the other side of the world and I have no contact with him ... And dont think I will be able to love anyone else...
Today I feel vulnerable because I am uncertain about my future. I don't know what I want to do and I'm being pressured into making decisions that I truly don't feel ready for. I don't know if I'll ever really be sure about what I want to do in life.
@JackieTracks I do feel this about making decisions. For us feeling this way, making the right decisions is very hard that sometimes we don't want to decide at all. But as the quote says, "Indecision is still a decision." So we still have fight and get through this one day at a time. Hope this helps.
I feel vulnerable because I'm afraid that I'm selfish and self absorbed because of my lonliness. And that I'm alone because I'm selfish and self absorbed and I'm afraid that I'm in a cycle. And the only way out would be to be in a community of people so that's what I'm doing here
...because I am trying to face my trauma but have years of , don't tell, to break though and I am terrified
...because my best friend just died and I can not get the look of him laying dead out of my heart and mind
...because i was assaulted a month ago or a little over
...because I have a victim mentality and don't know how to stop that
...because I have had my heart torn open so many times back to back that I don't know how to put it back together
...because I feel like I am basically all on my own facing all of this....
and despite it all, I am still fighting.
that...
is F-ing vulnerablility.
@blissedNblessed keep fighting! You have been through so much and it's going to be a hard fight but you can make it. A couple of suggestions- have you heard of EMDR therapy? And have you thought about going to a grief group?
@SpiritBear123
Thanks for responding :)
I have heard of it - i am trying energy healing instead - seems to resonate more with me :)
I am trying to keep fighting....its a hard battle to fight alone though...
and i know i am not totally alone....
just feels like it most of my life.