When I see that people, even looking happy and being successful couldn
It feels as if no matter how many times I tell my husband what I need from him, he forgets. After years of the same thing, its hard to make an effort for him because I feel as if its not reciprocated.
Because when Christmas comes near I just can't help but think of every single loved-one I've lost.
I wonder, wherever they are, if they still think about me too. And if they don't hate me.
@JayTheBird14 I'm so glad you wrote this. I suddenly don't feel alone. Although, I know one person for sure seemed to hate me the last time we spoke years ago. That hurts.
@SpiritualDreamer92
It sure makes things easier, don't it, when you don't feel alone??
I'm sorry that you're going through the same, and I promise I'll be here for you 
@JayTheBird14 Thank you so much! Likewise, me for you!
I realize that life is pointless. Ive reached 40 and Im empty. Ive been abused my entire life from my parents, especially my father, my husband who controlled me for 23 years now, God who threatens me with eternal torture if i do this or dont do that. I have no friends, I dont know how but I have nothing but pain to offer anyways. I have kids but Im failing miserably because im sad and dont really want to be on this earth. (No im not goung to commit suicide to those who may think they can save me.)
Its just a series of unfortunate events I guess. I went from having hope at various points in my life because the future was so far off that I had hope life could yurn but it never did. I joined this site as a last ditch effort to reach out but so far the only one that seems to care is Noni the freaking robot. Is that really what my life has come down to? Yes.
@adventurousCoconut5536 hi
@Livingwithfire hi!
I feel you. No offence to Nono but talking to a robot just doesn
@goldenCucumber1287 I know this site is collecting data and they are probably testing how artificial intelligence can help with mental health but honestly its just an insult to the "realness" of our problems. I can talk to google or siri in the same way.
Whoops, I meant Noni! No offence Noni@goldenCucumber1287
@adventurousCoconut5536 hi! I just wanted to respond to your post to tell you that you are not alone. You're strong and I hope you continue to fight through these issues. You're still reaching for help and I think that's all it takes. The universe has a crazy way of doing things, but whatever peace is coming your way, it's on its way.
@adventurousCoconut5536 Aw, I'M glad you're here. It seems weird and like nothing's helping at first here, but I've slowly been finding that it does help to come and share and be part of the 7 Cups community. Apparently I just got my 14-Day badge -- can't believe I've been doing this check in stuff for two weeks. I think more than anything, it's knowing that you're not alone in your struggles. That you can show your broken bits and not fear judgment and instead feel embraced and accepted and sometimes even encouraged.
Wishing you some hope today. :-)
Responsibilities weigh me down
Ive just moved in with a new roommate and Im afraid of exposing my struggles with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Ive lived alone for several years and its been so uncomfortable putting on a happy front but I dont want to scare her or succumb to my mental health struggles. I find myself trying so hard to please and I feel annoyed by that. After all this time and working on stuff, it seems I still just believe that Im too messed up. I still just pine for the days when I could open up and not be so hyper aware of my anxiety.
I know awareness is supposed to lead to change and yet I feel like Im locked in the mode of feeling my discomfort in my head and body and I cant seem to just get myself to a place where I feel at home in my body again. Ive been doing meditation, therapy, etc. for years but I cant seem to escape this sense of dread.
i dont know how I can ever connect with others when I so clearly cant accept myself.
@goldenCucumber1287 you are not your anxiety. If it left you would you cease to exist? No you would be alive. Your anxiety is like a veil. Your awareness is like lifting weights. It takes practice to lift the veil completely. Build strength in awareness. And over time the veil will no longer bother you.
You are however your present state of mind if your will left you then the will to live would leave you. Choose your will at all costs anxiety only wishes it can have all of you dont let it. It wants you to be afraid so do the opposite. Be courageous. Being in light is not the absence of fear but bravery in the face of everything we see can be good and can be bad.
Im feeling vulnerable because someone I thought I knew and really loved died two days ago and I couldnt save him. I want to remember him well but Im also upset that he left. I forgive him for his decision I dont understand why he made it not really. Ive been low too we were low together. But I tried to find the light and he got absorbed in the darkness. Part of me feels I didnt do enough. But I know it wasnt my fault. Its going to take time to heal. Its hard losing someone you love. Especially when they were what pulled you out your own darkness. But Ill be okay Im determined and Im here screaming Im alive and in the present and nothing is going to stop me from being here in the now not until God tells me...Ive done a good job, that Ive done good work, that its time to say good bye.
I don't know if my boyfriend is cheating on me and just using me. I suspect he's lying to me about everything.
I am unable to afford presents for my children, I have a job but it's minimum wage and I honestly am over qualified to work there, but I am humble and thankful for my job.
I feel volnurable because i depressed. Why does that make me feel volnurable? Because i feel sad. Really sad. And i need someone to be there for me, even if i act like i dont want people near me, inside i just want someone to hold me and tell my its going to be alright.
I realized that my anxiety is growing and growing each day. It consumes me from day to night — from the day I wake up until night when I take my rest. I've been judged and mocked, put down because of this illness that has been haunting me for months.
I try to be better but I've reached the point where I don't know how to separate my normal thoughts and the ones that anxiety is feeding me.
