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Is it okay for my dad to take his anger out on me when he's drunk?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 06/23/2020 at 1:57am
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United Kingdom
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Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology


I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust

Top Rated Answers
January 31st, 2015 4:13pm
No, it's never okay for anyone to take their anger out on anyone and being drunk does not make it any more acceptable. Because he is your dad does not make it okay. If anything, a dad has a bigger responsibility to NOT take his anger out on his kids but to find healthier outlets for those feelings. I'm sorry if this is happening with your dad...
January 26th, 2015 5:09am
It's not okay for anyone to take their anger out on another person irrespective of wether they are under the influence of alcohol or not, and I am not sure if this means he is verbally agressive or physical aggressive towards you but neither is appropriate.
April 12th, 2015 6:25pm
Short answer: No. Long answer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo. As a one-off, regretful action, it is unacceptable, but reveals something about the person's coping mechanism. However, such an action, if repeated several times, is considered abuse, even if it does not involve physical lashing out. Trauma, on both an emotional and physical level, can occur. To understand abuse, we must understand abuse as another language/coping mechanism used by someone when there is a situation that they do not like. This does not condone abuse, but it allows us to more easily come to terms with it. What are they most scared of/what have they lost such that they abuse someone else? If you can put aside the anger and fear that almost certainly comes with repeated abuse, I urge you to try to put yourself in their shoes and see what is troubling them. I stress one more time: This does NOT mean that you allow the abuse to continue. It means that you better handle and come to terms with the trauma that comes with it.
March 8th, 2015 8:17pm
It isn't ok for anyone to take their anger out on you whether they are under influence on alcohol or any other drug, whether he is verbally or physically violent and angry, neither is ok and you should let me know, preferably when he is sober about how this is making you feel. If this doesnt work, remove yourself from the situation and then he wont have the opportunity to take his anger out on you.
April 26th, 2015 5:03pm
Hello I am so sorry that you are going through this. The answer to your question is absolutely not. This is never okay. My Dad used to be physically violent towards me when he was drunk to relieve his stress so I understand how difficult and complex your situation is but you must take care of yourself. Eventually, I took a stand and moved out and into the house of a friend. Since then, he has never acted violently towards me.
May 6th, 2015 2:43pm
No it's absolutely not okay. I don't know the level of what happens but if it is to the point where you are even wondering, then you may want to consider calling a hotline that could help you with the situation.
August 2nd, 2016 2:54pm
No, it is never okay for someone to take their anger out on you, drunk or sober. If your dad is hurting you, please tell someone you trust who can help you. Even if he is not physically hurting you, please still talk to a trusted adult like a school counselor or teacher.
March 13th, 2017 8:20pm
No, it is never okay for anyone to take their anger out on any one regardless if they're drunk or not. Taking anger out on people is not healthy and it is not okay.
February 27th, 2018 4:09pm
It is not. It is never okay for someone to lash out on you because they are not sober. Know that it is their non sober, alcoholic self that is not acceptable, so help him seek help if possible, but if it's not, it is best to just avoid it
March 1st, 2018 8:22am
no he should not, its not alright when adults abuse their kids because of drinking
June 23rd, 2020 1:57am
No. Sometimes it's not in his control, but it doesn't make it okay. He can learn other ways to let out his anger but you haven't done anything wrong and don't deserve to experience that. It can be incredibly difficult to do anything about this situation, maybe avoiding him entirely when he's drunk would be safest because that's definitely not okay even though it's not something he's aware of. Make sure to stay safe if there's nothing you can do, and get help if you can. Any form of communication comes with a risk, so please take care of yourself. You deserve only the best
February 17th, 2015 4:42am
No, this is never okay. When your father isn't drunk, try to ask him about quitting or tell him how he makes you feel when he is drunk. If that doesn't work, seek the help of a professional or close relative who can get him the help he needs.
May 2nd, 2015 6:01pm
No. It is never okay for anyone to take their anger out on you for any reason.. I suggest that you find somewhere safe..
June 4th, 2015 1:23pm
No! Never. He shouldn't take his anger out on you physically or verbally if he's drunk. He should be clear-headed and know why he'd be angry with you and not be drunk while scolding you. And he should never be abusive.
June 23rd, 2015 2:01am
No not at all. He should not be getting drunk and hurting you. Its not fair. He's the adult here. He should not be doing that
June 30th, 2015 3:07am
No this is definately not okay. If he does this make him aware of his actions when sober. If it continues removing your self from sittuation if possible is adviseable. Alanon an arm of AA is also great support. Or Alateen if you are a child.
July 13th, 2015 4:24am
Whether someone is intoxicated or not it is never an excuse to take anger out on another person. If it not acceptable when he is sober it is not acceptable when he drunk either.
January 19th, 2016 6:48pm
No you should advise trying to tell your mother about this or get help from a friend or a professional to help you and your father out
January 25th, 2016 10:46pm
No. It is absolutely NOT okay. It is never okay for someone to take their anger out on someone while sober or drunk. It is crucial to find healthy ways to express anger that doesn't hurt anyone. Take care ♡
February 8th, 2016 5:00am
Drunk or not - you can never justify the abuse of defenceless innocent children. Don't let anyone tell you that this kind of treatment is okay. You deserve better
August 5th, 2016 1:58pm
It is not ok, he has things in his past which causes him to become angry. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with any underlying regrets he may have. Let someone you trust know so they can help you.
October 3rd, 2016 4:10pm
No it's not okay. Father or not, nobody should treat you this way. I don't know if you're in the position to talk to him about it when he is sober, but you should try communicating with him how hurtful that is. If that doesn't work, don't be around when he is drunk.