How do you get and accept the help you need without internalizing the stigma of other's understanding of your disability?
Last Updated: 02/22/2016 at 2:48am
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Stigma can often be very very cruel, and people misunderstanding you can hurt a great deal. Sometimes, getting the help we need is linked closely with understanding, and in order to do that, you can always try and open people's eyes to what it is to what you're going through. This is only a suggestion but I find that trying to explain what is happening can lead to more support, more help and feeling better. Accepting help is in no way a weakness, you are so strong and so wonderful.
I think you're already on your way! Just by being aware and holding awareness of other people's ideas/concepts and understanding (and this stigma) is really powerful and kind of the first step! Knowing that people haven't been through what you have, and haven't learned the lessons that you have and therefore maybe can't be expected to understand completely is a great start. And you can also use these times as opportunity to gently offer the person other information that might add layers to their understanding and breakdown the stigma a little bit (or even tentatively question their beliefs). It is upsetting to hear what other people think about your own disability sometimes but there's really bad information out there that people are learning from and getting their information from which really doesn't reflect real life. So maybe you can help to create a more accurate and detailed picture for those you come into contact with.
Everyone needs help in some way and everyone has a certain degree of difficulty communicating the full extent of their needs. Some needs may present themselves as more obvious than others, and that can make people jump to conclusions. You deserve to be treated with respect. Remember you have the right to express your concerns and to assess the effectiveness of the help you're receiving. This can give you a clearer judgment on whether or not to accept help from the same person next time as well as what to expect from them.
Often times getting the accommodations you need comes with the unwanted baggage of how you are perceived receiving these accommodations. I would try to educate others about what the accommodations do and why they are needed, so that they will not see it as strange or awkward, and also to simply act in defiance of people's stereotypes of a person using such accommodations.
It is always best to go to a professional for whatever problem you may think you are having. What they have to say could and should help you make your understanding of things less confusing for you. The things people tell you about certain disabilities may not always be true. It is always the best bet to seek help from someone you know is certified!
I believe it is important to look at a disability in different terms - rather than seeing it as a disadvantage to others, see it as having different abilities. Accepting help to increase the areas where your abilities are lacking is nothing to be ashamed of - in fact it shows that you accept who you are as you are and accept that you need help. We all need help in different areas.
You're not disabled, you can do a lot of stuff and be wonderful. Focus on yourself, their opinions are not important at all.
Accepting help from another person is not a sign of weakness or a stigmatizing event. you are opening yourself up to help which makes you stronger in the end and better able to deal with life's circumstances.
With difficulty is my immediate personal reponse to this! It is so hard that even those who try and put themselves in your can't fully understand and i often feel the need to downplay things - in reality getting to know myself, working on my sense of self worth allows me ask for accept help when needed - for want of a nicer word I recognise now that comments stem from ignorance they simply don't know and how can we take as fact anything anyone without knowledge says? Be true kind and compassionate to yourself and know its okay that everyone needs help in one way or another sometimes.
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