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After you lose your best friend, how do you know when grieving them starts?

100 Answers
Last Updated: 02/03/2021 at 7:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
June 19th, 2020 12:32pm
i've lost a friend to sucide and a friend due to drugs and grieving starts for diffrent people at diffrent times sometimes it may be when you first hear the news that they are no more or sometimes it might be the thought that you won't share the same memories with them as you used to some people start to grieve when they realize that they are gone for example you want to share your feelings to them you pick you cell to reach out them to you and you realize that it won't be possible it never gets easy it just gets easier to live without them diffrent people move on at diffrent times but eventually you learn to live with it all we can do is pray that they are in peace and pray for the strength for his/her loved ones
August 2nd, 2020 9:19pm
Denial is the first sign of grief. If you are denying that your best friend is gone, there is a high chance you have started the grieving process. During the denial, you may feel fearful, in shock, and in confusion. Not everyone grieves in the same way - it's different for everyone. It's okay to show your emotions and take to someone. Some people may also feel anger instead of the denial, and this is completely normal too. Feeling any type of emotion is completely normal and nothing to worry about. Grief is very hard to deal with and everyone deals with it in different ways.
August 12th, 2020 1:11pm
I'm my experience, there's no one way to start or finishing grieving or even know when to start or how to grieve. For each person I've lost in my life the process and timings have been different. We are all unique and the impact of a loss will effect us all differently. Don't feel like you have to grieve, it's not a mandatory requirement and you shouldn't force your yourself into a particular mould. Remember the times you shared with them, celebrate their life and let nature takes it's course some what. If grief doesn't ease naturally then there are avenues you can take to discuss and help you address it.
August 15th, 2020 1:51am
Grieving is not a mandatory process after a person passes. It is a natural reaction to a broken connection. You will see it is similar to when someone is broken up with. Grieving is a processing of an intense sadness. Delays in this process can be a lack of a connection with the person who has passed, or a shock to the fact that it indeed happened. If you are going to grieve, it is going to be when your mind is physically able to process that trauma. It is important not to force this process as it is, again, a reaction and not a mandatory process. People who routinely go through hard situations will not experience grief the same way as those who do not see those experiences for the obvious reason that they have already gone through it, they have a better idea of the process and how to manage. It is important that no matter what you are feeling, that you manage it properly.
September 9th, 2020 1:40am
Losing a best friend stirs up a plentiful of emotions in the beginning. May it be sadness, anger, guilt, nostalgia or something else, you soon reach a denial phase. Sometimes it takes forever to reach the stage of acceptance, but eventually, you come to acknowledge the truth of losing your best friend, something you've never once thought possible when you guys were still best friends. But, through that acceptance, it's when you truly start grieving, because you're able to put aside all these other emotions to solely give a proper goodbye to this once precious friendship and move on to new ones.
September 10th, 2020 10:12pm
Grief is such a personal experience that there is really no way to know exactly when you will start that process. Losing a best friend is absolutely heart-wrenching, and my heart goes out to you if you are going through this. In my life, I have lost so many close friends so I really sympathize with what you're going through. There is no real process for grieving a friend. You might think you've finished one day and then something will happen and it will trigger all those memories and make you feel all the pain again. It's just important for you to take your time dealing with the concept of losing someone who means so much to you and understand that it is natural to feel anything from anger to despair. But just remember, this too shall pass.
September 13th, 2020 8:38pm
I know when grieving starts because I begin to think about all the good times I had with them. I feel a heavy pain and I have no motivation for anything. I begin to feel lost and then I go into a state of disbelief and I don't truly believe that they are gone. Whether that be a loss of a friendship, relationship or the death of such. Then you learn to accept it and then you learn to live on but keep them with you forever. Grieving is hard but everyone goes through it. Its a part of life
October 14th, 2020 3:14pm
When you keep thinking of your memories with them on a loop. And listen to sad music too. It is devastating, and hurts like anything, but, the grief is necessary. And simultaneously cathartic as well. You need to do all that you can to purge it out of your system, step by step. That includes and is not limited to sad music and reminiscing or rehashing old memories, but also actively distracting yourself. Especially physically. Getting into sports, indulging in hobbies, reading positive or favourite books, exercising, and the like. Getting a houseplant also sounds like a good idea.
October 18th, 2020 7:15am
Grieving the loss of your best friend can be hard. The first stage of grief is denial. This when people either think they are fine or they just don’t want to believe their best friend is gone for real. There’s is however no timetable for how long grief should last or how you should field. However, at some points, your painful emotions of that loss are expecting to improve. Remember there’s no proper way to grieve. It’s a process, especially when it’s the loss of someone you were close with for a long time. There’s no magic pills to throw at your emotions. Take good care of yourself, make that best friend proud by carry out her legacy. That’s what a/he would have wanted. I’m so sorry for your loss.
February 3rd, 2021 7:57pm
The grieving process is different for everyone. Everyone experiences grieving in their own way. It may come in feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, or it may take on a unique experience unlike these. There is no wrong way to experience grief, but it may help to give yourself kindness and the permission to feel/not feel and experience/not experience grief in your own way. Understand that you don't have to pick apart or over-analyze your feelings (unless you feel that helps). Likewise, you don't have to allocate to your grief a certain period of time. Give yourself the gift of freedom from "fitting the mold" and the freedom to just experience whatever comes to you, if or when it comes to you, because everyone is different when it comes to loss.