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I've not been able to cry for a very long time, and I really need to. Is there a method to induce crying and letting it all out ?

111 Answers
Last Updated: 12/12/2020 at 3:20pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Collin McShirley, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.

Top Rated Answers
BigFriendlyJosh
May 16th, 2019 3:29am
There are some online youtube videos that really induce crying. I've watched some of them and I was happy before I watched them and afterwards I was crying. I don't usually cry either but those youtube videos were pretty sad. Listening to emotional music or war music and daydreaming about something sad can also help you shed a tear. Looking at old pictures of you and your family can also help induce happy tears. Laughter can help induce tears of happiness. It really depends on if you want to happy cry or sad cry. I do tend to cry a lot from laughter but it's also good to have a cry from sadness as well. :)
PositvityScarlet
July 17th, 2019 9:04am
I can relate to this as I am a person who tends to repress my emotions every time I felt like the emotions are coming up. I bottle my emotions up for a long period of time until I could no longer take it and I explode. This is what I have been doing for years. Recently, a few years back, I found some ways to induce crying and letting it all out. One way is to stare at the fan, where the tears will start to flow from your eyes. Otherwise, I will listen to sad musics or watch sad shows or scenes to let my emotions flow. Letting it all out helps as it can release stress that you have been holding in for a while.
HappyLittleTr33s
August 18th, 2019 4:30am
I personally have found watching try not to cry videos or writing everything down and reading it out can help. You can listen to sad music also. I find that crying can be a great way to feel better as it balances out the hormones in your brain. You can stimulate tears by cutting unions, but that won't have the same relieving feeling that crying gives you. A lot of times just saying what been going on out loud can both help get it off your chest and possibly make you cry. Whatever you decide, just know that we here on 7cups are here to help you feel better
Smiler3000
October 12th, 2019 10:14pm
Sometimes leaving your everyday environment and going to a place where is quiet and relaxing and just stopping and reflecting on life can really trigger your mind. The mind is a powerful place, and we need to learn what is is that stops us from expressing these emotions which are completely natural. I find personally speaking out aloud what I am feeling feels like I am communicating with my mind and it feels like a two way conversation but in reality it's just you. Opening up and exploring your emotions one by one and how you deal with them all differently is a positive and powerful thing to have.
ABeautifulMind1
November 24th, 2019 3:13am
I think you should take that one memory that started making you numb and keep revisiting it, something you have probably buried deep down. This should help you cry. Often something happens and we bury our emotions to protect ourselves and at times that becomes a practice with everything that hurts us and we hide those feelings away as a defense mechanism. Maybe if you revisit that memory that triggered this behavior, you might be able to cry and at times all of it comes out together. I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes for you.
LightSaver13
December 6th, 2019 6:24am
Yes, talk your problems out to someone, someone that you trust, someone that you think will not judge you because you are just a human. Express your feelings about the things that hurt you. Don't avoid being scolded, don't be too careful because that would lead you to become too conscious, enjoy life but don't avoid things that involve hard feelings, face your fears, and problems. On the other hand, don't forget to enjoy your life, be happy, live in freedom, don't suffocate yourself onto something you don't want or you don't like. Be confident and comfortable in anything and everything.
BluSky123
February 16th, 2020 10:28pm
I have actually had this problem, even in the worst emotional states. I have found for me that the best way to get your crying out is to say it all out loud. Whatever is distressing you, say it out loud and hear it. Accept it. If you are able to, find someone to talk to about it in person that will listen. You will soon find yourself hearing your words again, and soon your emotions will become stronger than you can control. When i was broken up with, I could not even cry because i was shaking and anxious. Once i opened up about it to a close person, the tears kept flowing.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2020 10:30am
Just give yourself some space and spend sometime with yourself,rethink about everything whatever that you think has gone wrong and feel free to express yourself ,don't control your emotions let them free and don't think that you are being judged. I think this will help you to letting it out Everyone has a different way of letting their emotions out but don't pressurize yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself everyone makes mistakes and now or then in everyone's life something goes wrong so please try to understand yourself and spend time with yourself because only you are the master of you
Anonymous
March 1st, 2020 5:00am
There are many reasons why someone hasn't cried in awhile. It could be related to medication, mental, or physical issues. For me, I didn't cry because I didn't feel safe enough to. I had a lot of brokenness and no one to talk to about it safely. I had to learn to trust someone enough to be non-judgmental, to empathize, and truly listen to my heart. I found a therapist I could vent everything to, and they were able to give me support, empathy, and advice. I found that I was masking my emotions with anger, because it's easier to be angry than to feel strong emotions and pain. But once I was able to let myself feel, I was able to let go of those negative emotions that had a hold on me for a long time. Maybe it will help to find someone you can trust and be vulnerable with? It's hard, but letting yourself feel is the first step of healing.
Stellia
March 29th, 2020 4:07am
If you feel like you need to cry, but you cannot, find the reasons why you are not able to. Inducing crying would not be very healthy, crying can come naturally and there is no pressure to cry or not to cry. However, think back, what is the reason that you want to cry. From your question, I can tell that it's a long term problem, do you think your problem can be solved? If you still do really need to cry, think about the things or activities that you do that could make you cry. Remember, always ask for support. We'll be here.
FindMuck44
April 18th, 2020 10:00pm
Try listening to songs that are sad yet ones that are of your liking. Try writing as well, that helps a lot in releasing thoughts and getting more in touch with your emotions. Sit with yourself more often and be accept whatever the situation is as you embrace the reality and your feelings. Remember it is okay to not be okay and it is not always simple to express yourself, take your time and try learning more about what is making you feel frozen. The closer you are to tackling the source of your issue, the easier it will be to overcome them.
caringCam04
April 19th, 2020 7:21pm
I’ve been there before, not being able to cry. It’s a painful thing to go through. I never really started crying again until one day I just had a huge mental breakdown, it was terrible but crying felt good. Now whenever I want to cry I just take deep breaths and count slowly backwards from 10. I imagine 10 represents the happiest you can ever be and 1 being the saddest. As I count down I slowly get sadder and sadder until eventually it just comes. It may not work for everyone but it’s worth the try. You can also try by letting yourself feel sad. Let all of those negative thoughts and emotions go through your mind. Once you start crying imagine the tears are all of those negative thoughts and feelings slipping away. You can also do this by breathing, breath in a negative thought and then breath it out, letting that thought go.
Anonymous
April 30th, 2020 6:55pm
So, I feel like coming to a place where your body allows you to cry can be different for everyone. For a ten year period in my life, I probably cried once. Strangely, a couple years ago, I started getting increasingly involved in a yoga and meditation practice, and now I cry all the time. In terms of inducing crying, I would say it might be pretty hard to snap your fingers and make yourself cry. I think a lot of where crying comes from is really being in touch with your own emotions from your own body, and really being connected with your body. There are some yoga poses which can relieve tension in your core and psoas area, which can be linked to emotions. Furthermore, I feel like my crying experience was linked to regularly practicing "Aum" chanting. I would chant "aum" and focus on the vibrations as they moved up from the tailbone to the navel to the chest to the throat, while at the same time vibrating between the eyes. This form of mindfulness fostered some kind of an inner interoceptive awareness, and I feel like I started crying regularly after that. For a lot of us, we've learned that it's inappropriate to cry in one way or another, and it can be difficult to get back in touch with your body when you're used to being out of touch. So, to sum up, you could try chanting aum. Also, you could try doing bridge pose, puppy pose, child's pose as ways to relieve some tension in your core. If you do any yoga poses, it's always best to lay down at the end with a couple of pillows under your knees so that your body can really relax. We naturally hold a lot of tension in our core and that's especially hard-wired when we're sitting or standing up. But, at times, this tension can be released when you sit down. Whatever you do, if you get more in touch with your body, you might feel more connected to your emotions, and, if you're sad, you might start crying. I know of a number of people who hold specific yoga poses for a long period of time (either chair pose or holding up your legs in reclined butterfly) so as to induce tremors, which one might say can provide a relief somewhat like crying. I definitely had the experience of wanting to cry without being able to for quite some time, so I wouldn't necessarily this would make you start crying right away. But yet again, it might provide some kind of relief just to do the poses, and if you lay down afterward, you might find yourself experiencing emotions more viscerally than you had before. I hope this helps.
GrimmDetermination
May 6th, 2020 7:14am
For me it's overcoming shame or fear that I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable with such open display of emotion. I make a safe place for those moments. My room, no mirrors, low lights. My room has heavy drapes on windows and walls to help keep noise out( it's for sensory issues) but it also stops my tears and grief from creating echoes or so much noise that I am hearing it and thinking others do too. I always use aromas to help, sandalwood was an incense my best friend burned and he was always my comfort and strenght. I let myself build...I feel those emotions and bring them up, I let them well up till it's to late to stop. I feel them, really feel the loss, the bitterness, the love, the anger. I let them out and let them go. I feel them drain away. Once it's done I'm exhausted. I always have a water bottle near me, and I have always needed it. It's part of my process. I think what really is key is to be in a place you are safe and comfortable, and to not feel shame. And then to really find those emotions that have to be expressed and let them out.
AjahnDreamer
May 14th, 2020 10:41am
It sounds like this is frustration as a reaction to a loss/losses. This does not have to be death, any change can elicit feelings of having lost something. If you look up grief cycle, there are stages, denial,anger,bargaining depression and acceptance. Unfortunately one has to go through denial ( feelings of numbness or rejecting it), anger (feels of frustration and resentment). If one does not allow the two first stages to happen fully, express them and acknowledge them then one does not move onto the other stages. There is the bargaining stage (weighing up the pros and cons), then the depression stage . The depression stage is when tears come as there is deep sadness that is released this way. Make you allow yourself to go through the first 3 stages and the tears will come. Suppressing denial,anger and not bargaining will lead to being stuck. Good luck my friend , we've all been in a stage much longer than we would like.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2020 9:39pm
Find a sad movie to watch. I really like a Spanish speaking movie The Orphanage. I cried like a baby when I was watching it. The story is tragic but beautiful. Sometimes watching an over the top hilarious movie can get you so teared up and you sob. Check out a fangirl documentary I Used to be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story. 10 minutes into movie I burst out laughing so hard and my tears came out. Then you can also try chopping up onions for cooking. This is a very forced method. I challenge not to cry...an onion has layers...every layer makes you cry.
FlourishingHope
August 14th, 2020 5:05pm
I understand this feeling well. I needed to cry, but I couldn't figure out how. Then, I started watching sad videos to induce crying, and it worked. Even if I wasn't crying for the reason I wanted to, just crying in general was able to help me. Something very important to note is that when you want to cry, don't do it through physical means. Meaning, don't purposefully hurt yourself, and this is important for three main reasons. One, the obvious, hurting yourself is something we should all avoid doing at all costs. Secondly, letting out tears out of physical pain isn't going to be as beneficial to you because you are initially in emotional pain, not physical. Because of this, it is better to let out emotional pain with an emotional trigger, not physical. Finally, physical triggers aren't guaranteed to work. This isn't me trying to say that emotional triggers will always work, but it comes with a lower price than physical triggers. With emotional triggers, if watching a sad video doesn't work, you didn't really lose anything. However, if you physically hurt yourself, you may not be as sensitive to physical pain, so you may not cry from it all the while being in emotional and physical pain now.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2020 5:55am
I find emotional release meditation to be a very helpful process. Much of these kinds of meditations can be done while lying in bed and are guided. You can find some great ones on Youtube, but I am sure many other places have them as well. Some of my favorites are Michael Sealy meditations. Another alternative is yoga for trapped emotions or releasing emotions. Emotions especially traumatic ones are said to end up stored in the body, and there are certain types of yoga specifically designed to help release these emotions. I use both those methods depending on my mood, and sometimes I just go here and find a listener try to summon up what I've pent up and begin to talk about it. Often times I may end up crying while I let it out. It can be very difficult for those of us who can't cry all that often to find release so we can heal. Good luck
hazelandpine
August 28th, 2020 10:39am
Personally to me, meditation spills all my tears. The feelings I have inside of me, anxiety, grief, anger, guilt, are all let out using meditation because it makes you face your feelings instead of running away from them. In fact, meditation on a regular basis makes you feel very calm and collected since you are able to face the emotions and feelings that you wouldn't otherwise. Though it is hard to do at first, I'm sure you'll be able to do it :) Just trust yourself and keep going. Additionally, you can give yourself some space and time, and you can also journal to get a better understanding of your emotions.
Evertonest
October 16th, 2020 3:16am
I would assume that you are hurting from something, or have experienced a loss of some kind. I think being overly-focused on crying makes it harder to cry. Instead, focus on the event that hurt you. You could be in a room alone, and play some sad music on your device. Replay in your mind what has hurt you in detail e.g. what you saw, what you said, what other people said, how they reacted. If you experienced a loss, reflect on what or who you have lost, and reflect on how things may not be the same again. Another option would be to talk about the negative event with a friend or family member you trust, or a Listener here on 7 Cups, and express how you felt when it happened.
compassionateFlute191
October 18th, 2020 7:08am
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. First, it would be best to see your primary care provider and make sure to rule out any medical condition that can hinder your ability to cry. Crying is normal, that’s what humans do. It’s not a sign of weakness, to the contrary it’s a way for your body to process and reduce emotional stress. I think it would be beneficial for you to continue working through your own emotions and connect with others. Inducing crying maybe a useful therapy for some, especially those with difficulty expressing their emotions. In know that crying will happen naturally, eventually. Keep working at it but don’t be too hard on yourself.