I am very confused about my sexuality. How can I determine what my sexuality really is?
120 Answers
Last Updated: 03/01/2021 at 10:40pm
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 20th, 2016 7:26pm
It can be very difficult to determine sexuality and romantic orientation, but the only one who can figure out is yourself. I advise reading about all kinds of orientation, and thinking about who you have felt attracted to, or if you have been attracted to anyone at all. And experimenting is a very good thing to do, even if you end up on what you initially thought you were !
A good way of trying to determine your sexuality, from my experience, is thinking in the future. Would you marry a man, a woman, or wouldn't mind either? Would you spend the rest of your life with them, raise children, have sexual relations? What are you attracted to? That is how I figured out my sexuality. It will come in time, too.
Anonymous
February 20th, 2016 2:31am
Well when I was discovering my sexuality I did research on anything and everything LGBTQ+ it helps.. But just remember you don't need a label you can take the time without a label to explore and expiriment.
You can determine you sexuality just by knowing what youre more attracted to. There are so many sexualities out there so you could be more than just gay/lesbian, trans, bi, or wtv.
You shouldn't label yourself. You know how you feel about a certain gender. Don't allow society to put a label on you. You're the only one who knows how you feel. Don't pressure yourself to label your sexuality.
Sounds like you are confused about your feelings. I think that you are the expert on you. In my experience things like this take time and patience to discover.
It is good if you could talk to a specialist on this. Determining your sexuality is a very lengthy process it takes a lot of time and effort. You can also take it one step at a time by dating.
Personally, when I was struggling with my sexuality I read on the Internet a lot about other people's experiences. Every time I thought "maybe I could be ___" I would research a lot about that topic and see whether I related to the mentioned facts/qualities. It's important to remember that you don't HAVE to have a label and that other people can't tell you what you are. In the end you are the only one that completely understands what situation you're in and you're your ultimate quide.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2016 4:32pm
I wouldn't think much about it, especially all the terms! In the end, what matters is what you want, you don't have to find some term to fit you exactly. You can experience things with people, or you can simply just not think about it. Also don't forget that your sexuality doesn't define you in any way, and that it can change over time.
There are online quizzes that can help you decide (like http://mysexualorientation.com/) but there are also resources that list the different sexualities. Maybe you could read a list (like this one: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-term-definitions/) and see if you match up to any of the sexualities!
Its is quite difficult to figure out your sexuality but experimenting is the best way to figure yourself out
You just need time to understand this. Just try to understand your feelings. How do you feel when you are seeing hot person of your gender? If it interest you? Maybe do you have feeling to both genders? It's ok o feel like that
Well every sexuality is different it really depends on what it is. I would recommend a professional just in case.
Anonymous
February 13th, 2016 1:13pm
Experiment to find out what you're into, pornography can also work great too. If there is something you want to try then go ahead and do it. Whatever makes you comfortable
There are several different ways of thinking about what makes a person gay. Some people will argue that one's sexuality is determined only by who you sleep with, while others argue that sexuality is about one's innate preference for one gender or another. Still, others believe that sexuality is a construct that is more or less forced on people through socialization.
Anonymous
February 13th, 2016 9:14am
You need to find out what sex is interesting for you. Try everything and dont be ashamed. You sre not only who are confised about his or her sexuality
Anonymous
February 13th, 2016 7:32am
I know this is more or less controversal but you could try watching porn and see what you are or aren't into. You could also ask yourself what sexual stuff you'd want to do and who makes you want to do that to them...
Only you and you alone will really be able to determine what your sexuality is. However, if you want to know more about different types of sexuality and what categories you may fall into, there are a lot of quizzes and informational websites out there that can help you determine your sexuality. Also, if you don't want to put a label on yourself, you don't need to. Whatever sexuality you feel you are, all that matters is that you feel comfortable about who you are.
You're feeling confused about your sexuality and I can relate to that. Figuring that out is something that only you can do. It will ultimately help you to figure it out yourself.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2016 9:52pm
It could take years to find your sexuality so take your time until you are comfortable with yourself
you dont have to classify your sexuality if you are unsure of what to call yourself. there are many sites to better explain what different sexuality traits are and how to determine who you are. just be yourself and keep your head up. you will find yourself in time. :)
There's no 'magical way' to know your 'true' sexuality. Some people have a fluid sexuality and may experience changes during their life. Some may experience traumatic experiences, thus changing the way they see their sexuality. In any case, your feelings are valid and being confused is okay. You can take your time to figure things out.
Sexuality is a fluid thing that you gradually realize over time. Just see who you are interested/ attracted to. Experiment around if you're old enough. It will come. Try not to worry.
Sometimes you can't put a label on things just by how you feel at the moment. Often you have to just go through your life, being with who you want- and then you can look back on it later and see a pattern, like if you've only really been with people of your own gender etc.
However, questions you can ask are "would I go out with a girl/boy", "would I have sex with a girl/boy", "am I attracted to anyone in that way", and so on.
You can think of what gender you are or are not attracted to, from there you can search up the different sexualities, especially if you feel like you don't fit in with the usual hetro/homo/bi there are other sexualities too, try doing some research, that's how I found out I was asexual. But remember you don't need to fit into a certain category, sexuality is a spectrum.
I understand how this feels, the desire for someone just to say what sexuality you or i are, to make things easier. What i advise is take your time, there is no pressure to know if you are gay or straight, you will just know! I spent a lot of time in denial, trying to persuade myself that i was straight, and i dated a girl thinking i liked her in 'that way', but i didn't. i didn't like kissing her or holding her hand, seeing her was a chore. However one day my best friend, a guy, kissed me on the lips when i told him i thought i was gay, and in that moment i knew it was right, it felt magical. When i kiss guys, it feels right, tingly, magical, girls i don't feel this way. I hope this helps!
It takes a lot of time and it can be really confusing, unfortunately there is no way however you ill eventually work it out.
I personally struggled with this myself, I spoke to others that had gone through the same. I went out and experimented to try to make sense of what was going on. There are sites that can help with figuring you sexuality out, but at the end of the day you have to look inside yourself, as no one can make the decision for you.
I know it can be hard and you may truly want to label yourself this very second as gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever it may be really. But the truth is, you have to get to know yourself and this takes time. It doesn't happen over night and it takes a lot of patience. Currently I define myself as bisexual because I don't want to tell others I am a lesbian and then fall in love with a guy and then be "not allowed" to date him. Time will help you figure out who you really are :)
Anonymous
January 27th, 2015 1:39am
Whatever is in your heart dear
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