I have a crush on a girl at school. I think. I’ve never really had a serious crush. Idk if I like boys though. Am I bi or lesbian? I could even be hetero but I have no idea!
Last Updated: 08/15/2020 at 8:48pm
Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.
Top Rated Answers
You can try to imagine yourself with boys and girls, in sexual and romantic contexts, and be honest with yourself about how that makes you feel. Analyze your physical and emotional response to these fantasies, this will give you a clue of what your desires and feelings are. Whatever feels good contributes to determining your sexuality.
I have experienced a similar situation. If you haven't already maybe first take some time to learn about your possibilities. I then thought about how much I really liked this person and if I felt this way with other girls as well. I ended up realizing that I thought about this person a lot, and realized I liked them. If you are experiencing something similar it's okay to be changing back and forth. You never have to be set on a certain sexuality or or how you see yourself. If you end up realizing you like a girl, but then like a boy a month later, that's okay! You may be bi or just be changing how you feel.
Hey there! As an openly gay man myself, I can certainly understand that you may feel a bit of uncertainty as to what you feel that your preference may be, and it can sometimes be unnerving and scary which is a normal emotional response to feel as this is a pivotal time in your life where you want to know whom you are and what you feel that makes you happy and complete, and it is your absolute right to love whom you want to love and be loved unconditionally for who you are regardless if you later identify as hetero, bisexual, or lesbian. And, if I can provide any helpful insight from personal experience, It's perfectly okay and healthy to explore yourself and your sexuality; Wanting to explore and/or experiment and having the natural human desire to learn more about yourself as to who you take an interest to, be it boy, or girl, is OK and a completely normal human want/need, don't let anyone else attempt to sway or discourage you, only you can be the one to make the ultimate decision, and the best way that may help you to understand and determine and explore as to whom you are interested in, is to simply go out and mingle, and also be sure to feel confident within yourself as well! Of course you may not be able to make an immediate decision "overnight" per se, but Whether it's at a hetero or lgbt+ bar, a social or mixer event in your town or city, or a hobby or group class of sorts, you're sure to meet many new and exciting people, and who knows? You may find Mr. Or Mrs. Right!
It’s early days for a label if you even need one. Becoming yourself is about exploring your identity and a crush may develop into something more or may not. Great thing is there are so many groups online to find others seeking answers too.
Only you can say what your identity is. But you don't need to know what it is right away. For most people, it takes a lot of time, maybe even their whole life. Don't worry too much about labelling yourself if that's too confusing right now. Just live your life and explore what and who you like, and as you learn more about yourself, you should eventually come to a label that seems like it fits. Also remember that it's totally okay to pick a label and then change your mind later if it doesn't seem right anymore. I wish you luck!
It’s completely okay to not be sure on your sexuality! Our identities can actually be fluid meaning they can change from time to time anyway. With time, you will find the label that best suits you. It could maybe help for you to have a look at the different vocabulary that we can use to describe our sexualities - you may find some terms that you relate to the most. Some people even don’t pick a label at all! ‘Queer’ is a term quite often used by people with minority genders or sexualities and basically means ‘not heterosexual’ or ‘not cisgender.’
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