I'm romantically attracted to males, but I think I'm sexually attracted to only females. I thought I was asexual, but now I'm not sure. Is this normal, or does it mean anything about my sexuality?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 05/13/2019 at 3:38pm
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Top Rated Answers
SarahbyNight
January 22nd, 2019 9:29pm
This is very normal! Romantic and sexual attraction are separate, so people can be hetero-romantic and homo-sexual, a-romantic and bi-sexual, or any combination you can think of! It's important to remember that sexuality can be fluid. It's okay if the orientation that made sense for you yesterday doesn't fit as well today. It's also perfectly okay to be questioning, or in a gray zone where you're unsure or confused. It's also okay to have no "labels" at all, and to just be a human and love whoever makes sense to you. It's all part of the journey. You're making excellent observations about yourself and your sexuality. Keep paying attention to what your heart and body are telling you--when you're thinking of certain sexual or romantic partners, does your heart flutter, your stomach sink, or your face flush? Does that feel good or bad? Don't be afraid to be surprised by who draws your attention. Labels and orientations can be useful tools, but nothing is more important than what feels good in your heart and body.
enbyemu
December 27th, 2017 5:20pm
Sexuality is complicated at the best of times. Your situation doesn't sound at all unusual to me - though it's likely going to be a long process for you figuring out where you fall, The good news is that you're going to be attracted to who your going to be attracted to regardless of whatever labels you use to describe your sexuality, so don't feel like you need to restrain yourself based on the labels you choose! But if you want to talk about it in greater detail, come to the LGBTQ+ subcommunity forums! We'd love to have you. :)
FromDrewWithLove
February 26th, 2018 4:54am
It's a bit uncommon, but it's technically still normal. Sexuality and romantic attraction don't always match. The easiest way to show this is asexuals who aren't aromantic, and vice versa. It's not unheard of for sexuality to not match up with romantic attraction. I can't define your sexuality for you, but I can say that this is more normal than you may first think.
Aayla - Expert in LGBTQ+
May 13th, 2019 3:38pm
Romantic and sexual orientations do not always coincide. There are people who are sexually attracted to one or more genders, and they're not necessarily romantically attracted to the same genders. If you're only romantically attracted to men and only sexually attracted to women, this would probably make you an heteroromantic homosexual if you're a woman, or homoromantic heterosexual if you're a man. This is perfectly ok, there are other people who feel just like you, and it's normal! You should never feel like you're strange, because you are not! And you can still have a perfectly happy life, pursuing purely sexual relationship if you wish, or a romantic relationship with a man that is ok with your lack of sexual attraction towards men. You can even engage in polyamorous relationship or open relationships if you feel like, romantically bonding with a man that is aware of your attraction to women, and is ok with you loving him but having sex with someone else you don't love. It all depends on what your need and desires are, everyone follows their own path, but I can ensure you that whatever kind of relationship you'll look forward to, there are people who accept types of relationship different from the "conventional" ones. And they can perfectly work. It's all up to you. Just follow your heart, be open about it with the people you'll bond with, and everything is gonna be fine!