I'm scare if I tell everyone that I'm gay. They will treat me differently and keep distance. Why am I gay?
Last Updated: 06/10/2019 at 6:54am
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
Top Rated Answers
There are some people who will treat you differently, but not everyone. Not the people who will love you for who you are. I understand the fear. Coming out will likely cause a certain amount of upheaval in your life. However, being able to be who you truly are and who you will be whether or not you come out, is true freedom and you will find the people who will care for you regardless of your orientation - these are the people worth having in your life.
Why are you gay? Well, pretty much the same reason straights are straight! You have a sexual preference, which is normal and good! Being gay is one of the lovely things that makes you YOU, so don't ever let their opinions/prejudices change who you are.
I think this is a fear many of us have, that once we come out, people will treat us differently or avoid us. but really, this is often not the case, especially when it's people that care a lot about you. You were gay before you came out and they liked you then, so there's really no reason they shouldn't still like you now. I know that's not always the case, but I do think that sometimes we overthink a lot when we don't need to. It's no one's 'fault' that you're gay, or that anyone is lgbtq+, and there's really nothing wrong with it. I know that it can be tough sometimes, over something you have no control of, but that's just how society has been set up for some reason. But more and more, it's becoming a little easier. So, I think you shouldn't feel bad for being who you are, and you shouldn't let the fear get in the way of your happiness (taking safety into consideration, though!)
If they treat you differently because you are gay, maybe you should ask yourself if you really need them in your life in the first place rather than asking why you are gay. Why are they straight? Do they ask it to themselves?
Well you are the way you are because thats just who you are and thats the way you were made. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are awesome the way you are. And only come out if you think you are ready and are in a safe and supporting environment. Maybe hint to some people along the way?
Just like some people are born with, let's say, an innate ability in mathematics rather than in foreign languages, some people are born with a sexual orientation rather than another. It's something natural, innate, and completely alright! The only limit here is in the mind of people who don't understand that your orientation doesn't make you a better or worse person. You're just you, and that's totally alright! And though there are people that have prejudices about it, those whose opinion really matters are the ones who truly love you and care for you, that will be able to accept you for who you are. I know it's scary, but there are more open-minded people out there than you think. You are not alone!
Well, its biological actually. Contrary to people believing that it is a choice...its not. And it does not mean that anything is wrong with you. I would strongly encourage you to research into it more and how people who are attracted to the same sex differ from those who don't and the cause of this. Its actually very interesting and you can help educate people on the issue as well! I understand being scared to share this part of yourself, I'm sure there are many things and fears keeping you from speaking your truth. But there are many people out here going through the exact same thing as you that you can get insight from. You are not alone!
It's not your fault. You love you who love. If they treat you differently they aren't really your friends. How should your sexual identity make them treat you any differently? Right after you tell them, it might take a bit of time to adjust to the news but really soon I'm sure everything will be back to normal. If you have any friends that are also gay maybe you could ask them how they told people, maybe associating yourself with other gay people would make you comfortable. No matter what, your friends and family should support you. Good Luck!
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