How can I feel safe as a lesbian in my community that is not accepting?
Last Updated: 10/15/2019 at 1:21pm
Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust
Top Rated Answers
You can try to build yourself a safe space where you feel supported, by surrounding yourself with people that are inclusive and accepting. I'm sure you can find someone around you, maybe trying to discuss LGBT topics to test their views might be a good start! You can also get in contact with the closest LGBT group, there are some of them in a lot of cities and towns, and you're definitely likely to find support there! Feeling supported will make you feel stronger and safer. If you're also concerned about your physical safety and you feel at risk of being targeted by hate crimes, you can try to be accompanied by someone when you go out when possible, and always let someone know where you are. With time, I'm sure you'll find a way to move somewhere you can feel more welcomed!
The safest way is to probably not come out. Then when you're old enough move away, into a bigger city where people are more likely to be accepting.
To be honest, I could not feel save there, unless I had at least a couple of friends or my family behind me. If you have a girlfriend you probably avoid being seen in public, and don't feel comfortable when you're doing something. I think the best solutin would be to either grow a thick skin, or move.
That one person makes all the difference. Find someone you can trust. Also probably stay away from the haters
Get connected online with people who ARE accepting. For as many people surrounding you that can't accept you, there are triple as many out there online. Try getting into things like pridefest, where you know you'll be accepted for who you are.
In my experience, it can be frightening and intimidating to live in a community where you can't freely express yourself. My only advice is to seek out people who can understand how you feel and accept you. Whether that is a gay/straight alliance or just making LGBT friends. That can help make you feel a little more safe/ understood within your community.
Respect the feelings and life styles of those around you without disrespecting yourself. If they ask, provide knowledge of your lifestyle. If they don't ask, respect their wishes and treat them like you would a good friend.
Stay alert, confident, and stand in your truth. Did you know that integrity is one of the best powers to have in life?
It's a shame that we live in a world where our personal choices are frowned upon to such a degree that we have to worry about our physical wellbeing. I always kept my circle of friends small and was very selective about who I chose to associate myself with. For everyone else outside my circle I kept them at a distance. Not so much that I was unwelcoming or unapproachable, but enough to protect myself from potentially toxic people.
Carry something with you that reminds you that you are valid if you can. You are still a person and you have the same rights as everyone else.
Only come out if you think it's safe. Your personal safety is sadly more important than coming out.
It all depends on you. If it were me, I would NOT hide it. It will make you feel sick and poisoned and not safe. I would get a girlfriend or keep one if I already had one and do what makes me happy without being overly public, like you would with any relationship anyways. Just do YOU and dont worry about anyone else. You can always find a new community but there is only ONE you. It is important to remember that because we do not get to change who we are and if you are Lesbian than hey- go get 'em tiger.
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