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I came out to my parents as transgender over six months ago, they have ignored it entirely. How can I gently bring up the subject again?

7 Answers
Last Updated: 09/15/2020 at 3:40pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Top Rated Answers
July 18th, 2017 5:27pm
I'm in a similar situation as you actually :) If you want, you can casually bring up a transgender celebrity in a conversation and see how they react. If they react well, you can go ahead and tell your parents right then and there. Another option is gently reminding them of the previous conversation you guys had and trying to tell them again. If you don't want to do either of these, you can always write a letter to them telling them about yourself and your feelings and your identity. You don't have to give them the letter directly; just leave it somewhere that they'll find it.
January 23rd, 2017 1:30am
Everyone deals with change in their own way., and on their own timetable. It sounds frustrating that your parents are ignoring your coming out. I might use that frustration as a gentle starting point. For example, "Mom and Dad, I shared with you a big change in my life, and you haven't really reacted to it. I am feeling a little frustrated about this. Did you have questions? Is there a way we can talk more about this? I want you, as my parents, to be involved with me."
March 28th, 2017 6:04pm
This is a really tough situation and depends a lot on your family history and why your parents reacted that way. The most important thing is your safety, physically and emotionally, so having supports in place before you have that conversation would be a good idea. Tell a friend, if you can, that you might need them at short notice if you have to leave the house. As for the actual conversation, it can be helpful to remind your parents that you are still the same person and, as hard as it might be, give them some space to process the change. Some people just need a bit of time to work through their feelings and will hopefully accept you for the beautiful unique person you are!
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
June 10th, 2019 12:43am
They surely haven't forgot about what you told them, but they probably don't have a clear understanding of your reality and they entered into a denial, pretending nothing happened. With delicate topics such as this, the best way to go is probably to be as open-hearted as you can. You can try to approach them and tell them what you feel like, being open about how much this means to you and how badly you need them to at least listen and give you a chance to help them understand you. Make sure they know you're available for any question they may have, maybe give them sources to consult by themselves if they want to see more deeply into the transgender reality. Let them know how you feel, who you are, and how much you need them. I know it's hard to be so open-hearted when you feel you're not getting the attention you need, but it's worth trying!
November 28th, 2017 6:05pm
go over to them and sit with them and tell them that you need to know what they think about it. and explain to them how being a transgender makes you happy.
July 24th, 2018 5:21pm
Approach the subject with caution, it can often be hard for a parent to accept their child is transgender and they might need more time for that but be honest to them about your feelings, tell them how your coming out being ignored has made you feel and what you would like from them in the future. (For example: calling you a different name, using correct pronouns)
September 15th, 2020 3:40pm
when i first came out as trans to my parents, they wanted nothing to do with me or my identity. the didn't use the pronouns i wanted, or the name i had picked out for myself. i felt devastated and like they were being unfair. i talked to a therapist, who had a conversation with my parents about why it's important to recognize your child's identity and take steps to accept them as who they are. while you may not have a therapist, i would suggest talking to someone you trust (and someone that knows you're trans) and have a conversation with your parents. tell them how you feel and be open and honest with them about what's going on. if you feel as if you're being ignored, tell them that. -anthony