I don't know if I'm bisexual or just overthinking things. What do I do?
Last Updated: 04/13/2020 at 2:52pm
Andrea Tuck, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.
Top Rated Answers
It's ok to think carefully about things when you're questioning your orientation, as long as you're not draining yourself! The questioning shouldn't be a fatigue, but rather a positive process of discovering the self. You can keep analyzing your feelings and sensation, working on fantasies with different people to see how that makes you feel... Questioning is good, just take it slowly, don't push yourself towards finding answers too fast, and it's gonna be ok!
Experiment if you are unsure and comfortable with that, and ask yourself why you are unsure in the first place. Is it because you are genuinely unsure, or for a different reason? Internalized homophobia isn't super uncommon, and it can cause people a lot of distress (not that you necessarily have it). At the end of the day though, you love who you love, and that's fine, no matter who that may be. Labels can be helpful, but they aren't always necessary; they don't change who/how you actually are. In my opinion, sometimes we stress ourselves a bit too much about labels. Hope this helped.
It's totally okay if you're bisexual and it's totally okay if you're not. It's not a choice that you have to make 'now' or ever! People's preferences change all the time. You may find that you're 'bicurious' - sometimes this term makes people more comfortable since it's not committing to a label. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to overthink if you need too but there's no rush to figure it all out.
Don’t stress so much about the labels. You like what you like and that can change and it doesn’t make your sexuality any less valid or wrong in any way. Having specific preferences about what you do or don’t want to do is common to people of all sexualities and, again, sometimes it changes over time or depending on who you’re with. There are plenty of people who are don’t have a gay/lesbian experience until later in their life and, in general, I think there’s a lot of sympathy and support for that. I'd say if you think there’s a connection, just be up front and communicate,
It’s perfectly normal to question your own sexuality,sexuality is fluid in general so it is always ok to not be sure. I identify as asexual,realising this was a tough road. I often thought to myself “Maybe I’m just weird?” Or things like “Maybe I’ll grow out of it?”. It made me feel very different from my friends and that maybe there was something wrong with me,however through research and talking to those online with the same sexuality...I realised that I’m not alone. There are many bisexual people out there who you can read up on and many stories about self realisation which are inspiring to read. It’s a long journey and you’re already on the right track :)
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