I'm bisexual and my straight boyfriend isn't homophobic when it comes to anyone else but me. He wants to try to fix being upset about things but he doesn't know how and i don't know what to tell him?
Last Updated: 05/21/2019 at 11:45pm
Chanel Bowen, LCMHC, LCAS, CCS, NCC
Licensed Professional Counselor
With compassionate counseling, I help my clients through anxious thoughts and feelings of depression. Improve self-esteem, relationships, learn new skills.
Top Rated Answers
The first thing you need to remember is that you aren't responsible for him. You do not need to guide him through his feelings or make sure he understands everything. If he feels upset, that is his problem. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't help him at all, or you should leave him to sort through this alone, but when helping people out, you can get caught up in it, and the responsibility, which is not yours, can shift to you and you can feel overwhelmed and frustrated. When it gets too much you have every right to step away to breathe. Now, on what to say to your boyfriend, maybe send him resources from the bisexual community. I assure you, you aren't the first to have this problem, and people who have solved it are only one google search away. Take time and think of what you are going to say, spur of the moment explanations rarely work well.
Sounds like it’s tough. Perhaps explaining to him how you feel about this and telling him that you are still his girlfriend, that you won’t dump him for anyone on the side is a good plan? Whatever you feel is best in this scenario. Good luck!
It sounds like a very difficult situation, and the first thing to do is probably to talk about it as deeply and openly as you can. Maybe he just doesn't understand what being bisexual means, and he's afraid that it will affect your relationship in some way. Dialogue is very important to make sure he understand how you feel, what your orientation mean, and that your love for him is not affected by it. However, if he keeps on trying to change you even after you openly explained the reality you live, if he does not accept you for who you are and keeps pushing you to be different, then he does not deserve your love. You have the right to be with someone who fully accepts you and loves you for who you are, and if he won't do that, you deserve to be free to find someone who will!
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