Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I'm really confused about my sexuality. Is 18 too old to figure out if I'm bi? How can I find out if I'm just going through a phase or if I'm also into girls?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 11/04/2019 at 5:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Caroline Middelsdorf, MSc.


I am a warm hearted, patient, calm and open-minded therapist. I am here to dedicate my expertises to my clients and their individual challenges, thoughts and feelings.

Top Rated Answers
February 26th, 2019 10:21am
Hey! No age is too old to figure out your sexuality, definitely not 18. As far as liking girls is concerned, you would know what's going on in you. You're the only expert on you, so take some time to really figure out what's inside of you. If you're experiencing romantic attraction towards other girls, it's unlikely that it's just a phase. If there are girls you look at and think "damn, I'd want her to be my girlfriend" or "damn, kissing her would be awesome" it's definitely not a phase. However, you're the only expert on you so you have the right to identify with whatever term you think feels right. Think about it yourself and you'll figure it out, don't worry :)
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 12th, 2019 12:04pm
There's no right or wrong age to discover your sexuality, everyone has a different path and there are no predefined times. You can analyze your feelings and sensations about boys and girls, maybe try to imagine yourself with different people in sexual and romantic scenarios, and see how that makes you feel. If both men and women attract you and you can see yourself happy with both, you are bisexual! The whole "phase" argument was invented by people who want LGBT people to doubt themselves. There are no phases, there's just what you feel and it's ok. If you like both, you're bi.
September 23rd, 2019 8:08pm
It is normal to question your sexuality. You are never too old or too young to figure this out. Whatever label you choose to identify with at a certain time may change throughout the course of your life and that is okay. It does not make you or your sexuality any less valid if how you feel about love changes over time. I would recommend talking to a 7 cups listener who has been through a similar experience themselves. This will allow them to empathise with you further and better understand your situation. There are many listeners on 7 cups who would be willing to talk.
September 26th, 2019 8:00am
For some people, their sexuality changes and that is okay! I know the born-this-way rhetoric is helpful for a lot of people, but there are a lot of us who had no idea until later! I didn't figure out I was even into the same gender until I was 22. At the time, I was dating a guy that I was in love with so I identified as Bi. I later realized that while I definitely did love him, I never saw him as a guy. at 24 I came out as a lesbian. I know part of the reason it took me a long time was because I had very limited ideas of what those sexualities looked like. The older you get, the better you understand yourself. Yes, plenty of people your age will be more certain, but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with not being. The best way I found to figure out how I really felt was to sit with it, figure out what about it made me feel uncomfortable and try to answer those questions. Long story short, if you think you like girls? You like girls. Want more help? A lot of places have a LGBTQ outreach center! Look for other examples of people in books (local librarian is always a great resource!), youtube, or real friends and open your perspective! It helped me feel more confident in my gayness. If it changes, then your label can change too. Trust your gut.
August 14th, 2018 12:01am
Of course not! People can discover what their preferences are, or that they have changed at any stage in their lives, so no age is too old to learn more about yourself! You may work out that you are simply curious, or that you have an equal preference or a stronger preference in one direction or another- anything! One thing you may find a little helpful is having a look at the Kinsey Scale. You'll see how variable people can be in their preferences from that alone. Just remember, you're learning about yourself, and whatever you discover is just another part of you being you :-).
November 4th, 2019 5:05pm
18 is not old haha. It is never too late and you are never too old to figure out your sexuality. Maybe you like men, maybe women, maybe other genders, maybe a mixture of them. Maybe you are bi, maybe straight, maybe just a little bi-curious. Use the label you are most comfortable with right now and feel free to change it if you ever feel like it does not fit you anymore. Please, take your time, take all the time you need, my friend. You can do this. I believe in you. Maybe take a test on the internet to help with your confusion?