So I think and feel that I'm bisexual but I don't want to label myself as bi because I'm only 17 and haven't really been in love yet, what should I do? Do I come out to/tell others if I'm not sure?
Last Updated: 01/19/2021 at 11:44pm
Traci Seery, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
Ultimately, this is your decision. Whatever you choose to do should be your choice. If you aren't comfortable telling other people this then you don't have to. Likewise if you feel the need to tell others then that is up to you. Either way, please know that it is okay to be confused on your sexuality. It is something that you learn over time and there is nothing wrong with being confused about it.
I think you should just take your sexuality slowly. It's something you will get to experience and grow with for the rest of your life. Instead, feel empowered you have this self-awareness that you are young and have some idea of who you are and might be. It is exciting and scary when you learn about yourself and your identity. I would take your time with this and not rush into anything. If you meet someone of the same gender as yourself and like them and it goes well, then great! if you like someone of the opposite gender, that is fine, too. You are young and are in no rush to make any final decisions about how you want to handle your sexuality. Enjoy the process of finding out who you are and best of luck!
Sexual orientation is simply what you feel you are. If you feel attracted to both men and women and you feel bisexual, that's what you are, you don't need to fall in love to prove that to yourself or to others. But if you don't feel comfortable in labeling yourself, don't! You're not obliged to. You will only do it and eventually come out with others if and when it will make you feel comfortable.
If you don't want to label yourself yet, that's totally fine! You don't have to force a label on yourself. As for the falling in love part, usually you can tell by who you crush on (I haven't completely been in love yet, in the sense the love is mutual, but I choose to label myself anyway). It may help if you come out as not straight, if you want to come out. Gives you a little room to breathe, if that makes sense. But honestly, it's up to you who you tell and who you don't tell. Go at your own pace; you are not required to come out to everyone if you don't want to.
I think your sexual identity has all to do with yourself. Nobody's business. I'd say first live your life and calmly someday you will know what your's is. Then it's again nobody's business. But if you think that for some reason you want to say it (let's say that will make your life easier, or you don't feel alright to keep it inside) then go for it. But let it mature inside of you. Make it a personal matter first (because it is), later find your reasons of if you want to come up or not. Don't be in a hurry, everything will unfold on time.
If you don't want to label yourself if you're not ready, you absolutely don't have to. Labels are not important, you don't NEED one. However, if you feel you WANT a label, and feel you're bi, you can go ahead and label yourself as that, and tell people, if you want. If you find out in the future that something is different, simply tell people that things changed. (Also, you don't have to fall in love to know your sexuality! I've known I was a lesbian since I was 6, even though I didn't have a word for it then. Sometimes, you just KNOW those things.)
This is all up to you if you feel as if you are bisexual you can label yourself as bisexual or if you feel that you do not want to label yourself, that is okay too. Also, come out when you feel that you are in a safe space also, come out when you are ready and feel 100% comfortable.
Labels are cool, as long as the person feels very comfortable using them (so that the label feels right and complements them, not defines them). It is up to you, after all. But as you're very young, you might want to think it over, whether you're comfortable labelling yourself or not. Some people see sexuality as something continuous, some people don't. Some people like to come out and/or be labelled, some don't have the urge to do that. I'd say, give yourself time and if you want to confide in someone, be sure the person is decent and trustworthy. Best of luck!
Labelling yourself is a choice and not a necessity. If you feel like you need more time to give a name to how you feel, you are allowed to do that. Ultimately, it is your choice and yours alone. It's not necessary to fall in love to know which gender you like. Once you are sure about yourself, you can choose a person/people that you can trust and tell them. Coming out or not is a choice as well. You don't "need to" or "have to" tell anyone unless you are comfortable doing so. Your safety comes first. Good luck!
It all depends on yourself, If you are not sure, you don't need to tell anyone. Love is not about age and gender.
don't come out until you're ready! if you're unsure of your sexuality, then wait until you're comfortable labeling yourself, and don't come out until you feel as though you're ready.
You can always tell them exactly what you feel: that you’re -probably- bisexual. You can also choose to only bring it up when the subject is brought up and/or when you’re asked about it.
Your sexual preferences are entirely your own. It is not something that you need to inform persons of. Take the time to truly understand what you identify with and when you are confident of that, if you feel led to do so share it but there is no rush
If you feel a connection and both emotional attracted to them and sexually attracted to both men and women then for sure. But if you feel more confident trying out new things. With the gender you have not yet. Then you could always try it out. Then come out when you are ready.
I understand. It can be difficult figuring out what you believe your sexuality is. I promise, with a little help, you’ll figure out the answer. If you think you’re bi, there is no reason for you to have to go out and tell everyone. you don’t need to tell a single soul until you think it’s right. like i said before, it can be difficult deciding on the first place. you really don’t have to worry about it. i’m sure if you did tell people they would 109% accept you for who you are. I hope you figure out your path.
My daughter wasn't sure as a teen and she told me she was bicurious. So maybe you're bicurious. Take time to figure yourself out first and then go from there. At seventeen you're supposed to still be figuring things out. And you are definitely not going to be the same person at twenty seven or thirty seven. Give yourself time to grow into life. what's the rush. And I could have answered this in seventy words but its making me turn it into a hundred word post so the last twenty five words are just to all the quota.
you don't have to tell people unless you want to, just as you don't have to come out unless you want to. it is always hard to put a label on something and much harder to put a label on ourselves. there is no book or how to decide I'm bisexual guideline. maybe u could explore these feelings. I bet it is confusing for you. but the best way to do this is by experimenting in my opinion to better understand the emotions you are having. on the topic of coming out, loved ones will support you regardless of your sexuality so whether you come out to them or not they will always be there right by your side :).
If you don’t want to label yourself yet, don’t label yourself yet. Labels can be helpful, but they are by no means necessary or right for everyone at every time. It’s totally valid to not have a label yet or ever. Also, remember that labels are by no means binding. If you label yourself bisexual now, it doesn’t mean you can’t change how you identify if you discover more about yourself. As for telling others, if you want to and feel comfortable doing so, you could. You don’t necessarily need to say for sure you’re bisexual, instead you could say you’re thinking you might be bi or that you’re questioning your sexuality. That said, you by no means have to come out. That’s information that is personal and you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell anyone if you don’t want to.
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