Why am I always concerned about what my sexual orientation is?
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 9:17pm
Polly Letsch, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.
Top Rated Answers
It's human nature to want to label confusing or difficult things. And when you're first figuring it out, even when you're older things can affect your perspective and point of view that bring it back into the spotlight, it can become very important. There's nothing wrong with thinking and talking about it unless it does start to bring you down or affect your life in a negative way.
Society puts a lot of pressure on us to label our sexual orientation. It can add stress to be unsure of what it is. It can also add pressure if your sexual orientation deviates from the norm.
There is a stigma to who people are sexually attracted to. Once you are able to accept you CAN NOT control who you fall for, the happier you can be and the easier it will be to accept yourself.
Because it's an important part of your identity and it's right to question it deeply when you feel like you're still not sure about it. You can try to imagine yourself with different people in sexual and romantic contexts and be honest with yourself about what makes you feel good and happy. Analyzing your feelings and sensations about these fantasies on men and women can help you!
I think that you are feeling concerned about it because it's a huge part of ourself and sometime us or people aren't really okay with it, you know what I mean? But your sexual orientation don't define you as a person, be whatever you feel to be, give it sometime, try new experiences, be patient and you'll get the answer. You just have to wait, don't push yourself too hard into things, you don't have to label yourself, feel free to be yourself without think about "what" you are, instead think about "who" you are.
Sexual orientation can be a hard thing to understand. A lot of people want to know RIGHT NOW what their sexual orientation is, and if you are questioning what it may be then that means you are gonna need some time to figure things out. Just know that is natural.
It's only natural. The only way you can resolve the problem is to try different things out. Maybe join your local LGBTQ Community center or your school's GSA?
I cannot fully determine why but it's a possibility that you prefer to label yourself. Which is completely normal. Plus, it might just might be a lot to be questioning and you just fell like you have to know right away kind of like a cliff hanger in a book.
Its okay to be concern about it, but don't let the concern create anxiety. Sexuality is a very tricky subject it takes time and effort for you to figure it out. But don't stress about it, just find a way to let it flow and make sense in its own time.
There has been a lot of judgement over people and their sexual orientation throughout the years. This constant worry of whether you're "normal" or "acceptable" can toy in the back of your mind. It's hard to shake this almost natural feeling but remember, no matter what your sexual orientation is, what matters is that you are happy with whomever you love.
It is hard not to be concerned about sexual orientation when media and social media seem to be throwing it in our faces every time we turn around. If it is something that you are not concerned with right now, dont pay it no worry. You do not have to let that ONE part of you dictate how you LIVE.
Because that is what society does. In the era of 2017, that seems to be a main focus and because of that, you feel as if you need to find yourself and identify yourself, but you do not have to. It is not necessary, just a form of labeling that we don't necessarily need.
We live in a society where alternative sexual/gender/romantic orientations are still stigmatized. In many ways, this fear of what you might be is preventing you from fully understanding it in a way. You have no need to label yourself so give it time and you'll figure it out eventually.
Depending on various factors we can have a preoccupation about feeling some concern about what our sexual orientation maybe. Perhaps ask yourself whether it is your strict religious and cultural background or past history of seeing those who LGBTQ+ getting harassed being the contributing force in making you feel concerned. From personal experience, I can identify with having the need to personally have felt pressure to impulsively label myself as "straight" or "gay" and it comes from what I’m feeling on that day. Labels I understand can be confusing. Comfort within your own sexuality can take time Labels can be confusing. It's okay to not have a label, and it's okay to have one. At the end of the day, it does not matter, and don't let anyone make you feel like it does. Its your decision. You can explore your thoughts and feelings regarding sexual orientation and labelling with one of our amazing listeners using this link: 7cups.com/BrowseListeners Thank you for reaching out!
Related Questions: Why am I always concerned about what my sexual orientation is?
How do I come out as nonbinary?I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm transgender?Is there any chats/groups/forums specifically for Transgender teens 18 and under?What does it mean to be Queer? I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?How do I come out to my parents?How to deal with falling in love for your best (and straight) friend?How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?Hi. I’ve had trouble with my family lately. My mom says she supports me-being an enby but won’t call me by my pronouns. And got angry at me now I’m in trouble. Please help?