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Brenda King, PsyD
Psychologist
I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.
Top Rated Answers
Try to relax and distract yourself. I usually start crying when I'm deep in thoughts about something that makes me sad, but I'm often able to control my feelings when I don't bother too much about these thoughts. However, I don't find it embarrassing to cry in public. Even though I'm male, I cried a couple of times in public.
Personally, I bite down on my tongue or lip, or scratch my arm with my nails. This redirects attention to a sudden sharp physical pain rather than focusing on what's upsetting you. Also, I find that putting a conscious effort into relaxing my jaw and throat really helps, though I'm not entirely sure on this one.
i personally count to ten and take deep breath and think what can i do? can i change anything? if no then i worry less and if yes i act to change
Find a private area(toilet or something),put a cloth/bag or something at you mouth,scream your lungs out!
Become fully aware of the surge of emotion as it comes over you. Embrace the surge and let it wash over you. Don't do any justifying in your head, don't think about it, feel it. Try not to fear the outcome of letting it all out in Public, sometimes we have to cry, but if you can accept that fact it will most likely subside before it gets out of your control. Accept the emotion, no matter how uncomfortable or negative and fully experience, it won't be able to build if you watch it.
Anonymous
September 28th, 2015 8:40pm
Take a deep breath, avoid eye contact, count to ten, close your eyes. Re-open, forget and move on until you're home where you can face it.
Focus on your breathing, move your eyes to control your tears, distract yourself with a physical movement, take a sip of water, and think about something that will need your absolute focus.
I think it is very hard to avoid crying or breaking down in public, one sometimes can't control it. First we gotta remember it is not a sign of weakness. However, i would go to the toilet and then come back.
Actually using the same techniques that I use to help with panic attacks, which are: to look for 5 trees, 4 cars, 3 buildings, 2 lamps and 1 flag( it doesn't necessarily have to be these things, these are just examples: just that same order), deep breathing( breathing in 7 seconds, holding 8 seconds, breathing out 7 seconds, holding 8 seconds, and repeating) and finally, like the first method, finding 5 things to focus, only this time things like focusing on what it feels like under your feet, finding anywhere on your body that feels hot or cold, what your hands feel like, just sensory things like that.
If you feel a surge of emotion try looking out for an isolated place or a friend who can support you at that time. If you are in a meeting, excuse yourself for a while and come back when you feel you can face them again. Try having control over your emotions and maintain boundaries with others so that no one tries to hurt you again.
First, it's okay to cry in public sometime. I understand you don't want to though. You can excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to cry there, if you really feel like you have to and it will help you, or you'll just stay there for a little while to calm yourself. I think that's the best option.
Try to disctract yourself. Start thinking positively - about something that makes you really happy.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2015 9:11pm
I try focusing on an object. I'll stare at it with wide opened eyes. If the tears are still coming I'll laugh it off while looking at my phone so people think those are tears of joy.
clench your fists and think happy thoughts to make you think less about crying, but its completely okay to lose it too, if you do just run to the nearest bathroom
Anonymous
May 8th, 2018 1:16am
Have something to fidget with at all times. This helps take your mind of the situation. Alternatively, think of something happy to distract you. (the patronus rule :) )
You can try to think of some happy thoughts or distract yourself if possible, like talking to someone, etc. If that becomes to difficult, then you could go somewhere private and let it all out. Everyone has their days.
Take a deep breathe and tell yourself it's okay, or try to find a secluded space to let it all out, tell yourself its okay, sometimes we need to
I've always taken deep breaths and stepping away from the situation that makes you feel that way. There are many other ways but this is what I do!
Anonymous
October 27th, 2015 10:29pm
It is important to keep your mind strong wherever you go. Think of the things that make you happy and always move on with a purpose!
I usually think about something else.. like kittens or puppies..
I personally won't! If am emotion is meant to flow and be felt it should be. In case you really want to avoid it, hold it inside yourself and lash out inside a safe place, public bathroom or your home. Feeling emotions is very important because it allows you to be whole, to teach that emotion that it lives inside you, inside all of us. We are whole but at the same time we are nothing. If you feel like you are going to lose it in public, maybe take a few deep breaths and try to reflect on what could happen if you did that.
Firstly it's absolutely okay to cry. There is nothing wrong with it. We all do it, it's only normal. However some of us don't feel comfortable crying in public. For which in my experience helps if you drink some thing and maybe have a video or a funny story saved on your phone or something that you could watch and/or read to make yourself a bit more relaxed.
This is a big one for me to be honest. I always try my hardest not to cry in public even when im standing alone embarrassingly. One time I walked outside to catch a breathe of air before I had a complete melt down inside which sorta helped. I would just try to keep a "i'm okay face" on the outside while having a melt down inside.
Sometimes our feelings can overwhelm is in unwanted palaces. For me personally I have a safe environment where I can lose it and break down into a good cry. Knowing I have that place keeps me hanging in there until I can get to it.
I am struggling with that as well. I have not conquered it or anything yet but with all the research and personal experience, here are some things that have helped me in not completely embarrassing myself in public by crying.
Although I know crying is not bad but I cry for no reason or just the smallest reason ever. So, here's what I do:
1. Always keep a water bottle, drink lots of water
2. Keep something to eat, I prefer chocolates (easy to carry and really tasty)
3. Start typing or writing or remembering something nice or funny as soon as you feel like crying.
4. Go away from the place for a while not physically but mentally like think of a happy place.
And overall just know that it's okay to cry in public. It's normal, well for me it is. :p
Anonymous
July 26th, 2016 9:26am
You shouldn't avoid crying. There is a time for crying, a time for being happy. You should cry in public if you need to cry. People will have their opinions of you and they may laugh. However, you have to just own your actions regardless of peoples opinion.
Crying or loosing it as you call it can stem from two possible explanations- either it's social anxiety where you find yourself wondering whether you are being scrutinised for all your actions or second you are going through a phase which has left you vulnerable and the minute you find the trigger it kind of takes you back the memory lane. Take a stock of which of these reasons are more apt and if it's social anxiety you need to take baby steps in winning it. If it more to do with something that happened recently you need to identify the triggers and then consciously attempt to detach your self from those triggers. Hope this helps
You can always give yourself some space. Like excusing yourself and going to the toilet or anywhere that you deem to be private to let your emotions flow.
first of all,you need to calm down, stop anything you do for a while and just calm down and you can do something to prevent yourself from crying :
1. Physical movement
a. Focus on your breathing
b.move your eyes to control your tears
c.distract yourself with physical movement (e.g squeezing, etc)
d.relax facial expression
2.Changing focus
a.change your focus
b.think of something funny
and you can also secretly dry your tears or remove yourself from current situation
Anonymous
August 18th, 2015 11:05pm
Sometimes I get the urge to cry or "lose it" in public from thinking of past events, personal issues or even just reaching my breaking point. But what helps me is I take a deep breath in and while I'm doing so I count to five in my head. When releasing my breath, I count to five again. Then I think of several positive things that make me happy. Then once again, I do the breathing process.
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