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If I talk to a therapist about it, will they make me confront my abuser?

35 Answers
Last Updated: 09/07/2021 at 4:44pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Monique Bivins, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.

Top Rated Answers
September 29th, 2014 8:59pm
No, they shouldn't. Therapists, in particular those who work with abuse, understand that confronting your abuser can make things worse. Their job is to support you, not to put you in situations where your wellbeing is at risk. If you wish to confront your abuser, they will support you in that, but they will not make you do so against your wish.
October 5th, 2014 12:02am
Your therapist will never do anything that you are not comfortable with. It is all up to what you feel you can do and what you cant do.
October 24th, 2014 2:08am
No one can MAKE you do anything, they might suggest that you do but then again maybe not. Each therapist is different, but ultimately they are there to help you and will not put you in an unsafe position
October 25th, 2014 10:55pm
Sometimes a therapist will want you to confront your abuser, but only if they think it will help you. However, they will not force you to do anything you don't want to.
November 1st, 2014 12:33pm
A therapist will never force you into an action that you are not ready to take ..... they are there to help guide you through your issues ... You should always feel able to open up to a therapist and if they try to make you do something you are not ready for, they will likely damage any help or trust they've already built up with you. Please be assured, therapists are there to help you , not hurt you.
November 11th, 2014 2:20am
No they will not. It would go against the privacy that you have with your therapist. Your therapist will help you to overcome the issues that you are struggling with and help you to move forward. They will not bring your abuser into this.
November 16th, 2014 8:39pm
No therapist should ever try make you do anything ! Especially confront your abuser most would advice against it so you don't put yourself in a situation to be reabused by them
September 12th, 2014 2:24am
A therapist will (or should) never make you do anything you don't feel comfortable with. They should be there to help you find the right path for you, not force you to do what they think you should do.
September 29th, 2014 5:01pm
Your therapist cannot make you do anything unless you express intent to cause serious physical harm to you or others. The process of overcoming abuse can involve figurative confrontation but very rarely do therapists ever encourage you to go out and seek your abuser to confront them. Therapy is about YOU and making YOU feel better, so more than likely your physician will choose a path that will be the most comfortable and helpful to your journey.
October 12th, 2014 5:08pm
My therapist NEVER made me confront my abuser. She made me write in journals (which I kept to myself) and it helped so much. I have not gone back to read them, but every time I write in a journal, I feel so much better about myself and about my past problems.
October 25th, 2014 7:20pm
No! As long as you have told someone else about it already. They will never force you to do anything that you don't want to.
October 26th, 2014 5:36pm
In any case. The therapist will help you to get over it, not to recall that memory. Don't hesitate to visit one. I am sure that they will help you
October 27th, 2014 6:57am
They will make you focus on yourself instead of the external environment/ people related to your problems. That's what matters the most anyway :)
October 27th, 2014 3:17pm
I don't think they will. Tell your therapist you're not comfortable with confrontation and that you just need someone to talk to. Make sure they know you're adamant about not confronting the abuser.
October 29th, 2014 1:20pm
No they will not. A therapist will not make you do anything besides discuss your feelings and emotions. Confronting your abuser could potentially put you in more danger, if a therapist feels like you are in danger they will take matters into their own hands by telling the police, you don't have to do a thing.
October 31st, 2014 1:10pm
Some therapist may ask if you want to confront your abuser as part of the healing process but in most cases no, because it would cause more harm to you. Now mental they will ask you to confront your abuser because it is part of coming to closure with what has happened to you and giving you better tools to deal with the situations in the future. All of it is done when you are ready to let it happen.
November 2nd, 2014 1:11am
No. They will help you come to a place where hopefully you'll be able to. They will help you confront yourself, and how to leave the situation. A therapist cannot make you do anything you are not comfortable with.
November 5th, 2014 9:20pm
Not necessarily, they will generally work with you to identify what course of action will help you to personally move forward from your experience. Sometimes this can take the form of confrontation, but not always. Your solutions will be tailored to your experiences/ desires for the future/ and needs for closure.
November 8th, 2014 12:26pm
Talking to a therapist is probably the best thing to do when you want to confront your abuser. Please reach out for help when you need too.
November 10th, 2014 5:11am
The therapist is there for you. You won't be put in a situation that could be a potential danger or where you feel highly uncomfortable.
November 14th, 2014 11:18am
A therapist will never make you do anything you don't want to do, and generally, they will not make you confront an abuser on your own because they can't anticipate how your abuser will react or guarantee your safety. Generally a therapist will give you the resources to ensure your safety, such as contact info for a battered women's shelter or a contact at the police department who can help you get a restraining order. If they feel that intervention is necessary, which is very rare, they will have the abuser and you present in their office so they can mediate. But since they cannot guarantee your safer outside of the office, they generally will not do this.
November 18th, 2014 6:54am
It depends on the situation, really. If they feel it necessary to confront the abuser based on your own feelings on it, then they may give you the option to confront them. Otherwise, I don't think so.
April 15th, 2015 9:46pm
A therapist would never MAKE you confront your abuser. They would only assist you if you chose to confront your abuser. However, in the US if you're under 18, they are required to report any abuse to authorities. So keep that in mind. However, if you're older and the abuse is current, they will help you find ways to manage the situation or help you get out of the situation if you desire.
April 25th, 2015 8:18am
A therapist will never make you do anything that you are not comfortable with. They are there to help you through what you are going through.
May 30th, 2015 12:28am
Absolutely not! That is no part of therapy for people who have been abused, since that would not help you and could be unsafe. They will do what is best for you!
May 9th, 2016 7:24am
No,I'm sure your therapist will completely understand your situation and do what's best to help you out.
August 10th, 2016 5:50pm
A good therapist will never make you do something that makes you uncomfortable. If you want to confront your abuser, the therapist will help you find a way to do that. If you don't want to do that, the therapist will also help you find a way to heal from the abuse. Good luck, friend.
January 24th, 2017 4:55am
Absolutely not. Your therapeutic experience should make you feel safe. It is critical that you feel confident that you can share those powerful emotions without being fearful or subjected to additional abuse. If you are a minor or in danger, you will be supported as he or she finds the best way to help you if the abuse is ongoing.
February 16th, 2017 2:41pm
They wouldn't do that. It's unethical and harmful to you under most circumstances. I wouldn't want to be thrust back into a room with the; with the control dyanimics and everything else, it sounds petrifying. That decision would be up to you.
May 8th, 2017 2:46pm
No, they will not make you do anything. They are just there to help you with your problems and make you feel better