Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
247 Answers
Moderated by Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Updated: May 29, 2022
Anonymous
on
Jul 20, 2016
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I have felt hopeless in this world before. I told myself if I shamed myself into submission I would motivated, I wasn't. While suicide was off of the table, I still didn't want to do anything. To feel hopeful I ended up just watching YouTube videos, reading hyperbole and a half about 40 times, and painting. Some days were better than others.
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Anonymous
on
Oct 6, 2016
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Please remember that happiness comes from within. You can’t find happiness in others before finding in yourself what makes you happy. Learn to love yourself, understand yourself before you learn to love others. You will have heartbreaks, professional setbacks, unfulfilled dreams, or worse. When you understand that disappointment is part of the life equation, your recovery time will be much faster. Please remember that we have less time than you really think we do. Every moment counts so stop planning and start doing. Stop leaving things for tomorrow, for next year. Make this moment count.
SimplyBeing
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Jul 20, 2016
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For me, the shortest path to hope was to find gratitude for the things already in my life. Even simple things or perhaps especially simple things like being alive, safe and well fed. Access to a computer and a caring community like 7cups. Gratitude is a practice meaning that it is something we have to work on daily. I thought the gratitude journal was a silly idea until I committed to completing on for a week. Then I began to see the benefits in my attitude. Gratitude has a direct and measurable impact on depression and even in the brain. It seems it is just not possible to be hopeless and grateful at the same time. I hope this helps. I wish you peace. ~J
lyn26
on
Dec 23, 2017
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Your Gonna Be Okay! God is watching over you. In the end everything is going to be okay and if its not Okay Its not the end! I LOVE you! Stay strong!
BronyDice
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Nov 9, 2016
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Keep trying to take care of yourself and do the things that you can. Don't compare yourself to others or beat yourself up. Life won't always be this messed up, I promise. Try to take the baby steps you can to help yourself in this rough time and try to find patience if you can.
Anonymous
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Jul 25, 2018
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There is a lot to answer there, so I'll focus on one important thing that jumps out at me.
How we use language is related to our thoughts. I see right away that you may have established a pattern of what is called "all or nothing" thinking.
When you say "Everything in my life is messed up." intellectually you know that that is simply not true. However - your mind and body takes it in as true and responds accordingly. I recommend a therapist who could help you catch those thoughts and reframe them.
awesomeSunset88
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Mar 15, 2017
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When there are several issues at play, it's easy to feel paralyzed and accomplish nothing. Figure out what the BIGGEST problem is, or the problem that seems to be the root of more than one problem, and work on that. Understand that will power doesn't exist, and plan and repetition to change a habit at a time is all you can really do.
Anonymous
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Apr 12, 2018
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Calm down inside your head. There will never be any perfect, ideal situation in life, accept it. Now, to understand why you should live, ask what you would do if there is no obstacle and no mess and no fears? Pick tiniest version of that thing, for e.g. if you wanna be a writer, write just one line today- and do that often. That will make you feel satisfied, happy and you will look forward to it. The problems will come and go as you are focused on creating something new rather than fixing the broken parts.
Cheers.
Anonymous
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Jul 31, 2016
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When so much stuff goes wrong, it can really feel like you are going against the flow, and I personally find it tempting to just go limp and let the tide carry me downstream. However, the relief of giving up is only temporary and can be very costly in many ways.
It's brilliant that you've reached out for help. Perhaps longer term support, such as a good counsellor or listener, might help you to cope with the emotional aspect of the challenges you face - It's good to have a place for a relief.
There's innumerable ways to make progress and to give yourself hope in the process. Some ways will work for you and others not; If something you read or hear doesn't always work for you, please don't let that defeat you. Personally, in recovery from depression I have used many practical and emotional approaches to problems, and some of these I still use today.
Here's my two cents worth: Have you tried using short-term AND long-term goals together? The long term goals could be things such as getting a job interview, learning a new skill, or even completing a game. Short-term goals can be things which contribute towards this, such as improving your CV, buying a book about a skill, or completing one level of a game. Short term goals can also be unrelated to long-term goals. Completing even easy goals can be a little morale boost for yourself. Try to take the time to really appreciate what you've done, before you look at what's next. When you tick off short term goals, it can feel nice. When you tick of the long term goals, it can feel REALLY nice!
To help with this, try to look after yourself physically with diet, exercise, and sleep; Through my own experience and what I read, these really help to balance emotions out so you can feel the rewards of your successes. It's not all or nothing - even doing a little towards these is helpful.
Hope this has been a little help and good luck with your journey!
Anonymous
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Aug 12, 2016
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Do something you love...draw..paint..meditate..be with people who makes you happy...help a stranger...smile daily...make yourself a schedule of happy cheerful things & keep yourself motivated by reading motivational quotes and spread around all the people you love be the positive vibes 🌹
SoulHealing
on
Aug 11, 2017
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First, life is short and we all meant to die anyway. But we are here with a purpose. You have to search for your inspiration and way of life. We all have one
Melody293
on
Aug 4, 2016
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Feel hopeful because things can get better. Things can always get better. And if your lacking motivation to live, find pleasure in the little things. Appreciate the beauty of flowers and the happiness in laughter. You can't experience those if you aren't here. Look for beauty in the pavement you walk on top of, and the sky you walk under. Seek love in the embrace of your family and in the smiles of lovers. Their are so many things you need to be here for, and that you won't want to miss out on.
Neverend1ngLake
on
May 14, 2017
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When things go wrong, it's easy to forget everything good that has happened to us and we may feel hopeless. I suggest taking a moment, maybe a day to take a step back and reflect on life. Going on a walk is always helpful to make us realize that there is more to the world than the bubbles we live in sometimes. We can use this time to remember the good times we had, and also to plan more things we want to do. Focusing on our future can be encouraging. Even if some don't turn out the way we expect, the experience we gain is invaluable! In the end, life is not about getting it always right, but about trying and learning.
Anonymous
on
Jul 21, 2018
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Honestly this was tough for me too but the best way for me to feel hopeful is to stop trying to feel hopeful~ It feels useless when you do something to feel hopeful and it doesnt work so just do what makes you happy.
Anonymous
on
Apr 27, 2018
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Become disciplined. Work out a schedule. Work out a timeline and make things progress the way you want it to.
Motivation is great and can be a catalyst to help you produce and gain the things you want.
Discipline is to sustain the behavior or practice because you know its meaningful and worthwhile.
I suppose my answer is, understand that Motivation may be temporary, but Discipline is good for the long term. And I suppose this can give you hope knowing that you can improve things by being hopeful and genuinely believing that you're actions will push you in the right direction :)
Anonymous
on
May 26, 2018
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Whenever you feel hopeless or stuck, list 10 things your grateful for. It can be form your health to a favourite drink or location, friends, family, smells, games. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of the good in life.
CarpetLovesU
on
Jul 28, 2016
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You have already made it.
shoshho
on
Jul 29, 2016
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oh! that is one terrible spot to be in, but it's a spot on the map and we all have to take the circuit. It's best if you force yourself to move one and carry on, learn from the past and let go, prepare in the present, make your own schedules, stop doing things that make you feel guilty and aim for the future :)
GentleWaves
on
Jul 30, 2016
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I can relate to the feeling... I would suggest to start working on a very small bit at a time... regaining hope and feeling successful with a first step of undoing the mess to create something that corresponds more to our wishes might give the energy to continue with other goals in other domains. Seeking support for a start ight be the first step itself
serpentsxspell
on
Aug 2, 2018
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I would suggest making an appointment with a doctor to be referred to a therapist. Sometimes changing thought habits can change our lives.

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