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My daughter is struggling with her sexual identity. Any advice on how to support her?

Profile: WhitneysSafeSpace
WhitneysSafeSpace on May 29, 2015
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Just from this, I would say you're already doing it. Let her know that you want to be there for her and support her in whatever she does and however she identifys. You may also consider finding and showing her a few resources that may be able to help her, including 7 Cups of Tea!
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Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Sep 16, 2015
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One of the hardest parts of finding your sexual identity is fear of not being loved or accepted. Telling her that you'll love her no matter what and that you're there for her can be really helpful. Also, taking time to learn about sexual orientations and how it feels to be part of the LGBTQ community can be really supportive, so you know what your child is going through:)
Profile: erenflowers
erenflowers on Apr 16, 2016
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Finding out your identity and orientation is difficult, frustrating, and confusing for a lot of people. Stress of being rejected is common, and sometimes stress of disownment. The most you can do is to be there for her, make sure she knows you are alright with whatever she finds herself to be, and continue to love her and stick up for her. The rest, she needs to figure out on her own.
Profile: LadyCee
LadyCee on Jun 14, 2016
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Don't put too much pressure on her. Give her space if she asks for it, && time too if she asks for it. Be there for her if that's what she wants. But most importantlyy, let her find herself. Don't be a kind of influence in that process. Good luck to her :) .
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Ask her how she is doing on figuring it out, maybe ask her any questions she's been having and help her research them. And the best thing to do is ask her how she wants you to help
Profile: AcaciaTree555
AcaciaTree555 on Mar 28, 2017
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My biggest piece of advice here would be to let your child know, in no uncertain terms, that they are loved unconditionally. Be there if they need to talk and try to listen non-judgmentally without giving advice that has not been asked for. If your child has requested that you use different pronouns or a different name, respect that choice and try to make sure others in the family do as well (if you have permission to share that information). The biggest challenge for LGBTQ* folks coming out is the fear that they will be rejected or judged so anything you can do to make sure they do not feel that way will be helpful.
Profile: lovingTree37
lovingTree37 on Apr 2, 2018
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Just support her whatever. If one day she says she's gay then say that's fine but if she changes her mind then thats also fine don't pressure her to label it if she doesn't want to
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Mar 5, 2018
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First off, unconditional love. Authentically show that you're in full support of wherever she falls on the spectrum. Second, don't pressure her into finding an identity. Sexuality is a huge range and she may not ever adhere to a label. As long as she's happy with herself, it doesn't matter. Third, resources. Because it's such a huge range there's a lot to explore and learn. I suggest You look into Pflag. A very helpful group that can answer your specific questions.
Profile: Aayla
Aayla on Jun 10, 2019
LGBTQ+ Issues Expert
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Congratulations on being an awesome and supportive parent! The most important thing is to let her know she can talk about it with you, sometimes just talking helps to see things more clearly. Don't try to make assumptions and find an answer for her, just validate her feelings, show empathy, make her feel accepted and loved. Try to learn as much as you can about sexuality, so you can answer possible questions and help her with her doubts or if she doesn't know a name for what she feels. Point her to good sources on the topic, including but not limited to 7Cups Wiki about LGBTQ+. Encourage her to take her time to analyze her feelings and emotions. Be there for her, but also give her space. Ultimately, just do whatever you wish someone did for you if you were in her situation!
Profile: caringBerry61
caringBerry61 on May 22, 2018
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Supporting people, whatever their challenges are, needs to give up the idea of controlling others because we don't like their lifestyle or the choices they make. So the best way to support who we really care for is truly listening to them, practising the greatest loving-kindness towards them and never judge them: in one sentence, telling them: "Whatever you do or will become, the door of my heart is open to you - which basically means "I will accept you exactly as you are. Unconditionally".
Profile: Randy1
Randy1 on Apr 8, 2015
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You do exactly that. Support her. If she wants to see a professional, arrange that if at all possible. If she wants to read books on the subject, get those for her. Good for you for wanting to support her, but it sounds like you have the willingness, which is probably the most important thing you can have to help your daughter.
Profile: QueerMaddie
QueerMaddie on May 30, 2015
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Letting her know that you're there and supportive of the community is the most you can do. Pressuring her to come out to you can be harmful, as much as you might want her to.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jun 29, 2015
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Tell her that you will be completely accepting of whatever she says she is. That's really all anyone struggling with their identity wants: acceptance.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 13, 2015
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It not the best to give advice because it can be used to cause harm to your self or others. But I cane link you to a sit that is very helpful. http://www.lifeway.com/Article/sexuality-parenting-The-struggle-for-sexual-identity , just take the time to do some reading and learn about your daughters issue and support her
Profile: mik31299
mik31299 on Sep 19, 2015
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Giving her the room she needs to figure it out for herself is a good start but also at the same time making sure you're there for her when she's ready to come to you with questions and things of that nature. There are many support sites for parents where they can get answers to more difficult questions that they might be thinking and give ways to really support them.
Profile: itsfranziskaaaa
itsfranziskaaaa on Nov 3, 2015
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Always tell her that you will stand with her no matter what, and no matter what she tells you, never make her feel bad about it. Also if she gets a girlfriend or a boyfriend try to be as supportive as you can. Kids will look up to their parents so if you are strong about it, then so will she
Profile: Emmastylinson21
Emmastylinson21 on Nov 18, 2015
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I would just let her know that you are here for her and you love/support her with what ever she is. Also maybe let her know that labels aren't that important, that she should just experience attraction freely and worry about what to call it later.
Profile: GraceKH
GraceKH on Nov 20, 2015
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Your daughter is probably going through a very difficult time right now and the best thing you can do as a parent is just be there and support her through the choices and decisions she makes. She may get it wrong, but having your support would make it so much easier for her.
Profile: Ginieboops
Ginieboops on Nov 20, 2015
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Letting her know you will always be there for her no matter who she chooses to love is one of the most important things; enforcing this mentality is important to. Also let her know that there's no rush to put a label on things and sexuality is fluid and always changing: every one is entitled to all the time they need working something like this out. Don't discourage experimentation, allow her to talk about them if she is comfortable using active listening allowing her to find her own answers so she truly understands her self. It could also help if you find all forms of sexuality (from asexual, pan sexual to swapo sexual).
Profile: Euphoria17
Euphoria17 on Nov 22, 2015
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It is normal for anyone to struggle when it comes to that subject. If you want to support her just be there for her and listen to her, tell her that it is okay to be lost and with time she'll know what her sexual orientation is. She doesn't need to rush things out. When she finds out what she really is just show her that it is okay and thag you will love her no matter what her sexual orientation is.
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