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Planisphere102
3,397 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts80 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2023 Member sinceMay 4, 2018
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About to flee my home
General Support / by Planisphere102
Last post
 August 12th, 2023
...See more Basically my roommate has gotten rather hostile as of late and uses her boyfriend to sort of do this tag team aggression via text lately. They apparently can’t seem to do face-to face discussion for some reason.( I did try to ask and they both sent a barrage of texts that made bo sense so i stopped responding). Things aren’t the best and I don’t have that much money but a couple of days i go i made plans to finally leave this toxic environment. Book a uhaul and a free one month storage unit (yay!) and i walso went on a social services calling spree. Like no joke i have 3 pages of numbers. I called almost every state and city resource i could find. Was gonna do some lacking but the stress from all this has got me sick. I guess what i’m trying to say is that, although i have a plan and have some backup resources i’m still scared i’m going to be on the street. I can’t help but envision the worst outcome and i’m a chronic worrier (diagnosed with depression and anxiety so this ordeal has been absolutely great for my mental health lol). I just want to be okay. And i feel rather unconfident that i’ll make it okay. This wouldn’t be the only tough time i’ve gone through but still. I never know how to quite handle these things on my own(i have but i feel like i fly by the seat of my pants). What should i say or think to myself to make me believe i can get through this crisis? I keep having visions of me sitting in the middle of downtown at 3 am with my backpack not knowing where to go. If anybody has some positive words that would be nice.
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Roommie is passive aggressive
General Support / by Planisphere102
Last post
 June 21st, 2023
...See more So i’ve been rooming with a friend (idt i can call her one now lol). Things have gone down hill for me in terms of being laid off and then having my dad die. I am now i guess what they call an orphan as mom died 9 years ago. I’m not perfect but i can hold mysef accountmost timea but lately she’s been leaving notes all over the place and using her boyfriend to confront me. I’m starting to get tired of it bc she hides but will use other people as attack dogs. I’ve stopped trying to confront her after she had her boyfriend dress me down like i’m some low ranked private in the marines almost (he’s in the army). I’m also tired of her blaming me for when things blow up in her face, like how does someone almost getting their can repossessed bc of $900 in unpaid car notes is somehow my fault.. I don’t think she knows how to be friends and she’s always complained about not having any, but now i see why….Any other advice except moving out? I found some boxes and am putting some stuff together. I have tried to talk to her in the past but she becomes evasive and i no longer want to be intimidated by having to talk to a man instead of her. Patience is non existent as i have tried. I have been dismissed, ignored, and patronized when i attempt to speak up. Time to pack my bags i guess?
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Exhaustion
Grief & Loss / by Planisphere102
Last post
 May 21st, 2023
...See more So I now have no parents. My Mom died a couple years back in may and now my dad has just died a week ago. Both of their Birthdays were also in may and both died before they could celebrate them (literally missed it by a couple of days for both of them) my dad was literally 3 days away from his bday which unfortunately coincided with Mother’s Day. I got through this week somehow but i still have to get pass my mom’s bday for next week.I will forever hate this entire month. I feel so exhausted i can hardly move. I don’t know what to do with myself besides sleep. Is this normal? I almost wish all of these painful reminders weren’t condensed in one month……….
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Started putting up boundaries and i feel anxious
Anxiety Support / by Planisphere102
Last post
 April 26th, 2023
...See more I’m a people pleaser to the point where i’ll put up with being miserable as long as I don’t have to deal with angry reactions. But i have reached my limit especially with the current situation i have with a roommate. I have done everything this girl has asked under the guise of what i thought was friendship but i’ve reached my limit. We both live here but she always issuing orders or telling me to pay for stuff that she and her boyfriend buy and don’t tell me until after the fact and i’m getting sick of it. So i finally reached my limit and told her in a text (she’s asleep) in a direct but a non-aggressive way that i feel this is unfair. I’m not used to standing up for myself so i feel almost sort of sick (i have GAD). Is it supposed to feel like this if you’ve always been silent? Honesty feel like a pressure cooker rn but saying something is letting the steam out a lil. Idk anything anymore.
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Resentment
Depression Support / by Planisphere102
Last post
 March 27th, 2023
...See more Kinda resentful towards a lot of people in my life but i realize it’s my own fault bc i hate confrontation. I’ve been pushing down what i feel has been unfair and just swallowing anger and now it’s gotten to a point where anything certain ppl say i immediately feel myself getting irritated. The problem is tho when i have tried to confront them i’ve ended up getting the evasive maneuvers and then sometimes i end up with their partners berating me instead of having a conversation and frankly i’m over it. Maybe that’s where most of the resentment comes from i’m treated as a nobody worth listening to so i’ve stopped talking bc i feel like it’s useless. I’m tired of agreeing to keep the peace. Kinda feel trapped bc i feel like i’m censoring myself but also i know they aren’t going to listen to me because they always feel they are right no matter what. I plain my meek personality. Sometimes i think if i were aggressive and loud things would be a bit different, but i’m not that and i sort of despise those types of people. But they seem to always get their way in the end. Idek anymore i might as well be mute if I can’t share how i feel.
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I’m tired of trying…
Depression Support / by Planisphere102
Last post
 March 15th, 2023
...See more I did everything i was told do to in order to prepare me for the real world when I graduated. All of that turned out to be a lie. Two degrees and nothing to show for it but a wide range of rejected job applications. My finances are in the gutter and I have so much debt. I keep bouncing from one temp job to another. Literally got cut from one temp job a couple of weeks ago so things are once again dire. I’m not close to my family and my friends live hundreds miles away and have their own lives. I did everything I possibly could to avoid where i am now and i still managed to screw up. I honestly wish i could’ve have traded places with my mom when she died of cancer. I’m just taking up space in this world with nothing to show for it. I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I so tired of ppl telling me things get better when they don’t. I’m burnt out from trying to do my best and it’s never enough. I’m so damn tired living.
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