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babydrivervolkswagen
20,769 M Progress Road 10
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts442 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 10, 2019
Recent forum posts
Am I still in honeymoon faze??
Trauma Support / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 September 25th, 2020
...See more Hi, I used to be in an abusive relationship a couple of years ago and i still have a hard time with it because im pretty sure i never fully got out of the honeymoon faze even when i left. Idk just something in me at one point just said GET OUT OF THERE NOW and i didnt understand it but i did it which im glad i did but i still dont understand it. Its so confusing for me, how did it go so wrong? I dont really understand it its like i see 2 different people when i think about it. The abusive and the fairytale of a man that i saw. And so its very confusing to me how those 2 could exist at the same time?? Please let me know if any of you understand this or have advice or have gone through this yourself
My current questions
Self-Harm Recovery / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 June 29th, 2020
...See more Does forcing yourself to masturbate when u really dont want to a form of self h*rm? And could id come from an experience of sexual abuse ?
Was I r*ped?
Trauma Support / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 July 3rd, 2020
...See more For a few years i have been constantly been having dreams where i am suddenly raped. Ive also had major fear of intimacy with men. I get super afraid that they will be too rough or force things i dont want. When the guy i like stares at me very passionately i start to panic and get overwhelmed by fear that he might push on a wall and force himself on me even though i know he would never do that. My mom mentioned yesterday possibly having me examined by a doctor to see if something physical did happen down there because i dont remember. But i do know that there is something that happened to me in the last few years that i dont remember but im not sure what it was. Idk how to feel and i feel really alone about it and i really just want to know what happened to me.
What do ya'll think?
Anxiety Support / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 April 4th, 2019
...See more So ive been having a really hard time lately, i have been trying to fight my generalized anxiety and social anxiety which is caused by my major fear of making mistakes, making the wrong decision, or the things i do not being perfect in fear of someone abusing me again. I talked to a few listeners and they said it sounds like ptsd and it makes more sense to me then what i thought i was. Also fighting it makes it worse and more sensative, i have flashbacks and stuff too btw but idk how often. What do yall think? I feel pretty alone with this and i cant see a theropist till the 24 i would wait till to talk about it but i jus feel alone and have no one to talk to.
He's back
Trauma Support / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 February 16th, 2019
...See more So 3 years ago i was abused. It started 4 years ago and then i finally left him after it had gone on for a year but i just start to heal around summer and almost start to actually move on and then he shows up at my church last week. And went to my church previously thats how we met but i had been hearing from people that hes been wanting to come back to the church regularly and i know him and how he is so trust me when i say im going to be seeing him more often aka twise a week. Ever sense i saw him last week it just messed me up. I was wondering if anyone has any advice or strategies that can help to deal with seeing him cuz i cant avoid the situation sadly. But if theres anything that you guys know that could help at all please let me know.
Recovery & chest pain
Eating Disorder Support / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 February 11th, 2019
...See more So im about a month in at my second try at recovery an this time ive been having this bad chest pain when i eat or drink a lot of the times and the more i eat or drink the worse it gets. It feels like its in my heart and im not sure if thats normal (well obviously none of this is normal but you know what i mean). I did research an according to some experiments a lot of people with anorexia report having chest pain an suposuvely are at risk for coronary heart disease which tbh is a lil scary to think about. I jus dont know if im alone in feeling this idk but please let me know if any of you have experienced the same thing.
Im stuck
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by babydrivervolkswagen
Last post
 February 6th, 2019
...See more So im gay but i want to be straight or bi at least cuz my religion marriage is between man an a woman which is ok i choose my religion an this is my faith and i want to have a family an i want to get married to a man but i also want to be gay an want to be with a woman really bad an idk if i could still fall inlove with a man cuz u know sexuality is a spectrum so im probably like 97% gay so i could still marry a man an be happy... right?? I dont know i could jus be single my whole life an i think i can live with that i love being alone so i think i can be happy that way too i jus really want kids an i probably wont get to have any and that makes me really sad. Also im getting to that age where all my family members are talking about when ima get a boyfriend all the time(im not fully out yet) an it jus reminds me of my situation an makes me sad. I think its also worse rn to deal with cuz im still a teen and hormones. Does anyone have any advice or anything that could help me cope or get through this or something??
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