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sonnieeee
1 1,434 M Little Steps 5
here to take life one day at a time
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts262 Forum posts77 Forum upvotes194 Current upvotes194 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceFebruary 2, 2026
Bio

Hey hey! My name is Sonnie and I live on the East Coast.

I genuinely enjoy horror movies.

My focus right now is balancing relationships, work stress, life demands, and school.



Recent forum posts
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/:
Depression Support / by sonnieeee
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I am not trying to go back to how I use to be in relationships but I feel like somebody is trying to tear me down. I use to be really mean and bitter at one point in my life, then I got with my current partner and my attitude changed, he actually helped me to see things through but as of lately I can feel myself regressing back to being really mean out of total annoyance towards his circumstances. We were supposed to be together last Tuesday, but his mom needed him. I barely talked to him from Tuesday until now. I’ve sent countless texts, a voice note, everything - still nothing, and, he knows this hurts me because we had a talk about it last weekend. I don’t have any friends to vent to anymore because I’ve been with him for so long, he actually got frustrated that I’ve been talking to male friends as well. I have therapy on Wednesday because I need my session right now. He knows it hurts when he goes days without talking to me and then pops back up without acknowledging anything I’ve text him or said. It’s really draining my mental health. I know some would say leave but it’s not that easy, I have to wait for my lease to be up in order to move which would be July. I don’t really have nobody aside from him that actually comes over to check on me. I’ve asked my grandpa multiple times and he doesn’t. I feel very stuck right now and as bad as I want to block him or even just act as if he doesn’t exist at times, it just doesn’t feel that easy to do so.
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A rant.
Depression Support / by sonnieeee
Last post
 October 26th
...See more Sometimes I really just don’t like my life. All year long I’ve been trying to make things better, which they have improved but if I’m being totally honest there’s things about my life I really can’t stand. I feel a serious sense of imposter syndrome most days because I find myself pretending to be alright with everything even when I’m actually not. It seems that I always have to fake it to make it and it’s a form of survival. If I don’t pretend to be okay then I can’t pay my bills, if I don’t pay my bills then I get evicted. The pretending every day has gotten so hard lately, especially with the death of my cat. Yesterday, I took my anxiety medicine to help take the edge off of everything but today I’m waking up feeling very weak. I’m supposed to go to church today but to be honest that feels overstimulating to me because the last three days have been very hard. I haven’t been wanting to spend time around the church community because it seems that people are fake and judgmental on the low - even if they don’t say it. I find more solstice in being alone but I have a very extroverted job. To be honest, I just decided that I’m not going to church because I really don’t feel like being bothered although I’m supposed to be filling in for someone because we support kids. Emotionally, I just don’t have a lot of capacity for too much else. I know today will be overstimulating because they’re going to be celebrating people leaving the church, which one man I feel happy that he’s leaving so I don’t feel like pretending to be down with everyone else. I actually feel a deep sense of relief that he’s gone because he made me feel negative on the inside and I think it’s because he doesn’t have himself together. I hate to cancel my church attendance today /: but it’s what it is. I have to remember that I am grieving and I have to take things slowly instead of rushing through so much just to be there.
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Active lifestyle and more anxiety
Anxiety Support / by sonnieeee
Last post
 October 24th
...See more I know I’m losing weight because my anxiety has been on 10 😵‍💫 when I was not active my anxiety was nowhere to be found, but now that I actually move a lot, spend all day outside of the house and eat better my anxiety is h o r r i b l e. I also find it hard to maintain a workout routine because of anxiety, like as soon as I start running on a regular basis my anxiety is back to a million. Having anxiety my whole life has been so crippling on certain levels 🙁 I don’t know what to do because I know I need to workout but the anxiety of working out is not bad. I really don’t want to take SSRI or always have to take hydroxyzine, thoughts?
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Thank you 7 Cups Family
7 Cups Online Therapy / by sonnieeee
Last post
 June 24th
...See more In the last few months I’ve had some really hard days and I’m happy that I’ve been able to use 7 cups as a place to vent, get some mental health support and start working on things that matter to me. I’ve been on here venting about a lot and it has felt good to get a lot off of my chest. Lately, I’ve been in my journal - offline, venting. But, I have still been passing 7 cups out to different people as a resource. I’m really glad that I chose to come here because I needed this space to start hearing my self, healing, and thinking through hard emotions with others. It has been truly rewarding and although I am not on here as much as I was I’m very grateful. As I read through my journals from the last few months I see a woman who is changing. I’m really proud of myself because my health assessment showed that my depression and anxiety has went down. I see a woman who is becoming more mindful of her relationships, fighting for peace, and wants to feel joy. It has been nice getting down in the trenches within the last few months to keep learning, growing, and showing up for myself. I am happy that I placed one foot in front of the other to start healing myself. One thing that went well: realizing that I have grown emotionally and have been taking control over my happiness all over again.
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Restoration
Family & Caregivers / by sonnieeee
Last post
 June 2nd
...See more I got into a really bad family argument on Saturday, those relationships are fine but the relationship with the person who is supposed to be my significant other is not. I was so angry, I said a lot of bad words and mean things to him that I feel bad about, but some of it needed to be said because I genuinely don't feel like he treats me fairly. I've been praying on things, and today is Wednesday. I did apologize for my nasty words, but I don't feel bad for the message because nobody gets to leech my energy and then go be with other people, meanwhile, I'm home minding my business not doing a single thing wrong. So, I feel good for getting things off of my chest, but I feel bad that it had to get that ugly. I do feel like my strength is being restored, feeling as weak as I did when I got sick wasn't fun. I was so weak because I had so much on my heart and a lot of stress, stress management is key and apart of that is not carrying a lot of negativity and working on my heart so things aren't a burden. Not proud of how I did it, but I'm proud it happened so I can take better care of myself, physically.
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...still avoiding family drama
Family & Caregivers / by sonnieeee
Last post
 May 19th
...See more I went through a journal crisis where I was trying to figure out the perfect journal to write in because journaling in the mornings and writing out my feelings helps with being able to manage my mood. When I start the day off going straight into work I feel very stressed out because it gives me anxiety that I can’t think about my feelings first thing in the morning but I’m expected to churn out so much work.  It took a while to figure out a journal situation that is reliable - but I decided that I’m going to rely on the notes app on my Mac and phone to help with thinking through my feelings. On March 24th I wrote a prompt on 7 Cups expressing how I’ve been avoiding family gatherings to protect my energy and peace. I’m still doing that and I do feel better. I read this quote online that said, “may you have the courage to disappoint people who profit from your self-abandonment” by We The Urban. I have been praying to God for more strength to make decisions that are supportive to me and not feel guilty or bad for what the outcomes are. I think I am doing a little bit better because I can feel my stress levels coming down, however, there are some social situations that causes my anxiety to rise.  For example, yesterday morning I woke up feeling inspired because I wanted to read Under the Dome, HP Lovecraft and Dracula but I was interrupted by my cousin's negativity. She called me trying to see if I was going to go to my aunt’s birthday dinner, the truth was that I was drained and very tired so I decided against it. She said to me that I always have an excuse as to why I can’t do something and that’s why people don’t invite me places. Well, I wanted to be with my aunt on Thursday night - I told her to have K call me — K never called so I forgot all about it. It’s hard to be engaged with family when they don’t include me, naturally. Certain relationships shouldn’t feel forced or like I have to maintain them alone.  It’s the fact that I wanted to read my books on a Sunday and I couldn’t because of the negativity that was thrown up on me. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she hung up on me, I wanted to yell at her and scream but I chose not to because all last week I yelled at people. I yelled at three people last week and I didn’t want to yell on a Sunday morning. I’m really trying to decrease my social stress and I don’t want to deal with people who are negative this week. This week, I want to be calm, focus on my work days without thinking about family drama because some people keep things going on all the time and don’t have any understanding.  I feel really hurt that I’ve never done anything to my aunts or cousins however I’m always being treated badly. I can’t make people love me and I’m tired of the ongoing drama from day to day. I’ve really done well with throwing the towel in on *** given towards things like keeping a job that keeps leading with fear. I’m tired of people wanting me to go go go every single day but can’t check on me when I’m sick or make sure I’m alright. I’m doing better with self protection but I still have a long way to go. I’m tired of always having to explain, explain, explain a lot to people who barely care to listen. I have way more energy than I’ve had in the past so I’m starting to deal with things better just because my headspace is way better, but I still feel like I can do without certain relationships. 
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On continuing to ignore family
Family & Caregivers / by sonnieeee
Last post
 September 3rd
...See more So lately, I have been rejecting a lot of "family" time because I don't like the drama and don't have the emotional capacity to deal with everything. I'm not trying to come off as bitter or anything, but my love life is not the best. My boyfriend is in a depression right now trying to avoid prison and focusing on managing his finances better so he can remain free but his family is making him feel down. My mom seems to have this view that "everything is perfect" but maybe it is to her but it isn't to me. Being with a partner who is dealing with their mental health while also battling your own is tough. My sisters are having children, I'm the only female that hasn't and I keep getting asked questions about when I am, but the reality is that I don't feel comfortable doing so until I have enough money because right now I'm living check to check and my boyfriend isn't in the financial position to take care of me and his child like that. I asked him about having a child next year and he said that wouldn't be bad, but I don't want to make a decision because it's what others are doing - I really want to make sure I'm in the headspace.  I really been avoiding a lot of family things because my siblings annoy me. Their happiness is almost as if I should be happy too and it's simply not the case. Again, I probably sound bitter, but right now in my life my focus isn't on a child - it's on getting through school so my boyfriend and I can be comfortable because right now we aren't. I really have been avoiding family gatherings - like last weekend my step sister had a baby shower and I didn't go. I don't know if my mom went or not but I'm tired of her too. My mom doesn't show up for me but she does everything for her husband and her marriage. She made a comment stating that she wasn't coming to visit me but she was going to be with my grandfather when she comes to my state - very hurtful seeing as though I moved and you still haven't came by to see my place.  Overall, I'm really just venting because I need to get things off of my chest and this is an emotion I deal with often - not trying to come across as bitter. I may just be bitter, but at this point if I am I really don't care because I have so much on my plate and I have to do things according to what is just and responsibly. 
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A little better
Depression Support / by sonnieeee
Last post
 March 15th
...See more Lately, I've been feeling a little bit better. I've been doing some things differently to help my mood. First, I've been going to bed at 10 PM every night, although I was up early, at least having a set bed time schedule helps with improving my mood. Then, I've been doing really well with waking up and reading my bible, having some positive verses to meditate on helps with feeling supported, I read a lot of verses in the morning because they really feed my spirit. Next, I spend time on ***, going through different communities: it has felt good to connect with more likeminded people. I use to feel like people would judge me for posting a lot, but I've been enjoying the community and engagement that the app has brought to my life. It felt really positive to say good morning to so many people today and just see others being up at 5 AM with increased positivity and wanting to engage with each other. Also, I've been drinking two cups of cappuccino in the morning to help boost my energy more. This has really added to my day because I don't feel half as sluggish and I feel that I have more energy.  I'm really trying to work on building my mental and emotional resilience, it has its days but it's getting better. When my boyfriend texts me good morning it means a lot to me, he adds to my day as well. I'm trying to work on my energy in all ways, even by walking more on my treadmill, this is all easier said than done but I'm trying to chase the feeling of being inspired - so far, I think I'm doing better than what I was. 
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