35+ Community Check-in January 25-28, 2021
Hello everyone in the beautiful 35+ community. I hope you’re having a wonderful day.
Dealing with conflict situations 
Maybe you can’t change another person’s thoughts, but you can control your attitude, you can control the effort you put into resolving a conflict, and you can control whether you view the situation as an opportunity to learn something important.
Something that can be very helpful is simply making a list of the things you can and cannot control about the situation.
What advice would you give someone that helped yourself how to deal with a conflict situation?
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Things really suck the last several days. I feel like it's me against the world with no one in my corner. I try hard at life but I'm always failing and stuck in my same situation.
@Gypsyhearted911
Hugs Gypsyhearted911, it seems that you feel lost and that's truly a rough place to be. We are here for you
. Do you think it could help you to connect to a listener for a 1:1 chat to talk a bit more in detail about what's going on in your life? I feel just sharing with someone can already lift the burden a bit.
What advice would you give someone that helped yourself how to deal with a conflict situation?
As a writer, I journal my feelings.
I also write out many after possiblities with the conflict. . . . outcomes if you choose a certain way.
I also trying to write to pull myself a way so i'm not emotional while trying to figure out a solution
@Rebekahwriter13
I like your idea about writing down different possibilities with the conflict, it can put a light on something that might not be so obvious in the first instance.
I try to give perspective. It usually works.
@DutchMike
I agree Mike, looking out of different windows gives different views.
Get some psychological distance from the situation: read books, watch videos, immerse yourself in something else. Throw yourself into a passion, a hobby, something that brings you alive.
@VidyaFord
Great ideas! Having something which brings you alive again is really important.
Journaling is a good way to let the noise out of the head and get some perspective. Work out is a great way to let the steam off. Often times I find meditation helps.
@Tam88
When you're pumped up with negative engery from a conflict it's sooooo good to let the steam out with a great workout.
@amiablePeace77
What advice would you give someone that helped yourself how to deal with a conflict situation?
I have awlays wrote my feelings down because I feel my words come better on paper. it also helps me see where I need to work on.
@pamharley003
Nice that writing down your feelings gives you that awareness so you can work on it.
Hi @amiablePeace77
What advice would you give someone that helped yourself how to deal with a conflict situation?
● I would take a step back to calm myself and take time to think over about the situation.
● Try to see it from their point of view, because I believe there is always a reason/s that motivate someone and that reason/s are valid for them.
● Admit our part of the faults and apologize for that part. I believe there is no absolute right and absolute wrong when a conflict arise.
Love this thinking prompt post Ami <3
@ouiCherie
Those are great points! I fully agree to there are no absolute right and absolute wrong when a conflict arise, it's a matter from what point of view one sees it and what seemed to be wrong can appear "right" when we step into the other person's shoes.
My conflict is with myself. I should challenge myself to a duel. Someone will win
@HappyDucky8
You seem to be very aware of yourself which is the foundation for change. I find when we love ourselves, care for us , inner conflicts get easier to solve.
Well today is two years since my son's mother passed away. He still hasn't come to terms with it. I can't get him to talk to anyone to help him work through it.
I’m so sorry to hear this, my gut aches for you and him. Have you taken time away from normal surroundings?
@enigmaticTurtle6554
No, for me it was a normal day. For him he could not make it to school.
@TheDude0156
I am sorry for the loss you and your son had. It must feel helpless seeing your son suffering so much and not being able to do anything which makes him feel better. Sometimes all you can do is to be there for him. May I ask how old he is?
@amiablePeace77
He is 15
@TheDude0156
15 is a difficult age to me, there are so many challenges they have to face, internal and external. Do you think coming to this site could be helpful for him?
I don't think so but I can suggest it.
@TheDude0156
Ssometimes younger people connect easier with same age. Wish you both the best.
Going through a tough time since my boyfriend broke up with me. It’s been three months and still greatly hurt 😞 I feel as if I’m never going to get past this hurt 😢
The pain will end. We can’t see in the moment and I know it can feel unbearable but just take each day as it comes and soon you will be at peace.
@mm33
Big hugs mm33, breakups can be so hard and it can take a while to heal, it's a loss you suffered and your heart needs healing. Please be very kind and gentle with yourself in this hard time and always remember that we are here for you to talk.