Married but lonely
@KAL1588
Have you tried speaking to your spouse?
I'm sorry that you are not in a good place at the moment 🩷
Perfect advice
@KAL1588
you are not alone... what is the disconnect between you?
I have lived this way for a while, and it is awful. i have tried many things with no success but i hope you can communicate with spouse and get back to where the conversation flows, and you feel like you are with a best friend again.
@toughTiger6481 have trued everything been going on for 5 years she has cancer but uses as crouch doesn’t let me get close to her want to just set in chair smoke cigarettes anytime I try ends in fight and of course it my fault have never cheated even though I’m in deep place can’t see live without her but can’t keep living like this never get out of house so don’t have many friends that why I’m here just tired of flushtion and fighting to old to start over so just out of roads to take
@gentleTiger2949
I am hearing you and it is a very hard situation.
I lived it and understood it now the disconnect is below what we see on the surface. My partner has been a jerk and literally ignored me or was not picking me. I felt alone sitting in same room with them.
What I did not see was he was stressed beyond belief felt like he was failing was worried about money and his getting older.
Now after reading about cancer, I would imagine all the feelings about health and future. I get it sometimes people when ill wallow in their situation and lash out. I is not about how good of a spouse you are.
I know it makes no sense but sometimes spouses take it out on us closest to them. They do not see it in the moment how do I know because I had a year after an injury, I was unbearable to live with too. My spouse put up with a lot ... and even knowing what I did to them. I did not recognize it when it was done to me... we are still working on it.
@KAL1588
I am brah! Let's find a way out of that gloom together!
Yes. Many women are on this category. If you have kids, you can still push it up for the sake of the kids.
@Temdel
Maybe many women are in this category because they keep hearing variations of "suppress your needs for the sake of the kids"? Maybe for the sake of the kids, encouraging parents to break the chain by valuing their feelings and needs, will result in kids that grow up understanding their own feelings and needs and so won't experience the loneliness of their parents?
I believe we do kids a big disservice if we attempt to pretend everything is OK when it's not. My experience is that kids are way more intelligent than that and know and learn from what their parents are hiding.
But that's just my opinion. There's lots of ways to raise kids and I'm not sure anyone really knows the "right" way, certainly not me.
My dear, am in this category. I couldn't leave cause of my kids, I don't have a job or support anywhere. I want my kids to have education leaving will be setback for them. Without Job I can't give them education. Any woman that have the means to care for her kids can take the decision cause loneliness is not good thing in human life. It drains your energy.
I’m in same position. I moved cities after marriage as he is from different city to my hometown.
Very. Lonely.
4 years in. Still no friendships.
@wittyTurtle8055
No friendships between whom?
@KAL1588
I know I went through a period of this when I was still married, and I was told several times it was pretty normal. I think a lot of us do. Sometimes it can come from not knowing who we are as a singular person anymore. We're just this...partnership. This other half of something. This "so and so's spouse" or "so and so's Mom/Dad" but who are we, really? Who is KAL1588? What do they like to do? What are their favorite things? Do they have hobbies, friends, pursuits that are separate from the marriage?
@TovaCares76
Excellent note, brah
I am in the same boat. Extreme loneliness..I have two daughters. The day I got married he told me I never wanted to get married to you .it was my parents who forced me to marry you . It's been 8 years...I tried to adjust in a loveless marriage...i couldn't forgive my own self for being a burden in his life...i know he resents me.. i know his family resents choosing me..with all this pain he blames me that I am not good enough for him...so does his family..so in a joint family of 10 people I am all alone ..the only silver lining are my children whom I know I am not being fair because anything I do I seen in negative...
I am financially independent but emotionally so dependent on him and his family..I have noone else to call a family...even if they don't need me ..I have no other option.. divorce is not possible in my case for the way I was brought up ..I dread thinking how my life will be if i leave this family...so yes I am unhappy but surviving
@KAL1588 Maybe finding a time to deeply connect and talk would be helpful. Also, exploring new hobbies to enrich your life can be a great way to support yourself when your spouse is busy. Sending you warmth! 🤍
I m 46 single man I hate loneliness I wish to find new real friends
I m 46 single man I hate loneliness I wish to find new real friends
