Cheri’s Connection Corner - Empty Nesters Transition

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

UPDATED TAGLIST 8/28/2023

1st part

@00WHY00 @1Marg1 @24963534 @24Help1 @4Rainbow42 @5catsandme @8Khaleesi8 @allen99 @ArinDee @Actuallynobody017 @adaptableOcean4193 @adventurousBranch3786 @adventurousSugar1991 @affableowl5126 @affectionateCat9553 @affectionatePear7889 @agreeablestrawberries1285 @ahaller @ahds2k @ahel58 @akbj @AKmarshmallow @Aksabode @alan254 @alanapiana1970 @alleywood13 @amanda @ambitiousNectarine1482 @Amelia2324 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmiYumi @amusingcranberry1537 @AmusingJet302 @anderly @andy @Angelface50 @AnnieIsMe @aquaCake3636 @ARIBA5 @Artemis13579 @AshcloudMac @Aspace4u @Awesomesummer1628 @ayeyaeyaaaaaaaa @azureblueheron @azuladragon34 @Baby1120 @ballooningSloth @BaltimoreSpring @bamafan96 @Barltik2065 @Beanno @beautifulsoul @becausepuppies @Beck @becknit @beachyone @believing777 @berta0322 @Bestmaple2045 @bestplum1189 @betheileen @better2Bbrave @beverlianne @bigalt21 @Billyjoe9717 @bimmernizer @BirdsWhoWrite @bisketties @bklnstar @BLSD2021 @bluebell34 @BlueEyes1819 @blueOrange6725 @BlueSky0708 @Bluesky1964 @bluevelvet3 @Blugreg @bogartfan @bouncyBeach42 @BookishWendy @bouncyVoice4149 @breezyoctopus @brightChestnut3152 @BrightSugar1923 @bubblePomegranate7179 @BurdensDown @cafelatte46 @cal1860 @CaliforniaViv @calmblueocean @calmVase7032 @Cammiecat @CandyBubblegumSprinkles @carefreeheart57 @CarefulGrapes590 @carefulsailboat231 @carelady @caringone1004 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @CaringSharon @carscarey @casey90 @cathy @catlady @catmandu @caughtinthemiddle @Cazzy8752 @Cheerie @chickadee123 @Chro411924 @CHT @CintaBali @classylady521 @Cliffg747 @coach411 @Communicativepenny8383 @CompassionateLand2815 @Confused7461 @convivialCake8989 @ConvivialFriend9402 @Cookiecrumbles7079 @CoriF @courageousCoconut7282 @CourageousDaisy1111 @CourageousSpring2022 @courteousLime9432 @CreativeYard1702 @crimsonShade6782 @CtownMimi @ctw1237 @Cubby2020 @curiousbutterfly77 @currentwise @cyanBirch4288 @CyclingThroughLife @DanaMH @DancingJoy811 @dapperPond2037 @Dave94305 @debbiehun @decisivetangerine2856 @decisiveBanana1981 @DeeGold @determinedNectarine9383 @dillon8524 @DinaElwy @diofono @diplomaticoak9588 @discreetMelon5938 @discreettriangle87 @DiscretOcean7936 @doginashirt @dolphinlver @Doodles7 @duces @ecstaticlght @einarsgirl @elderfarm @Electric100 @ElizabethGiovi @EmbStitcher33 @empathicForest15 @Emptynest2020 @endearingLion70 @Enthusiasticnest1089 @equinox56 @Eva66 @Every1ahome @ExDesertScapegoat @exuberantAvocado5095 @fairmindedStrawberries7429 @Faithfulapple2400 @faithlove1111 @Favor2020 @favour @FlowerLily23 @FoolsSelf @forcefulFriend4768 @forcefulStrings1005 @forcefulWriter32 @forko23 @Freeskier @friendly10 @friendlyCat50 @fromthetent81 @frothyMagic6772 @FusionX33 @GabbyGee @Gabriellegahnsuksah @Gale1032 @galfromaway @gardenyarn @generousBalloon786 @gentleEast4230 @gentleLand5245 @GiftedEmpath3 @goldilocks1041 @goodmelon8247 @goodYard1477 @gracefulDay3692 @GrammatoBoys @Grandma1 @GrandmaLolly @Gramma2FnM @Grammy23 @Greenpear036 @greenSummer1236 @gregariousKiwi9594 @gregariousZebra21 @guitarman087 @Gwen1963 @GypsyRed @HaloCompany88 @Heather2020 @helloBike4402 @hellopusher @helloTalker8798 @honestPeach5447 @Hotaru419 @hounddog2021 @HY00 @iamroni @Iamwhoiamwhoami @icedcoffee211109 @IHDW1982 @ihtak @impartialDrum1848 @indigolilly1500 @indigoMoon1246 @innerLove @introvertedextrovert2122 @intuitiveBunny8426 @intuitiveFriend1097 @Irene2552 @IWuzADuck @JackKost @jackrock @japanesegardengirl @jazzgtr @Jim @jlmouranet @jillwings7@JolivetteListens @JoniGirl @Judecat42W1370

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

2nd Part Taglist

@junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @lelahni @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @Maka10 @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Melliemel1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @nippycat @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @powerfulMaple1852 @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @RogueOne1983 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @stilltrying126 @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

• How do you prepare for the empty nest phase, and what are some common emotions you are feeling when your child leaves home? I celebrated my freedom at first. Let my child take anything she wanted to move out to her new home.
• I actually wanted to celebrate and help her get her new home set up.
• What are some of the potential challenges you faced in adjusting to an empty nest, and how did you navigate these challenges? Nobody to talk and laugh with. Nobody to run errors. No go do person anymore. Nobody to make wash the dishes or clean up the house. Now, everything would be my job to do. That kind of did not set well. Now I had no one to do what I said or wanted them to. She would be her own boss and keeper. Then I felt the brunt of the empty nest.
• Are there any positive aspects to the empty nest phase such as newfound freedom or opportunities for personal growth, and how can you make the most of this period? There are always positives to most things but for me learning to step back and let her make mistakes and not interfere or try to rescue her was my biggest problem. I did not want to see her make bad choices that would come back and bite her.
• Big lesson, stand back let them get the scrapes and scares they will learn better lessons that are lasting❤️

I don't want to sound like I don't like my kids because I love them all, I have had 4 leave home and can't wait for the last one (he's 15) to go....lol....I think the thing that helped me throughout was that they all went one at a time, so I was basically never without if that makes sense.....with the last one at 15, he basically comes and goes as he pleases(within parental reasoning of course)....between sports, school and his social life, he's rarely here anyway and I'm getting used to the alone time at home with my girlfriend....I'm actually looking forward to it, if that makes sense....

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

• How do you prepare for the empty nest phase, and what are some common emotions you are feeling when your child leave home? I cried when my daughter went off to college. I did start writing poetry and that helped me get accomodated to the change.
• What are some of the potential challenges you faced in adjusting to an empty nest, and how did you navigate these challenges? Relationships based on taking care of the kids can change and one needs to reinvent and rejuvenate relationships especially if there are pre-existing problems.
• Are there any positive aspects to the empty nest phase such as newfound freedom or opportunities for personal growth, and how can you make the most of this period? I think one can step out of the role as parent and start exploring one's meaning and purpose in life. It is a whole new life if one lets go. Otherwise there can be lots of sadness.

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

I don't think you can fully prepare when your child leaves home. When they first go to college it's hard, but then they come home for summer. It's when they leave and you know they aren't coming back that it hits really hard. The house is always a little emptier. They're gone, their stuff is gone.

It's a matter of keeping yourself busy, getting out of the house, and remember to focus on your own needs and future.

Tagging. @Emmat62.

Sorry, newbie here...how do I find the latest in this thread and /or join/participate?

So, both of my kids left the nest (mostly) within three months of each other. The younger one, we see sometimes, as they return home on some weekends. The other one moved to another location for a job. I keep reminding myself that both being out of our home to "try their wings" is a good thing - it means we did our job as parents and our kids have the confidence and emotional intelligence to explore, learn, and grow. But - it's still heartbreaking for us, even as it is giving us "room" to do new things that we otherwise would not with having a full house most of the time.

Yes, we have Messenger, WhatsApp, etc., but it's not the same. Also, our animals are very upset and listless, still searching for their "people" (our kids were very close with our animals). My and my partner's lives are very much in transition this year, at most levels, and this all came together this year in a "perfect storm" of midlife stress and challenges.

Not sure if there is a "Sandwich Generation" thread here, but if not - our relatives are all around 80 years old, with multiple health issues (including some kind of dementia), and trying to manage our kids being "gone" and our relatives needing much more support (when our health isn't so great either) has felt like an avalanche, to be honest.

I'm not looking for answers, so much as just venting into a quiet space - and wondering if others here have or are experiencing similar. Thanks.

For me, I think the best thing I can do for my kids is to help prepare them to be independent adults. I always imagined I would be thrilled to see my kids embark on this journey, the freedoms of independence, etc etc., like I would live this vicarious experience through their experiences. 

Now I have 1 kid in college and one in high school and it is a bittersweet thing. I am thrilled when my kids demonstrate their independence and really start to develop into their own unique beings. Yet at the same time I feel this selfish desire to hold them close. Sooo... when college kid comes home for the holidays, I am hoping that he'll enjoy spending time with his local friends but also bake cookies with me. My younger kid will have Christmas break as well and I hope to do some fun stuff with him as well. I just want to be a good parent, support  my kids, and have a great relationship with them.