50+ community Weekend Check-in July 24-26, 2020
Hello everyone in the 50+ community, I hope youre all doing well and wish you a wonderful weekend 
WHEN DID YOU LOVE YOURSELF MOST AND HOW DID YOU GET THERE?
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@amiablePeace77, When I was in my early 20s, I did everything I could to improve my mental health and it worked pretty good. I was far from perfect, but I eliminated anything within my power that made me mad, sad, upset, angry, unhealthy, basically anything bad for me. I focused on bettering myself as much as I could and not taking crap. I was happy for a brief time in my life.
@purpleTree4652 that sounds like a wonderful period of your life. You really did a lot of work back then that may only now be coming to fruition.
WHEN DID YOU LOVE YOURSELF MOST AND HOW DID YOU GET THERE?
Probably that was when I was a film student at SIU (Southern Illinois University). That was 30 years ago, though. I was able to accomplish something, earn a B.A. degree. I wrote good term papers, I think, and got good grades. There's little else I've done right since then.
@WharfRat thanks for sharing your work in the university. It sounds like that work was near and dear to your heart.
Also the workplace does not usually pat us on the back so they do not encourage and build self esteem. Plus we have been shown to have instincts that are 3 times more likely to focus on negative events than the positive. Thinking how wonderful the hammock you made is not good when being stalked by a tiger. So we need to help grow the positive we have done by expressing gratitude for whatever we can. Maybe we need to open our mind to new ways of thinking and see that there were some positive parts of some of the things we judge now to have been unsuccessful.
For example I have a friend I help rehabilitate and it has not always been easy and in fact been frustrating. Often I struggled with anger, but I have kept trying to see the half of the glass that is full. I have slowly been developing patience and kindness. It has changed my relationship from a test to a confidence builder in my ability to deal with adversity.
@WharfRat
Why are you so hard on yourself?
Love Helga.
@Helgafy I haven't gotten anything right. I lost my friends, my jobs, I was too cowardly and/or lazy to try to reach my goals. I'm old now and not well and have nothing to show for my life. I feel like a leech on my family.
@WharfRat
Again beloved, you are very hard on yourself. I'm a Christian and can't hide that in my writing. GOD LOVES YOU! I translated a poem from Norwegian at this site; July 27.-30. I gave it to PurpleTree4652. I think it is good for you to read and meditate on. Besides from that - I can be your friend if you want me to. I'm 67 and have ME - a sickness that makes me being low in energy and staying in my home.
From my very heart to you - Helga.
WHEN DID YOU LOVE YOURSELF MOST AND HOW DID YOU GET THERE?
I think that when I loved myself most was when I was married. Everything worked better then, we almost never argued. I got there by loving her, taking care of her.
@Offmytrack thank you for sharing the joy of marriage. It sounds like a supportive relationship.
Sorry if you mentioning this is past tense means the marriage is no more. Sorry for the loss that must entail.
@soulsings Thank you for reading and replying to that. My wife passed away 10 years ago due to complications of her complications. I went through eight years of looking for someone, someone found me. We are very happy now.
@Offmytrack what a long struggle that must have been. Glad life is smiling on you now.
WHEN DID YOU LOVE YOURSELF MOST AND HOW DID YOU GET THERE?
Loving yourself is a real struggle a lot of the times but of course there has been moments in life when I have loved myself more than others.
However, the most selflive I probably felt during my year as an au-pair in Chicago. I believe having all these new friends and the love from the family I lived in actually made me feel loved. In feeling loved ny others I also started realizing it was okay to love yourself.
Have a nice weekend. Take care❤
@spectacularSunrise7824 that experience in Chicago sounds super special like you were really part of an actively loving family. That must have been an incredible experience.
Have a great weekend !
I think right now. It hasn't been any easy road to get here and I still have a long way to go. I feel as I fell down a hill and i'm crawling my way back.
@Goldcherry2113 sorry you fell down but so glad you are climbing back up the hill.
What did you learn from falling down the hill?
How has crawling up the hill increased your self-esteem and determination?
@soulsings That it's easy for me to fall. But yea My determination has gone up! I want to get back to where I was and get better but life keeps knocking me down.
@Goldcherry2113 feel free to reach out if you need a hand.
@amiablePeace77
When did I love myself the most and how did I get there....
I love myself a lot right now, which is pretty designated years of low self esteem and hate for myself.
How did I get to self love? I finally achieved sobriety and working recovery almost 4 years ago after 40+ years of drinking. Once I had some confidence in being sober, I tackled my weight and sugar consumption, and have been eating keto for almost 3 years and have gotten so much healthier and started running again. All huge accomplishments for me. I feel so much better physically. Am a work in progress mentally. 
@CourageousSassy, God bless you. Your achievements are remarkable! Congratulations on the sobriety.
@purpleTree4652
Thank you so much. It is a new world feeling proud.
@CourageousSassy
Wow, what a lifechange you've done. Amazingly positive and inspirational.
@spectacularSunrise7824
Thank you so much. It was very needed.
@CourageousSassy I agree with the others who posted your accomplishments are huge!
@CourageousSassy Thanks for sharing your success. I am assuming you are over 50 and perhaps over 60. It gives me hope that I might do this myself.
@swammi01, thank you!! I am 59!
@amiablePeace77
Interestingly, a couple of years ago a spiritual leader counseled me to learn to love myself. I've spent time and effort trying to figure out what this means. I don't think I could define it for you. But I feel like I am probably in the neighborhood today. I have let go of "should" (and sometimes even bristle when somebody utters that word at me) as motivation and stopped listening to it as a guiding voice. I choose what I will do, and own it. I also fully own choosing not to do other things, regardless of what others my think. I have embraced and am learning to master parts of myself that I had battled for decades believing they were "dirty," "evil," or even "dangerous." Even these past few months of being unemployed, I have been happy to simply be and to connect more deeply with the people I love.
I begin a new job tomorrow. It'll be the start of a new chapter in my life. It is likely the last time I will begin a new job in my current field (I am also attending school and training to change careers to something that I find more personally meaningful). I have no idea how tomorrow will turn out. I bring lots of (slightly rusty now!) skills, experience, and wisdom to the table. But I'm also bringing the inner peace, the quiet calm, and the love I have cultivated.
Perhaps the truest and most literal answer to the question is now. And I'm grateful for the question because discovering the answer is a very good realization for me.
@AdventurousSpirit123 good luck with things. Hoping for the best with you.
@AdventurousSpirit123, good luck with your new job
I'm still try to just love myself even a little. So I guess now is when I loved me the best. As for as how I got here; that would be with prayer and faith.
@Bethom2005
Nice to hear that prayer and faith help you to develop self love. I hope with time you will be able to increase it to enjoy both yourself and life more. Hugs.
@Bethom2005, I love that you used prayer and faith to get to loving yourself the most. God bless you, whoever or whatever your God may be.