National Tell A Joke Day

2nd Part Taglist

@junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @lelahni @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Melliemel1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @nippycat @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @RogueOne1983 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl

@amiablePeace77 how many listeners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but the light bulb really has to want to change!

@amiablePeace77

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this )

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics!

Mr. King, known as Joe by his friends, was taken by surprise that it was national joke day. He couldn’t come up with anything funny on the spot. “I can’t do it, I’m no comedian,” he thought to himself. “I’m no one special, I’m just me, Joe King.”

What do you call a cow with no legs?........ground beef

What do you call a deer with no eyes?......no eye deer

What do call a deer with no eyes that is not moving?.......still no eye deer

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear.....

@amiablePeace77

🍅 Why did the tomato turn red? 🍅

🥗 Because it saw the salad dressing! 🥗

A horse 🐎 walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Hey!”

The horse replies, “Sure.” 😁

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? - Because she kept running away from the ball! 😀

What did the dirt say to the rain? If you keep this up, my name will be mud! 😃

Who is next? 😊

MODERN ECONOMICS EXPLAINED WITH TWO COWS

(edited/abbreviated for 7Cups-Land. There may still be triggers here & there)

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, it yields much more milk & the economy grows. You eventually sell them and retire on the income.

Socialism: You have 2 cows. The state takes one and gives it to your neighbor who doesn't have a field to put it in.

Communism: You have two cows. You & your neighbors get together & vote on how much milk you are required to give them. You are allotted two teaspoons of milk per day.

American Corporatism: You have two cows. You sell one & force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot & block the roads because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You genetically engineer them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20x the milk. You then create a saccharine bovine cartoon character called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

Swiss Capitalism: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them & keep all storage & transaction records secret.

Italian Capitalism: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to break for lunch.

Modern Finance: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your friend at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company in Liechtenstein secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to contribute to the campaign of your preferred candidate for the presidency in the 2024 election, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

(I put too much effort into this.)