Were you surprised?
- Looking back at your life, what surprised you the most?
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I have only one child … should of had a bunch lol 😂😂😂
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful some people like one child and some like many.
What appeals to you about many children?
@soulsings
I wanted at least three or more. However, I gave birth to two and have 4 steps. I think that it is harder to raise a single child than a brood. You need diversity at home. I've noticed that the more siblings, the better socialized children were. Responsibilities towards older parents can be shared. All this changed when family control became available and large families became rare. Birth control has had a good impact on society, particularly women, of course, but this is the dark side of choice. Population hardly replaces itself in many countries and that pyramid becomes top-heavy.
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful awwww ❤ your very lucky to have one ❤❤ and nag that one child, for many grandkids😁😁😁
The closest thing to heaven is a child ❤❤
I'm amazed at how strong I've been. If you had told me I would make it through a series of very tough events, I would have thought you were a liar. But I made it.
@thoughtfulmomma yes you did ❤❤ you should be extremely proud of yourself ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@soulsings for someone who doesn't like unpredictability, I've done a lot of moving, changing, shifting, and reinventing myself. Having a safe Husband to do it all with is what I think has allowed me to be ok with all of it.
@HealingGriz awww! With your husband by your side, you can take on the world ❤ good for you ❤ and well done ❤
@soulsings the thing that surprised me the most is how big this world is. I mean there are thousands of different kinds of animals, so many wonderful people living all kinds of different lives, music, art ❤❤ the world is awsome, life is awsome ❤❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 yes it is amazing. The inner world that we cannot see with our physical eyes is amazing too. I appreciate your enthusiasm.
That I'm still alive, and ended up in a relationship with someone who at least tries their best to manage with me.
@OneErased I am glad you found a realtionship - that can help me feel better about myself.
@soulsings
Thanks. It's mainly just confusing to me, but I'm glad it's helped you at least.
@OneErased I reread my response and I meant to say glad you found a relationship that helps you. Just being with someone can reduce the loneliness and sadness I find.
@soulsings That I survived the first 30 yrs.
@Justmeasme I am always a little surprised when any nice thing happers.
That so many people could lie so much
No not really anymore i don't know whu
My biggest shock in my life was the separate living after 30 years of marriage. The divorce itself wasn't as shocking since it took years. It was the re-learning myself. But also learning the strength in me that was dormant, and the change I learned to not just like but also love. If my younger self knew that I would go through that, she wouldn't believe it. (But she would have been proud.)
@secretTriangle7438 divorce was extremely difficult for me. I had to let go of the exaggerated ideas of what I though marriage would be. Needless to say it did not turn out that way. I really had to reinvent my whole way of thinking.
How did you get through that?
@soulsings, I relied on mindfulness quite heavily at the start. I kept my goals small like a few hours a day were okay, then a day, then a week. It was years before it increased to a month at a time. I still feel like a rug is going to pulled out from under me. So I have to tell myself, you did it! You made it a day, a week, a month. You broke down big tasks into small ones. And you did those small ones! You have that ability. So if I stumble, I remind myself I can get back up. And eventually I do! No accomplishment is too small, I have to remind myself. And it's okay if I don't accomplish everything or if some things are not perhaps perfect or the best. Does that make sense?
@secretTriangle7438 I agree it is a constant keeping the goal in mind.
That I my husband would leave me. I would not have guessed that.
That I would have such difficulty finding a boyfriend after that. I thought because I am intelligent, sexy, adventurous, financially stable, and fun to be around, that I would attract all kinds of similar men. No. I don't.
That my kids would turn out to be so queer. It's fine that they are, but it surprised me.
@RedVineMaple sorry there were so many unexpected happenings.
My expectations of things turning out the way I anticipate usually blind me to what is happening in my life. They color everything I see with those expectations so I seem to be looking for those things to happen and do not notice other signs or do not interpret them correctly.
Needless to say life has totally surprised me and or shocked me. But I can change my expectations and that seems to help me accept change a little better.
@RedVineMaple It is very hard for an older woman to get a boyfriend. Men seem to go for younger, attractive women. But the real problem is that men die younger - from all causes - and that causes an imbalance in the sexes which gets worse as you get older.
I have a similar but different problem. After living in the closet for years, I finally came to accept that I was gay and wanted to live a gay lifestyle. No such luck! I have found very few women are interested so I now have to either live with men (which is not ideal) or live alone. Same problem as you, basically similar.