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Why are We hard on Ourselves as We grow older

User Profile: pamharley003
pamharley003 May 5th

We begin to grow hard on ourselves as we age because of a decline in our physical health, our social circle dwindling down, and the pyschological impact getting older has on us. We begin to be self-critical of things that happen in our lives and take it out on the one person we know better—OURSELVES. 

Being hard on ourselves stems from our upbringing in life, past trauma, and pressure from our societal pressures. It is a misguided coping mechanism. This mechanism drives you to perform daily, prevent any failures, protect yourself from criticism from others, and suffer from burnouts and anxiety.

Common self-criticisms:

Upbringing: Growing up with authority figures, our parents, grandparents, and teachers in school. 

Social and Cultural Pressure: Being brought up in the media and electronic era of life. the unrealistic expectations of how we should look, speak, and reach success in life. 

Misguided Motivation: the harsh ways we push ourselves to be better than others. Why we need to be better than others.

Mental Health Issues: Self-criticism can develop anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression.

How can you be less critical of yourself?


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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings May 5th

@pamharley003 How can you be less critical of yourself?

Ask myself the question: "What did I do right?"

1 reply

@soulsings
so true, we tend to forget this... like even if I didn't finished university I'm better than my family members in understanding how things work.

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I needed this, thank you 😀

1 reply
User Profile: pamharley003
pamharley003 OP May 5th

@reservedOwl321

Your welcome, I am glad it was made so you have it 

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User Profile: CalmRosebud
CalmRosebud May 6th

I like this graphic and prompt a lot. Thanks for posting it!

I sometimes tell myself: “Use what you have!”

User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 May 6th

@pamharley003

Patience.

Understanding.

Acceptance.

Listening to our bodies.

We are changing but that does not deflect from our value 🥰

@pamharley003
I'm slowly accepting I have to be my own self, for example not force myself to have a certain haircut bc I think others will appreciate it better. I got an Alain Delon cut just like my grand-father, I got west-african beads like my long distance ancestors with no name, but also connected to my birthplace in Africa. I might stand out bc of it where I currently am but I am who I am. 

User Profile: fossilfellow
fossilfellow May 9th

@pamharley003

Thank you so much for sharing 💖

I'm not perfect but I love myself for not giving up on myself ❤️

User Profile: AnandoBytes
AnandoBytes May 10th

@pamharley003 " In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few." - Shunryu Suzuki 

I think the key to contentment is our ability to transition back to a beginner. This is key to negate cognitive decline and helps us stay curious.