Let’s talk about porn addiction
Today, porn addiction is far more common than many might think. Yes, some people don’t see it as a problem. They enjoy it and don’t consider the consequences. But there are also many people who truly suffer because of it. People who want to stop. People who feel it's harming their health, their relationships, and their everyday life. And yet, this addiction is rarely talked about.
It’s still a strong taboo. When someone is addicted to porn, they’re often seen as someone who brought it on themselves, someone who "enjoys it" and "likes it too much." But is that really true?
In most cases, it’s not. Many people genuinely want to quit, but they’re too afraid to speak up. Why? Because porn addiction carries far more social stigma than many other addictions.
When someone struggling with alcoholism admits their problem and decides to make a change, they’re often met with respect, even admiration. But someone addicted to porn? They risk ridicule, judgment, and labels like “pervert” or “creep.” So instead, they stay silent. They suffer in silence. And they feel alone.
People often make jokes about porn addiction. They downplay it. But what they don’t realize is that someone on the other side might be genuinely suffering. This addiction is no less serious than any other. And anyone struggling with it deserves understanding, not shame.
So why does this addiction even happen? Often, it’s a secondary effect. People turn to porn for many reasons - sadness, loneliness, boredom, grief, depression... Behind every addiction, there’s a story. And that story is often more important than the addiction itself.
Porn addiction destroys people from the inside. It’s a silent, invisible monster. After years, you can see the toll alcohol takes on a person (on their face, their health,....). But with porn addiction, there’s nothing visible. On the outside, they may live a "normal" life. But inside, they’re suffering. They’re fighting. And they’re scared to say a word, even to hint at it.
Such people rarely find true understanding. So they stay quiet. They fight alone, in silence. But this kind of battle is incredibly hard and painful.
IF YOU ARE SOMEONE FACING THIS STRUGGLE - know that you’re not weird. You’re not broken. You’re not less. You are a human being battling something incredibly strong. Something many people don’t understand, but something that deeply affects your life.
And know this - you don’t have to fight it alone.
Yes, society still stigmatizes this topic and refuses to give it proper attention. But there are individuals who do understand. Who won’t judge you. Who will stand by you.
Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Your pain deserves attention. Your voice deserves to be heard.
You are someone fighting an addiction but that addiction does not define you.
You are not a pervert. You are wounded.
And wounds deserve healing, not shame.
Over the past few months, I’ve had conversations with several people about this topic. I’ve come to realize how hard it is to talk about and how many powerful and painful stories are often hidden behind it.
@Yulianaxxp
I agree completely, people need to be heard, to be understood, to be not judged, not to feel shame, as a listener Is be happy to do this but once the boundaries of respect were in place and this topic wasn't used to harass a listener!
Thank you for sharing 💕💜
@Amanda84
I agree with you. The boundaries should be set at the start of the conversation. Your comfort and safety always come first❤️
I can't even speak out. I've been dealing with it alone...
Thanks for this
@Wonderxoxo
And that’s the worst part, right? Having no one to talk to about it because it feels like no one will understand. No one will take it seriously… But hey! There are people who truly understand or are going through the same thing. You really don’t have to face this all alone. You’re not “weird” or “wrong.” You’re a warrior fighting your own battle. And that’s not “weird” or “funny.” It’s brave💪🏼
@Yulianaxxp....hii I am interested in talking to you
@greenNorth9725 just to know about it more because I think I am facing this
@greenNorth9725
Hey! Sure, you can hit me up with a message anytime you need to. I'll try my best to answer as soon as possible 🌺❤️
My husband struggles with this. I did not know about it when we got married (about to have 5 year anniversary) and just found out last year. I am someone who struggles a los with social anxiety and depression and I have my personality disorder as well, so when I found out it was not easy.. I caught him last week, he’s had a kind of a relapse and I feel horrible and I don’t really know what to do or how to feel. I get that it’s an addiction but it truly hurts me as well.
@NorthWindPath
Thank you for sharing this. This shows another side of the problem. Porn addiction doesn’t only affect the person struggling with it. It also deeply impacts those around them -family, kids, friends and especially partners. Your feelings are valid. You have every right to feel the way you do. You’re already dealing with so much (anxiety, depression and everything that comes with that), so finding out something like this from someone you love and live with must have been shocking and so hard to process. Yes, your husband is battling an addiction but that doesn’t mean you have to accept everything or ignore your own pain. Supporting someone in recovery is important but your mental health matters just as much. You are not a bad person for being hurt by this, not at all. Relapses do happen often and what matters is that a person doesn’t stay down but keeps trying to get back up. The fact that you understand it’s an addiction shows that you’re a caring, supportive person who loves her husband. But that doesn’t erase your pain and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge it. This is a sensitive issue that affects you both. Your husband isn’t fighting alone, you’re both fighting this together. And that’s why you also have the right to seek help and support for yourself❤️
Thanks for your reply
Just finished reading thru the thread and a lot of good insights and helpful comments. I am in the early stages of realizing how my sexual desires have become a thorn. I have been successful so far in learning to control my mind so that I can instantly turn off bad thoughts, etc and will continue to be vigilant in it.
The question I am posing is in regard to asking my spouse to provide me with visuals of her. Her concern is that as an addict it can lead to the next step. Which certainly has its merit. But does it necessarily have to be true. I'm looking for thoughts as to whether it is a universal rule that someone who has struggled with porn should not watch visuals of even their spouse, or is it a principle that depends on circumstances.
Very curious of your thoughts?
@ahava4
Thank you for sharing this. The fact that you have realized so many things, started working on them and are determined to keep going is amazing and I truly wish you strength in that.
As for your question- IN MY OPINION, your wife’s concerns are to some extent valid. However, it depends on many factors. Hypothetically, if you were addicted to porn, your mind might naturally start seeking other “more acceptable” ways of gratification. The problem is that in this way you might only move from one form of addiction to another. The key is to address the root of the problem.... why the addiction developed in the first place. If you only force yourself not to watch porn, your mind will look for new ways to get satisfaction.
There is a difference between porn and visuals of your wife. Porn involves strangers. Pics or similar things of your wife can actually strengthen your relationship and encourage intimacy between you. But if you want those visuals merely as a replacement for porn then it’s just the same addiction in a new form. Of course, this is only my hypothetical reflection... I don’t know you or your story.
What I do think is most important is open communication with your wife. Setting healthy boundaries, respecting both her concerns and your needs, as well as identifying triggers of addiction. If you truly want visuals of your wife, pay attention to whether it strengthens your relationship and intimacy or whether it becomes more of a “product” for your own gratification.
❤️
@YulianaxxpI'm sorry
I've been struggling with these thoughts from quite a long time.
To be honest I used to be one of the people who scoffed at addicts.
Turns out now I can relate to the "story" as you put it. And I can see now why sometimes people do go for these options.
It's honestly suffocating.
I've been struggling with these thoughts from quite a long time.
To be honest I used to be one of the people who scoffed at addicts.
Turns out now I can relate to the "story" as you put it. And I can see now why sometimes people do go for these options.
It's honestly suffocating.
@selfdisciplinedBlackberry2620
Yes, I understand you. Sometimes we might laugh at people who are going through something, we might not take it seriously, belittle them… It’s normal, it’s human, it’s a human weakness. It happens, it happens to me too… But only when we fall into their situation do we truly understand the other side. Only when we get the slap that we sometimes need. I’m sorry that you can relate to what I’m saying. Not because it’s ugly or wrong, but because it hurts. Because it’s hard to overcome and hard to live with. Yes, it’s suffocating. The fact that you’re here, trying to fight it, shows that you’re a strong person who, although got the slap, didn’t stay down. And that is admirable❤️
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that. I'll definetly work on improving myself
@Yulianaxxpcan we go back? If 7 cups didn't allow you, I think you know what to do
@Conflicts
Hey, look yes, unfortunately 7 cups doesn't allow me, and that was your decision. And I don't want to share private things here on a public forum. The point is, it's time for you to find a new listener. As I said, I don't contact people on different platforms. I wish you all the best
@YulianaxxpI don't want a new listener
@Conflicts then there's nothing i can do. I'm sorry for that
@Yulianaxxp fine, as you wish. I'll delete the app again, humans never helped me anyway
@Conflicts
I understand that you’re frustrated and disappointed. I truly wish you the best and hope you can get better, because you deserve that, just like anyone else. There’s not much more I can do at this point. You can be angry or disagree, but time has shown what’s possible between us🌷
@Yulianaxxpyou know what you can do but anyway, I don't like you anymore, you have destroyed my few good memories including the only friendship I thought I made, I won't forgive you and I don't forgive you for not getting out of my mind
@Conflicts
I hear your pain and anger and I’m sorry you feel this way. I’ve always tried to do my best and respect both your needs and my boundaries. I never wanted to hurt you, and I believe deep down you also know it. I cannot change your feelings against me but I still hope one day you’ll find the healing you deserve🌷
@Yulianaxxpshut up, just shut up, we both know that this is not you, so why you are still pretending to be that robotic formal listener with me? Now I believe more than ever that you intentionally trying to hurt me
@Conflicts anyway don't respond, just block me so we even this up
@Conflicts
I’ll not block you to "even this up". I respect you as a person and I'm not here to block anyone. I hope you can understand and take care of yourself
@Yulianaxxpno, you don't respect me as a person, you don't respect me at all, you treated me the same way other humans do, and you know what I mean
@Conflicts
We both know that's not true. I've always treated you the best I could and have never purposely done anything to hurt you. I do respect you as a person, and I've expressed my boundaries to you clearly many times. You chose to cross them. Just because I refused to cross the line doesn't mean I don't respect you. I do, and I'm sorry you feel differently. I cannot change your feelings or your thoughts about me. As I said, if you think bad things about me, I respect that as well. If you need to, you can block me yourself
@Yulianaxxpno, because whenever I think about us I find that the only bad thing I did was blocking you, and the only way I can fix it is by make you block me, so you can feel comfortable by getting rid of me forever and I can suffer alone to death without thinking that I did something truly bad to someone, even if that one is just an average human
@Conflicts
I have no bad thoughts or feelings toward you. I don’t hold any anger, hate or anything like that. Blocking you will not give me any "revenge" or make me feel better. I’m sad and sorry that you refuse to get help or find a new listener. But as I said, I'm not hurt or affected by this. You are free as a person, and you can live your life without any guilt.
@Yulianaxxp, it's not you who decides, you know who does and you know I can't shut him up, if you really care about me, if you who you pretend to be then either go back or block me
@Yulianaxxpand like I said, I don't want a new listener or an old one, You know that I never thought of you as listener, it's only you who act like a bot and hurt me on purpose.
@Conflicts
Look, it's not fair to ask me to “either go back or block you”. I’m not responsible for your thoughts or feelings, no matter how much you try to make me feel that way. I do respect you and I truly wish you the best. But it’s not in your hands to decide whether my respect is defined by blocking you or going back. You know very well that I crossed many boundaries with you. I don’t act like a bot (said why I talk the way I do) and I’m not trying to hurt you. If you really believe that, then you still don’t know me. I respect your thoughts and feelings but your requests are not going to make me cross my own lines.
@Yulianaxxp you are responsible for this, no matter what you tell yourself to avoid the guilt, and yes, you do hurt me on purpose, because when you have the cure to my pain(which will not hurt or affect you) and you absolutely can give it so east but refuses to give it to me, then there is no other explanation
@Conflicts
I get that you see it this way, but no I’m not responsible and I’m not the cure for your pain. No one can be that for another person. I never wanted to hurt you and I’m sorry you feel that I did. But just because I keep my own boundaries doesn’t mean I want to cause you pain. It only means I have to protect myself too. I was open to talk to you again, I was even happy to hear from you again. In fact I was open to continue our conversation if you understood that you were crossing my lines and didn’t decide to block me. I’ve said before that I don’t contact anyone anywhere else, only here. I’ve told you this many times so this isn’t new information for you either. Still, I’m sorry you feel like I’m responsible for your situation but I’m not.
@Yulianaxxp I get that you think this way, but you are responsible for this, and it's not my fault that you ignore the simple meaning of the word "responsible", a human can be a cure to another human and it's not my fault that you're too robotic or close minded to understand that, I've never crossed your boundaries because it was a request which could be answered by a simple "no" and we could discuss it without throwing away accusations, accusations which I will never forgive you for, I will never ever forgive you for accusing me with blackmailing just to make yourself feel strong and to "protect" yourself, protecting yourself never means to accuse the others who you can't read their minds or know their actual intentions, but you are intentionally trying everyway to hurt me
@Yulianaxxpand I'm really sorry that you think so wrong about yourself and your ways and I also feel sorry for every member you have hurt with your prejudgements and hurtful accusations
@Yulianaxxpwhy you're talking like a bot you ask? Just think, is this the same way you speak to your family? Is this the same way you speak to the you know who? Is it the same way you speak to your friends? Is it even the same way you were talking to me before we leave each other? If the answer is anything but "yes, it's absolutely the exact same way" then now you know why you are acting like a bot
@Conflicts
You know what? I respect your words and opinions. If you think this about me and hate me or feel this way, I respect that, and there’s nothing I can do. You say there’s something I could do, but if you feel this way, there’s nothing more I can say. I respect that
@Yulianaxxpwow, so know you moved from being a no-feelings bot to be a contradictory person, good job
@Conflicts
This is me, this has always been me. Yes, I'm more formal with you because you've decided to break the trust I gave you. Your "shut up" says a lot as well. That was a sign for me to become as formal as I am with anyone. I hope you can understand and take care of yourself
@Yulianaxxp liar, liar, liar. Just block me, please
@Conflicts
You publicly call me a liar and a bad person for others to see. But even so, I'm not going to block you. That's something I told you in my first messages, I don't do such things and I keep my words. If you're so angry at me and think such things about me, you're free to block me yourself again. Even though you don't believe me and think bad things about me, I still wish you the best🌷
@YulianaxxpI think true things about you, I didn't mean to say it publicly but you refuse to talk to me in private, and I don't think anyone cares enough to read our discussion here
@Yulianaxxpif I wanted or want to hurt you, you know what I can say and what I know. But I really don't, I only want you to leave my mind alone because I can't stop thinking about you
@Conflictsso just block me and leave me suffer alone to death
@Yulianaxxpand it's you who broke the trust and I deeply regret that I talked comfortably with you without thinking that you are not who you pretended to be