Social anxiety
I used to be a huge social person. I then dated someone for two years who took up all my time and basically tore me down to the point to where I no longer felt like myself. I finally was able to leave the relationship and its been about three months yet I am afraid to be around anyone and have found myself trying to do like self dates and be around people even though I’m alone but even simple tasks like sitting down in a place to eat like I am now feels like the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I’m just worried that I’m going to shut myself off from the world.
@Kiyotaka42 It sounds like your past relationship really brought your mental health and self esteem down. Perhaps you should try taking up some hobbies that you did in the past and try to reconnect with some old friends. It is always hard to start again and go outside your comfort zone but with time, effort, and confidence, you can do it.
Thank you so much I believe you are right and I need to make those efforts to move forward
@Kiyotaka42 you can do this.
Thank you I appreciate the support!
@Kiyotaka42 Hi, I feel the same way, I was single for a long time, and I was doing ok, although feeling a bit lonely but I was doing ok though. Then, I bumped into someone locally and he made it sound like he wanted a serious relationship with me. I know we were still trying it out, but he came on really strong. At first it was scary not just because of his behavior but the fact that I was so vulnerable and I wanted what he was telling me really badly but exetremely afraid of getting hurt. I kept a distance from everyone for a long time because I preferred to be single. Well, I did get involved with him but had a lot of conflicting feelings about him, me, my life and everything in general. It turned out he was not at all who I thought he portrayed himself as. I am not just blaming him but now the thought of everything makes me uncomfortable.
I feel worse than before and I got attached to him. Now I would rather forget the whole thing happened for my own self-preservation but now I feel even worse about going out and being in public. I don't want anyone to get involved with me. I want to move on but I also need time to myself but I feel lonely. It's very confusing and tiring. I really want to act in my own best interest and I really don't know why it's so hard. I am so scared of anyone coming near me now.
I totally understand and I’m so sorry that you have gone through that! I learned recently that what can help is to connect with someone you were close to before the relationship now its really hard and takes some apologies but since doing so I’ve been able to somewhat go out a bit more into the world little by little but it helps.
It’s always rough when you have a traumatic events like that. Maybe slowly reconnect with some old friends or try and meet some news one by getting a new hobby. If you meet people who are beginners too in something like a photography class and you guys learn and grow together, maybe it’ll help with gaining your confidence back.
Wishing you luck!
@Kiyotaka42 I’m so sorry you had to go through that, it must’ve been really scary. I believe that if you have the right mindset you’ll be able to change. Keep an open mind and just know that at the end of the day, it’s your life so do what you want. Don’t let what others think stop you. Everyone is preoccupied with what others think about them. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you become more confident!
I hear you.. Hopefully you are able to find your old socialable self soon conjoined with your new wiser self.❤️ Rooting for you
@Kiyotaka42 That must feel very tough, it is sad to hear that you are currently in this situation. I would also recommend you take up some hobbies since in training and clubs it is very easy to connect with new people. It has always been hard to start again, but in the end, it pays off. I wish you luck and if you really feel that you need to talk with someone, I am open to chat.