should i go back to a triggering online friendship just because one of them checked my profile in a game?
i think i have a little of anxiety when it comes to this, i was offline from this friendship /and also other social connections/ for a long time. but yesterday when i played an old game, i realized one of them checked my profile.., they've been offline for a long time too but this month suddenly they're back. maybe they still care about me? i feel bad for leaving bcause of that, even though the reason i left was because i felt mentally unstable when online with them, like mostly i felt sadness , sometimes anxious. then i realized i couldn't maintain that online friendship. it's like i had to be there, to feel less like a stranger again
my brain is telling me to not go back, sure maybe they're nice people.. but i'm worried if i go back then something will trigger my anxiety again, because sometimes these online friends like to brought back my past unhappy experiences(that may be traumatic) with other online friends. 🫣 yes they're there helping me when i was at my lowest during those times but i don't like when they suddenly talked about my bad experience again like come on i was trying to move on to be less anxious 😰.. i already told them not to, but maybe they forgot or idk
so yes, i'm afraid if i go back then my anxiety will be crazy again and i'll have to leave them again just when i've just come back 😅 what should i do¿?
@hopefulencounter
people may check your profile or try to reconnect. You know what they did they did not respect your wishes why give them another chance.
you can play games and chat casually, but these often are not your friends just like work friends it is in the time playing game and do not share anything you would not want repeated or brought back up.
@toughTiger6481 you're right, it's why i find it very difficult to give them another chance. i'm afraid i'll feel hurt again
@hopefulencounter
It is up to you but I would not make a decision like this based on someone checking your page. There is a reason you called it triggering and toxic. Remember the reasons that you ended the friendship.
@Remina thank you for telling me to not rush on making decision. it's weird how i used to feel safe with them, but then i felt anxious, and then i distanced myself from them. which is why every time i thought of going back, i never did 😅. it's been 6 months since i told them, "Sorry, I'm not feeling well." i never thought my break time from internet friendship would take that long. i feel so much safer when disconnected, going back still feels scary.
@hopefulencounter
If going back feels scary, there is a reason for it. <3 listen to your gut.
@Remina i will, thank you.. 🥹🤍
@hopefulencounter
My honest answer, don't go back 💚
@Amanda84 thank you for making me believe it's better if i don't go back :")
@hopefulencounter
This is ONLY my personal opinion, which I share in case it helps, and it is not professional advice:
One of the things I feel people should always remember, is that the
past, along with all its events and experiences, is in the past, And
those events are and experiences shouldn't affect us anymore.. And I
think we should remember this over and over until we learn it,
Because the thing with the past is that it keeps growing every day,
Which means if we don't control it, more and more things from the
past will affect us, so I think is smarter to focus on the present,
Whether is enjoying the things we have or solving the things that need
solving..
Anyway, if you do learn that the past is in the
past, you Might find that less and less things are triggering.. which
in turn would mean that you are getting stronger and more in control
of your life..
And as for your friends, reach out to those
you miss and tell them so, and the ones that don't add positive
things, Maybe just let them be.. and remember to keep in touch with
the person you love the most. You.
Have a hug and good
luck 😊
@WiseCaribbean this is wonderful, thank you for sharing with me. i agree with what you said. my conclusion is that, i should keep in touch with my real friends.. and i should leave those friends who become a reminder of my unhappy past experiences
@hopefulencounter Excellent! I am glad you feel my comments useful, and I have to insist: instead of leaving the friends that are reminders of negative past events, leave the negative past events!! because that seems to be the source of your anxiety.. if you understand that the past can no longer affect you, you will be stronger, and NO reminder (or friend) will affect you either...
Have a hug and good luck! 😊
@WiseCaribbean thank you, i will try to. i still hesitate about this ;'(
I'll be around if you need to unload ☺️ and remember this unavoidable truth: we live in the present.
@WiseCaribbean what i realized is that right now i prefer to be disconnected from any social media friendship, until earlier 2025 i still enjoyed chatting with online friends but now i feel like i no longer have the energy 🫣
@hopefulencounter I hear you, most of my interaction with social media, is finding funny or very interesting little videos to share to my whatsapp status heheh to bring a smile to my contacts now and then.. and singing twice a week, for my own smile 😊
@WiseCaribbean that's wonderful, a good way to protect peace 🥹👍
I think that you should just text them for the old times sake. Maybe just a small talk, if conversation goes any further then you should tell them politely to not bring the past up as it makes you uncomfortable. Anyway even if it's uncomfortable you'll have to accept whatever happed even if it's bad it's part of your life. But I guess the person your willing to loose for past is a good person who helped you and leaving them won't be fair. As a good human being you should try and get comfortable with them again.
@compassionateCherry8941 i already told one of them many times already that they shouldn't bring up about my unhappy experiences but sometimes they talked about that again, it sometimes happened when they're sharing story about their bad experiences then they compared them to mine. i still think going back to them until today, but it's scary if i have to go with uneasy feelings again :"
+
maybe if i was the old me, i'd stay until they'd all leave, most of my friends left me, life changes, they move on. that's why this time i choose not to stay 🫣
