Weekly Prompt #20: Do you live more in the past or future?
Welcome everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Visualize to Actualize exercise to deal with stress Thank you to all who participated and tried. I appreciate you all. I hope you all find it helpful. If you didn't try or experienced any challenges while trying, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Do you live more in the past or future?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore if we live more in the past or future. Please take a moment to reflect and share with us. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
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@ASilentObserver It is well known that living in the present can reduce anxiety and unwanted thoughts. It took me a while to live in the present, however when I say I live in the present it doesn't mean I am always aware of my present, I don't think about the past or future. It is not possible to stay static we do have wavering thoughts. And so I do think about the past but it doesn't impact me as much, and same for present.
Some tips for those who want to reduce anxiety: listen to music without words, clean, sit in the sun light. It is better to reduce distractions because it will only increase the chance of thinking about the past or future. Thank you.
@Simplelife432 Thank you for sharing your insights on living in the present moment. It sounds like you've found practices that help reduce anxious thoughts for you. How does focusing on the present affect your mood and outlook?
@ASilentObserver Anxiety is more like a symptom that saying our brain and body is feeling a threat. Whenever we feel anxious for example, an exam in that situation one should not try to study or imagine what kind of questions will be asked or ruminate on whether they will do well. Although it is hard to avoid them, however, it can be managed. One way is doing something you like and enjoy whatever you are doing in that moment. Yes the thought will come like clouds during that moment being confident that you it will work out or it is manageable is better than worrying over it. Confidence is one of the key to stay in the present however overconfidence is not.
@Simplelife432 It sounds like anxiety can be challenging to manage at times. What helps you find confidence and stay present in difficult moments? I'm glad you've found strategies like enjoying the current moment to be helpful.
@ASilentObserver To be confident first we need to know our strengths and weakness, more than that to be mindful and aware of what is happening within you. When we start to ruminate being aware can be challenging in order to over come rumination is to pause for a moment and ask certain questions.
For anxiety one can ask : why, what, and the reason for being anxious.
I'll use the same example, exams. So the reason one might think they're feeling anxiety is because of the exam, however that may not be the case. It can be due to other stresses like achieving high grades, family stress, interpersonal expectations, peer pressure so on. Expectations can cause high amount of anxiety, but the problem is we may have forgot the real expectation we had and can start developing unrealistic expectations due to environment, people, academic. This is where one should pause and reflect what the actual expectation is or even if they have one. Once we have come to that awareness we can feel confident as to how important that exam is
@ASilentObserver
instinctively i thought past because of how much it shows up in my present but i think its actually a mix. i think a lot about the future in that im fearful that my past will prevent it from being good/positive.
@ChelleTheBelle222 It is understandable to feel that past experiences influence how we see the future. Please know you're not alone in reflecting on the relationship between the past and what's ahead. What kinds of fears about preventing a positive future are most prominent in your mind?
@ASilentObserver
I have always tried to live in the present day but it seems that it is harder the older I get. I always look back to when my kids were little and growing up and wish I did things differently for them. There's alot of regret there from the past. My theme mantra is "LET IT GO" like someone posted earlier. We can't go back and correct things like we wish we could. It is real easy to worry about the future, not knowing what's going to happen in the world around us right now. In fact, worrying & anxiety does tend to take a toll on your health after awhile - both mental & physical. So I just take it one day at a time.
@cyanVase4070 Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, Cyan. It sounds like focusing on the present and letting go of past regrets can be challenging at times. You are self-aware that worrying can impact your health, so kudos to you for making efforts each day to stay present.
My Mom's not feeling well today. And because of an incident last year with my Dad when Mom wasn't feeling well -I didn't want to have a *** repeated of it this year. So I asked Dad when he was going to talk to Mom about what should be done about *** supper and Dad turned into a *** argument. But he would say I was the one turning it into a *** argument.
I mean come on ever since I was **** 13 Dad treated me like Mom's **** sectary. And last year when Mom was not feeling well on a Sunday he came storming into the computer room and demanding to know if I know Mom's plans for supper. I know as much about Mom's supper plans as he did! The only way to know for sure either way is to wake Mom the *** *** up to find out. And then last year Dad said "I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT'S FOR SUPPER EVER SINGLE I GET UP" or something like that.
So any *** wonder why I didn't want a repeat of Dad coming up here to demand to know if I know anything about Mom's plans for supper now she;s sick. I'm going to leave her alone so she can be better by Saturday (play on Saturday)
@Disneywoman It sounds like a difficult situation with your parents, and you want to avoid adding more stress for your mom during her illness. Reflecting on past incidents can bring up strong feelings.
@ASilentObserver
I couldn't think probbaly when Dad was yelling at me- and yet Mom said I could have told him to look at the meal plan on the cupboard.
@ASilentObserver
I live more in imagination.
@SquidwardBobRoss It sounds like your imagination is an important place for you. Can you tell me more about what you find meaningful about living there? You must have a vivid inner world.
@ASilentObserver
I don't know. Iv'e always been creative and I tend to linger in my headspace. I suppose because there I can imagine the world I would rather live in.
@SquidwardBobRoss It sounds like spending time in your imagination helps you feel more at ease. You are not alone in finding comfort in creative thoughts.
@ASilentObserver I’m not even going to lie. I live more in the present and about getting what I need to get done in front of me
@DeLeeAh It sounds like living in the present and focusing on what's right in front of you helps you get things done. What feelings come up for you when focusing on the tasks at hand?
@ASilentObserver Concentration and if I don't get them done.. anxiety.
@ASilentObserver The past has always overshadowed my present. I am unable to look forward with any hope.
@gbrenna I'm sorry to hear the past feels so heavy on your mind. It sounds like there is lingering pain that makes looking forward difficult. You don't deserve to be defined by past hurts alone - there is light ahead, even if it's hard to see from where you stand.
@ASilentObserver
Hello SilentObserver,
I am trying to live in the future. I believe that my best days are yet to come. However, from time to time, I keep dreaming about my childhood days, and my thoughts are not stable enough. I keep daydreaming, and lately I'm getting tired of them. They are intrusive, I can't let them stop. I don't know if they are related to OCD or not.
@shyDreamer1587 It seems the daydreams from your childhood have been intruding on your present thoughts and bringing a sense of fatigue. You express a desire to focus on the future and what is yet to come - that is understandable. How have these daydreams been impacting your ability to live fully in the present?
Thanks Silent Observer.
I always try new things, new experiences, new friends. However, I have difficulties maintaining any of those. I think they don't represent me, because I used to act differently. So I repress to my older self.
Right now, I want to keep my new things: reading psychology, using 7cups, etc.
I hope that it works this time.
@shyDreamer1587 I hear you trying new things but having difficulties maintaining them has been a challenge. Maintaining meaningful connections and activities is important. You are determined to keep these new parts of your life and we are all here to support and root for you, You are not alone in this.
I live in tue past and it is killing me
@CATastrophizing Living in the past can be painful. You are not alone in struggling with past experiences at times. What feelings come up for you as you think about this?
An example right now. It is the birthday of an aunt i lost last month. I have been living in the how it would have been to still have her around rather than the she would have wanted me to go on and be happy and smile.
@CATastrophizing It sounds like losing your aunt so recently has brought up many difficult feelings as you remember this special day. Reflecting on happy memories together and imagining how things could have been must be both comforting and painful. You must care deeply for her to be thinking of her so.
@ASilentObserver Good question. Ehm, the present? 😅
According to my therapist it is not possible to live in the future nor in the past. So I am trying to live by it. I learned to let go of my worries about the future, I still have my dreams of what I want to do and where I want to travel, but I'm not living there.
The past is definitely more than the future, it still gets me a lot of times mainly during my depression episodes.
But I try to live in the present most of the time. I try to enjoy the sun when it shines, breathe and survive.
@mish3l Thank you for sharing about your journey of living in the present. Always good to hear your thoughts and insights. It sounds like you have learned some helpful insights from your therapist. I am glad to hear you still allow space for dreams of the future while not dwelling in worries. Each moment is a new opportunity. How have you found focusing on the present affects your mood?
@ASilentObserver really? Thanks :) I like to read your posts too and always looking forward to your thoughtful replies :) And yes, I learned a lot from my therapist but also generally from different 7Cups resources too (paths, forums, articles, discussions,...).
As to your question, it's definitely better for me to be more present, I think it's an important skill to learn when you're fighting with anxiety and depression. Sometimes not staying in the past is the hardest thing possible but also the most important one. I'm not always successful. Sometimes I don't even want to be. Sometimes I just want to lay in bed the whole day and wait until one of the depression or grief episodes passes. Sometimes I even purposefully drag myself down by watching old videos and memories, which then leads to another episode. Sometimes it can't even be avoided.
But in general I try to do my best. There are good days and bad days.
@mish3l Focusing on the present moment can help reduce suffering. You're not alone in struggling with depression and anxiety. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.