Weekly Prompt #20: Do you live more in the past or future?
Welcome everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Visualize to Actualize exercise to deal with stress Thank you to all who participated and tried. I appreciate you all. I hope you all find it helpful. If you didn't try or experienced any challenges while trying, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Do you live more in the past or future?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore if we live more in the past or future. Please take a moment to reflect and share with us. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
Join us in the Anxiety Support Chat every Monday and Tuesday!
Can I say in a sense I do both?
When Dad bothers me (I'm trying to find the thread I created to write more in it about my problems with Dad)- I do something Mom calls "Polishing" and how I should just 
But a lot of the time I'm worried about the future about something happenign to the parents-espcially when my parents have a habbit of always behing behind the time they will say they will come home-unless they're comming from Mom's hairdresser.
Every single time since after 2012- that I'm constantly worried sick about a police officer showing up at the house telling me my parents died in a car crash. And imagine the scene from Frozen when Anna's at the door of Elsa's room after their parents died from "Let's Build a Snowman Now replace that door with a telphone and Elsa is instead of being in her room but is in another part of the Kingdom instead and needs a telphone to communicate with Anna. That kind of line "Its only you and me, what are we going to do?" is how I would be feeling. (oh and Elsa doesn't have powers but Anna does in this inverse situation)
That mixed with Nani and Lilo from Lilo and Stich- (those two sisters have double the age gap of me and my own sister Luna) but that kind of fighting happens a lot between us-or at least at times when she's was suppose to be my "caretaker growing up (techinally mostly baby-sitting-but one time wasn't our parents fault but an Aunt by marriage in Korean this aunt, would be called oesungmo ((It means mom's brother's wife))-this oesungmo, is basically simliar to the Cuckoo bird where they would drop their eggs for another bird to take care off. Some humans parents also do this thing as well-including this oesungmo- apperently forgot her in-laws -my materneal grandparents-were suppose to come down and look after me and my sister in that month and dropped off our Cousins Lilly ad Roesta, at grandparents- so grandparents had to back out of looking after Luna and I- and because it was so late in trying to find someone either they didn't want to do it Dad's Mom just lost Dad's dad too too long ago, or they already had plans-my Imo ((Materneal Aunt)) and other relatives were going camping together)
I have no idea how to take care of a house-I can barley take care of myself with Mom acting like my sectertary-caregiver! (can't cut my pills myself, can't phone in refills by myself, and I can't do my hair-mystelf-the last one is due to motor skills) and I can't be in Doctor's offfice myself, etc
@Disneywoman It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of worry and anxiety about what may happen to your parents. Feeling responsible for your sister at a young age also added stress. You have mentioned a desire to become more independent - perhaps small steps in that direction could help you feel more in control.
@ASilentObserver
I don't really want to be rude-but you kind of misunderstood me. I'm the one with special needs/disabled so that I wouldn't be the one taking care of my sister but my sister taking care of ME instead if "something was to happen" to our parents. That's why I said reverse Elsa and Anna having powers Ie Anna has powers in my situation and still being youngest but Elsa the eldest sister doesn't) mixed with the fighting/not getting along of Nani and Lilo siblings from Lilo and Stich movie.
Like I highly believe (but I'm don't know for sure) but compared how she actually tried to "parent" me in the past even when I was teenager and she was in her 20s ("Baked Potato incident" you can read on another thread)-that she would probably want me to a)be in doctor's offices by myself, and b)probably would want me to be my own scribe in cases when she might not be avaibe-either in a doctor's office, or to fill out vaccine forms.
@Disneywoman I hear loud and clear you are disabled; you have to have others do most everything for you; since there is apparently so little you can do for yourself. It is understandably an anxious way of life.
If no one is there to do something for you, what could be done?
@RogueOne1983 I don't want to be rude but I have to point out I'm not 100% disabled. I actually could see me- you would think I'm able-bodied. My disabilities are basically in a sense inside me. I have the ability to renew my prescriptions but Mom insists on when I try to do that -on her supervising me. I also *could* cut one of my needed medications in half legally- but the stupid pharmacy decide to change the brand to a smaller version which means for someone like me with big hands its harder for me to line up then with the bigger brand of (medication)
@ASilentObserver both. I can't escape the past, but I want to oneday become a explorer. So defiantly both. Although I like to live in the present too, enjoy the day the best I can, doing things that make me happy ❤
@Tinywhisper11 It sounds like both living in the present and exploring hold importance for you. You also mentioned enjoying each day and doing things that make you happy - it seems focusing on small joys can help us appreciate the present moment. If I can ask, what aspects of being an explorer most draw you in or excite you?
@ASilentObserver I was captive to bad people and hidden away from the world for 18 years. I never saw anything during that time. Then I moved straight from the hospital to the carehome where I live now, after I was rescued. I'm 22 years old now and since I arrived at the home I've never left. I've only scene pictures of the outside world, so one day I want to be able to go out, to see everything I possibly can. And the ocean looks so pretty, that's the first thing I want to see ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I am so sorry to hear about the difficult experiences you have had. It sounds like you have endured a lot and your desire to see the outside world is very understandable. How are you feeling now as you think about all you've missed and your hopes for the future? You showed great strength and resilience in making it through such a challenging time.
@ASilentObserver I'm doing ok ❤ I know I've missed out on alot, but I'm safe here I have so much more than I ever knew exsisted. I'm not living in fear anymore. So I'm happy and content now ❤ exploring is just a dream. My owners made me disabled, so I need 24 hour care. So exploring is just a dream. But no harm in dreamin g😁
Hi, ASO,.
I don't know. I want the present to pass very quickly because I want the future to get here very quickly
@purpleTree4652 It seems you are feeling impatient for the present to pass so you can get to the future. You are not alone in sometimes wanting time to speed up or slow down. What thoughts or feelings are contributing to that impatience?
@ASilentObserver
Oh, ASO, in the past it was always pain, in the present, it's being unsure and fear.
@purpleTree4652 It sounds like you've experienced a lot of pain in the past and are feeling unsure and fearful in the present. Please know I am here with you to listen to and to support. you are not alone in this.
I think I'm a conundrum. I live in fear of the future repeating my past.
@akay06 It sounds like you are feeling fearful about what may happen in the future based on past experiences. You are not alone in having concerns about what's to come. What worries you the most about repeating the past?
@ASilentObserver
i used to live more in the past.. but now it’s mostly my future i’m worried about. even last night i was thinking to myself and then voicing out loud to my bf that i wonder what my future looks like. i’m always worried about my future, because i want to know if i’ll be happy, successful and at peace. but my bf told me last night that, it’s what i do now, in the present that shapes my future. now really thinking about it, doesn’t give me the comfort i was hoping for, because i’m not doing anything productive/meaningful in my life currently to shape my future, or work towards my goals *the bigger picture. i’m just existing.
@chyni It sounds like you have been spending a lot of time worrying about the future and what it may hold. Your desire to find happiness, success and peace is very understandable. Your boyfriend shared an insightful perspective that what we do in the present shapes our future. You seem dedicated to working towards your goals and living according to your values. How does focusing on the present moment make you feel when worrying about the future?
@ASilentObserver
I've been practicing mindfulness, so it’s not like i’m constantly worrying about the future. it was just a thought, and it happens from time to time.
@chyni
it’s just that i think more about my future than my past
@chyni It's understandable to think more about the future at times. You mention practicing mindfulness - how has that experience been for you?
the lion king quote is so spot-on 😂
I think I am living more in the past, not only nostalgia from my old memories, but also I read books and listen to music of a time that I didn't even live, a time before my birth. I think that's maybe because I have a lot of regrets and want time to be back, or because I don't feel satisfied with myself, or I just can't move on and don't have any hope for the future, I just don't know.
@DinaElwy It sounds like you have been spending time reflecting on the past and exploring times before your own through books and music. Those thoughts and feelings can often come up when we're processing life changes or challenges. What kinds of reflections do you find most comforting or meaningful in those experiences?
I try to forget about the past (the bad things) and look to the future. I unfortunately struggle to think positively about the future, and instead just worry about all the bad things that I think could/might happen. So, I guess I live in a made up future of anxiety and worry. (It's not a fun place to be.)
@thoughtfulmomma Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like focusing on the future causes you a lot of worry and anxiety. It can be so difficult to struggle with anxious thoughts about the future. I hear that living with worry isn't an enjoyable place to be. You don't have to go through this alone.
I'd say I only really live in the past when I am reminded of and ruminate on bad memories. Sometimes it goes for a long while and other times it's very quick, only lasting a few minutes.
@cafedaydreams Thank you for sharing about your experience living in the past. It sounds like certain memories can be difficult to move past. What is it about those bad memories that tend to stick with you?
I find that I live a life that's deeply influenced by both my past and my present. The past, for me, isn't a source of constant distress, but rather a guiding force that has significantly contributed to who I am today.
My past experiences, both the challenges and the triumphs, have been instrumental in shaping my identity and my values. It's almost like a roadmap that has led me to where I am now. I've learned invaluable lessons from the past, which have influenced my choices and behaviors in the present.
@cherryblossom177 I'm glad to hear your past doesn't cause constant distress, but rather guides you. It sounds like your past experiences have given you important insights and helped shape who you are. What lessons have you found most valuable for navigating your present?
One of the most valuable lessons I've gleaned from my past experiences is that the past, instead of being something to cling onto, should be viewed as a resource for learning and growth. It provides us with insights into what to do and what to avoid in our present. Our past experiences, both positive and negative, serve as a compass to make better decisions and choices today. Additionally, I've come to understand that the process of healing is not a linear journey. It's entirely okay to experience moments of sadness or setbacks, even when we anticipate improvement. Healing is a gradual process that demands patience and time. These insights have been instrumental in shaping my approach to navigating the complexities of life.
@cherryblossom177 Thank you for sharing your insightful reflections on navigating life's complexities. The lessons you have learned about viewing the past as a resource for growth and understanding that healing is a gradual process are certainly wise ones. You also mentioned patience and time being important factors in the healing process and I think it plays a key role. In what ways have you practiced self-compassion during the times when sadness or setbacks occur?