Weekly Prompt #31: What are your fears when it comes to social situations?
Hi everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Are you using black-and-white thinking? Thank you to all who participated and shared your thoughts with us. I appreciate you all. I hope all who may read it find it relatable too. If anyone hasn't shared yet, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What are your fears when it comes to social situations? What are you afraid of?
For some, the fear of judgment and rejection looms large in social settings. The thought of being scrutinized or criticized by others can be paralyzing. The fear of not being accepted or fitting in can make social interactions feel like a minefield. It's natural to want to be liked and accepted, but the fear of not measuring up to others' expectations can be overwhelming. So, what are your fears when it comes to social situations? What are you afraid of? Share your thoughts and experiences – you're not alone in navigating the complexities of social interactions. Let's explore our fears together and support each other in facing them with courage and compassion.
@ASilentObserver I grew up severely bullied which made me develop social anxiety. When I interact with others, specially people that I do not know very well, I tend to feel very misunderstood because I am an introvert and people tend to take it the wrong way, like I am stuck-up therefore I do not want to speak to them etc. I am scared of being yelled at, unfairly judged, mocked, or bullied, betrayed like the times I had to endure it in the past. The fact that I am not a native speaker of the language spoken in the country I reside also makes me feel very self-conscious when I speak, so I avoid any unnecessary social interaction.
@lilium16 I am sorry to hear that Lilium, it sounds like you have been through a lot. Being bullied can be incredibly painful and can shape our experiences in profound ways. Your feelings of self-consciousness and fear of being judged are completely understandable. How has this impacted your life?
@ASilentObserver Due to my past of bullying and betrayals from people I once considered friends, It has become almost impossible to trust new people. I have also lost interest in making new friends at all, I assume it will go wrong anyways, so why even bother. The language issue makes me remain quiet as long as a can to avoid making grammar mistakes or having people not understanding what I am trying to say so I only speak if it is absolutely necessary. Since I moved to the current country I live in, my social anxiety has definitely worsen.
@lilium16 I am really sorry to hear about all these challenges, lillum. It's completely understandable that these experiences would make it difficult for you to trust others and want to avoid forming new friendships. Your feelings of social anxiety in your current location are also understandable. Please know you have us here to support you. Take your time and share what you can while being kind and gentle to yourself. You are not alone in this.
@ASilentObserver
Bullying and being ostracized. Being made fun of and embarrassing myself. Not feeling accepted. All of these have to do with reliving my past trauma. I do not fit in with a lot of social groups and I often find myself having to hop from group to group. I am sensitive with the slightest perceived disrespect as a result from years of social bullying (and me being socially inept and at times obnoxious and inappropriate, so some of it was also my fault, I can understand why people couldn't stand to be around me back then).
@PopPunkPrincess17 Thank you for opening up with us, princess. It sounds like you have had difficult experiences with social interactions in the past. Feeling bullied, ostracized, and embarrassed can be incredibly painful. Are there any particular situations or triggers that cause you to feel anxious or uneasy?
@PopPunkPrincess17 Thank you for opening up with us, Pop. It sounds like you have had difficult experiences with social situations in the past due to bullying and feelings of not fitting in. I understand how these experiences can shape our fears and anxieties in future social interactions. How do you typically respond when you feel bullied or excluded in social situations?
I am afraid everyone is judging me, that I am not good enough and they know it.
@wildflower789 I find this so relatable as I am also hyper aware of this and feel judged when people look at me or I do stuff in social situations. But I have learned that most people in those situations often are more occupied with their own thoughts and themselves in general, and not with me and how I do things all the time. Still it is difficult to keep that in mind all the time in those situations. Can you relate to that or does that thought help you in those situations?
@wildflower789 I hear you feel hurt by the thought of people judging you. What makes you think others might be judging you?
@ASilentObserver I can't read their minds
@Conflicts I get that, it can definitely be hard when we can't read other people's minds. What thoughts come up for you when you consider reaching out to them?
@ASilentObserver IDK it literally can be anything maybe they will think " who is this idiot why is he/she talking to me " or " Ha Ha Ha what a joker can't believe there's a human that naive " or " eeesh, why is he/she talking to me how can I escape from this " or " who you think your self you're such a fool" , .... etc
@ASilentObserver
I am afraid of being judged. She is so plain, She doesn't have anything to offer. Her education is not up to our standards. She doesn't have any original ideas. She is just like everyone else. From experience, one is first judged on appearance. If you're not pretty by society's standards you are, at the least, ignored. Which, is almost as bad as outright rejection.
@NotAllHere713 I am sorry to hear that. You are concerned about how others may view your friend due to her appearance. How would you feel if people judged you based on looks alone?
I always fear that I won't make any friends. Once someone gets to know me, they find it hard to believe, but I can be shy and hesitant when in a new crowd.
@ThoughtLight it seems like you have some social anxiety about meeting new people. You feel scared that people may not accept you once they get to know you. What are some situations where you have felt most anxious in the past?
@ASilentObserver It is the part I dread about starting at my new university this fall. I don't like cliques and I'm always nervous about not naturally falling into one which is how it operates in my experiences. It doesn't bother me so much about being liked or not. I'm smiling thinking of something the old film legend Bette Davis said...I just am not good at making the first move with people at all. Every friend I've had has made the first move. Then sometimes I find myself feeling suspicions at someone being so friendly. I had a bully problem when I was younger.
@ASilentObserver I fear exactly what you mentions, Fear of rejection. I feel if people just ignore me or just are not interested in me, they'll leave and I'll never find in me to talk to anyone else. Its worries me.
More so than anything the fear to talk to women, i feel something terrible will happen if i can't to women well, or i don't know, i am so scared at times. The worry makes me saty away from women even more.
My therapist suggested me that, the worse can happen is people will forget me or best, they will remember. But as you mentioned we all want to be liked by others, so i always feel people should like me. More I am recovering, i feel people should notice me, or should be with me, when i don't get it i feel like i am not getting better, but its not true. Yeah, I want to be open and able to make conversation, its hard though for me, always have been, since childhood, so i can't burst open, but maybe i should be able to calm my anxiety! Any feedback would be great
@amiableFig7651 You are experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety around social interactions, especially with women. The fear of rejection and not being liked is understandably overwhelming. You deserve all support Fig and you have all of us here with you
@ASilentObserver Thanks so much! I feel it less now but its something I do make a deal in my head, rather i feel if i can take it one day at a time, one moment at a time i feel less nervous. Thanks
@ASilentObserver
Never heard of black and white thinking, this is interesting ! Just realized you do a anxiety chat room. I'm trying to figure out what time that is for me on Monday so I can join. What time is it on cups time so I can work it out on my time zone?
@bouncyCandy4246 We are all here with you to listen to and support. 😊 I am glad you are interested in joining our anxiety support group. Please do join and share to get support. We are all here with you to support, Candy.
I have this deep fear that people will laugh and talk about how ridiculous I look.
@Shamrock1993
i used to get this feeling as well.. then i convinced myself that, half these people won’t even see me again, so why do i care? and even if i worry about that, i can’t stop them from seeing me how they want to see me, and that’s okay
@Shamrock1993 I get that feeling Sham and it is natural to feel worried about being embarrassed. What would it mean to you if people were talking and laughing?
@ASilentObserver
When it comes to social situations, I am afraid that I will be judged based on something that I say. I often worry about how I am perceived by others.
@kamrynk1224 I understand you have some real concerns about how you'll be seen by others. What's behind your fear of being judged?