Weekly Prompt #33: How open do you feel about talking about your anxiety with others?
Hello all and welcome back to another discussion,
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: How are you feeling right now? Thank you to all who participated and shared your thoughts with us. I appreciate you all. I hope all who may read it find it relatable too. If anyone hasn't shared yet, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How open do you feel about talking about your anxiety with others?
The topic of discussing anxiety with others carries a weight of vulnerability and courage. It's not easy to open up about our inner struggles, especially when it comes to mental health issues like anxiety. Yet, the act of sharing our experiences and emotions with others can be a powerful step towards healing and connection. Let's get started and share your thoughts with us.
Also, it is time for periodic feedback on these weekly prompts.
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver Sadly, not at all. My family is mostly closed when it comes to things like this. Just go with it, do the things we have to do and suck it up. Most things underneath the surface don't really get touched and everything is usually quite the same (chats, discussions, events and stuff like that). Classic cases of "how are you?", "fine." and that's that...
On top of that I also feel like whenever I bring something like this up, I gets seen as weakness or a nuisance. Feeling judged over it, but mostly misunderstood. So this makes it more difficult to talk about it for me. Bottling it up is the less preferred, but mostl frequently chosen alternative.
@Michelh1996 😞 that's really sad, unfortunately a Lot of people still don't understand the effects of anxiety or mental health. There's still so many people not open to the concept of mental health, perhaps stuck in their own ways. So I'm sorry sweetie, but hey! Thank God we have this site, where we can be ourselves and not afraid to talk about it ❤❤ it's not a weakness sweetie ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
out bodies are made up of 90% water, so basically humans are just cucumbers with anxiety😁😂❤
@Tinywhisper11 I know right? It makes it so much more difficult to talk about and deal with.
Indeed that is why I found this place! And having the opportunity to share stuff on here and also hear from others can definitely be something to hold on to. Which is super important for us cucumbers!
@Michelh1996 that's right ❤ us cucumbers must stick together ❤❤ out cups family ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 our* cups family ❤
@Michelh1996 I hear you Michel. You are hesitant to discuss your anxiety due to the potential judgment from your family. Bottling up your feelings can be challenging. What are some benefits or drawbacks to keeping your anxiety to yourself?
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver I think in a way it is about not showing "weakness", staying strong and pushing yourself through, but bottling it up also tires you out over time. I have noticed recently that opening up does relieve some stress but at the same time causes some fear and doubt because I feel like my issues are stupid or I should "man" up. Also maybe bottling it up over time doesn't just hurt yourself and tires you, but also builds higher walls to start sharing it, which has happened to me, and on top of that people just don't know about it, so you drift further away from them on certain topics that are revolving around your anxiety.
If feel like mayba a 6 or 7 because it has been really helpful, but I feel like I have to subtract 1 or 2 points because I still find sharing so difficult myself as I am not familiar with it, so it can be scary and gives me doubts and anxiety again. It is something I have to get better at.
So definitely anxiety-related topics like judgement, fear, all-eyes-are-on-me (even though I know it is not true at all), being able to take initiative and be pro active and put yourself out there while ignoring the fear, judgement and what other people think.
@Michelh1996 Thank you for sharing Michel, I appreciate the feedback and I understand how these discussions can be difficult at times but please know you doing great trying to open up and share what you can. Keep it going and know you have all of us here in this with you. I will work on bringing more discussions on the suggested topics in upcoming discussions.
It sounds like you are carrying a heavy burden by yourself for a long time. I am glad you have noticed that keeping things inside can be exhausting and build walls around you. Opening up can bring some relief, but also trigger feelings of fear and self-doubt. Your emotions and experiences are valid.
@ASilentObserver Thanks! I am definitely looking forward to participating in more prompts and questions like these whenever I find them on the feed or in the mentions! 💪
@ASilentObserver Well generally I'm very conscious of not letting people know about my anxiety but still I try to share it with some of my close friends. It's not an easy step, it takes so much of my courage and time each time I start talking about my anxiety but once I'm done speaking, I feel very light. Though I'm still not so open about it, I'm trying because I know it helps.
@Blahblah1805 gives you a ggggiiiannnttt tiny hug ❤❤ I'm always here for you, I'm a tag away if you need someone to support you ❤❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I love you more Lola!! It's been a while, I hope you're doing well ❤. Thank you so much for always been there!!
@Blahblah1805 I'm doing good ❤❤❤❤ I love you ❤
@Blahblah1805 I can understand how sharing about anxiety can take a lot of courage, Blah. It sounds like you've made progress in opening up to some close friends. What helps you build up the courage to share?
- Also, please do share feedback on these weekly prompts. It would be helpful to me
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver Uh I guess I gain the courage because I think of the result like I know I'll feel better once I share about it with someone.
Obs your posts are always helpful. So yep it's a 10/10.
Um I'm not sure maybe understanding the anxiety more clearly and deeply and how to calm down when it takes over you.
Take care Obs❤
@ASilentObserver I'll give theese prompts a 🤔🤔10 of course 😁❤ perhaps we could learn about the different kind of anxietys, and why there are so many that suffer in different ways ❤
I'd say I've never been shy to talk about my health, mental or physical, and I've always been pretty open about my 569 life problems😁 but recently learnt that I perhaps I am a bit to open, and that my story and problems is a bit to much for people to hear😥
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you for the feedback and thoughts Tiny. thank you for suggestions. It can be difficult finding the right balance when it comes to sharing our struggles with others. On one hand, opening up can bring relief and understanding, but on the other hand, it can also lead to feeling overexposed or burdening others. What led you to realize that you may have been too open about your struggles?
With my anxiety disorder I'm more comfortable talking about it that other problems I have. Thankfully anxiety doesn't quite have the stigma some other things do. Stigma still stings, I have to admit. I don't show it but you can't help it. Often my anxiety is visually obvious from across the room.
@ThoughtLight even though anxiety/mental health can be a silent illness, you can't really ever hide it. It's part of you, I know stigmas are terrible. But you are who you are, and your the best version of you there could ever be ❤ so it's ok to show your vulnerable side ❤ especially here, cause we all understand what your going through ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11 it does help me to quickly realize that they aren't a person I want to have in my life. Stigma came a lot from the "dating pool". I don't need someone like that. Stigma is an awfully negative reflection on the person doing it.
@ThoughtLight that's sad 😢 I'm sorry about your dating experiences, and yeah, stigmas are pretty much bullying, it's not nice, some people are just not nice. I've never dated and I never will. But I hope oneday your princess/prince will come and they will be worthy of you ❤ and you will live happily ever after, fairytales are real you know. But for now focus on your own health and wellbeing, and your studys ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I've been single for a couple of years now and I've been fine with it. I used to always feel the need to have a guy but now it just isn't a priority. I'm content. Maybe after I graduate, I will meet someone. Or maybe in college I will meet someone with common interests. So, I guess I'm open to the possibility without actually looking. Dating in the gay male world isn't easy. And next time I'm not dropping and ignoring my standards. I was told once you can't be happy being with someone else until you've learned to be happy by yourself first.
@ThoughtLight good for you ❤ but yes the dating thing I imagine would be very hard. Never let anyone put you down or hurt you, your a great guy, anyone would be extremely lucky to date you ❤❤ just be careful out there, but you have a brilliant brain I'm sure you will be just fine ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 thank you very much. You're so kind. I learned the hard way enough times never to settle again. With my illness I've learned everything the hard way a few times...for safe measure.
@ThoughtLight ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤
@ThoughtLight Thank you for sharing light, appreciate the share. I understand how anxiety can be difficult to deal with, especially when it's visible to others. It can be tough to cope with both internal and external perceptions. What helps you manage your anxiety when it's visible to others?
- Also, please do share feedback on these weekly prompts. It would be helpful to me
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver
Not going to lie, I am quite ashamed of it. I think shame is the right word, but yeah. I have had panic attacks ever since I was little and was always either told to not be dramatic or got these looks of just horror. The way they looked at me like I was a monster or something. It hurt a lot, I never wanted to be looked at like that again. My parents just say anxiety is fake and you have to just realize that and you'll be fine. Since I have very visible reactions it's harder to hide and that just makes me more anxious. I try to avoid talking about it with my family since they will probably just tell me to get over it. Except my siblings, they get it because they're in the same boat.
@JollyRacher 😞 that's really bad people made you feel shame because of mental health issues😞 I'm glad your siblings are in your side ❤ it's sad that your parents and many others think mental health isn't real. It is real, it is happening, it is a illness. I hope oneday soon, you'll be able to not feel ashamed of your illness, we are all here for you ❤ I'm here for you ❤ I understand. Hugs you tightly ❤
@JollyRacher
Omg that’s so sad, you weren’t taken seriously. I had crippling anxiety twice in my life, and it may seem fake but internally, it is awful.
Big hug and I hope your siblings can be your best support systems.
@JollyRacher Thank you for sharing Jolly. I understand how it can bring up difficult feelings when people react poorly to our struggles. You' have been through a lot. That can bring up tough emotions. What's it like for you to feel so misunderstood by those closest to you?
- Also, please do share feedback on these weekly prompts. It would be helpful to me
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver
What's it like for you to feel so misunderstood by those closest to you? It felt like a stab in the chest, because they're my parents. The people who are supposed to love you and look out for you. So, in my mind at the time if I ever was to trust someone or hope to be understood by someone I figured it would be them. However, when I saw the look on their face. A look of fear and disgust a lot of that trust I had in them was lost. At first, it was looks of fear and then later it became annoyance or distaste. Now, I don't think they even care.
On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? I think I would give it a solid 8, because it does encourage a lot of thought. Things I didn't think about, and it lets me take a step back and breathe for a minute which I think is nice.
What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further? I'm not sure if this has already been a prompt or a discussion but the different types anxiety or panic attacks people experience. I just noticed when my sister panics she looks completely calm but when I panic I kind of curl up. So, just something I took note of.
For me, it depends heavily on what I'm anxious about. I find (as is typical with anxiety) that a lot of my anxieties are over things that don't deserve that kind of attention. Things that I shouldn't be as "worked up" about as I am. For those things, talking about it with someone can be really comforting for me because it can provide some perspective from someone who doesn't experience feelings the way that I do. For things that are more "normal" to be anxious about, talking about it can often make things worse because it is giving something more attention than it needs or deserves. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so it can be hard for me to hide when I am feeling anxious so it does get talked about a lot.
@IndigoNight that's not a bad thing ❤ more people need to wear their heart on their sleeve ❤❤ by sharing your insecurities and vulnerability, you are helping not only yourself, but others too. ❤It may not always seem like that though. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@IndigoNight It seems like you feel most comfortable discussing your anxiety with others when you are experiencing it related to specific difficult situations. You also shared that talking about it can sometimes make things worse. Can you please share more on what you mean by this?
- Also, please do share feedback on these weekly prompts. It would be helpful to me
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver Yes! I've found that, for me, talking about my anxieties and having them validated makes the problem worse. When people validate that the thing I'm anxious about should be causing anxiety, it gives that thought a voice that it doesn't need.
I've only done this weeks post so far, but just as general feedback I like the idea and reading through this thread and seeing everyone else's POV has been very comforting. It feels a lot like a group therapy session and I like getting to interact with people that I have this in common with.
@IndigoNight It makes sense that hearing others confirm our worries can give them more power. I appreciate your thoughts about our community and the value you find in connecting with others who understand what you're going through. We are all here with you to listen to and support you. indigo
@ASilentObserver
It depends on the person.
Throughout my journey for better mental health one thing that was identified as part of my childhood trauma was a lack of safe space for emotions and feelings. "Oh you think you have it bad" was the common response to me ever trying to communicate being unhappy with the adults in my life so to feel invalidated was the norm. It led to me as an adult never talking about my feelings and always masking. I am not comfortable with sharing my feelings.
One of the biggest growth points I've had since starting a journey of mental health was learning I need to share and communicate. It doesn't have to be always, it's a challenge and it makes me anxious to do so but overtime it has helped.
That said, I've also learned that not everyone is a safe person to share with. I've learned the hard way sometimes people will learn you have mental health problems and use it later to invalidate you. The cruelest is when it comes from someone you love.
I've had sisters who dismiss me out of hand for trying to express they've crossed a boundary and upset me as it just being in my head and is just my anxiety so they don't need to change or listen. I've had friends who during a fight will list out every piece of anxiety or fear I've ever confessed to them as part of a way to prey upon my insecurities and manipulate me.
It took a lot of trial and error, a lot of hard lessons learned to be able to identify the toxicity of others and not internalize it.
I'm about 4/10 comfortable with sharing my anxiety but it fluctuates depending on the person. There are specific people in my life that are safer than others and I value them so much.
Note. I always ask permission first before sharing, because our support people may not always have the personal bandwidth to be our listeners. In such cases I found it helpful to have a therapist.
@darkiya 😞 that's really sad 😢 you should always be able to be yourself around people, especially people you love and care about😞 well sweetie we have a safe place here at 7 cups, a place where we can just be us ❤❤ we care about you here ❤❤hugs you tightly ❤
@darkiya Thank you for opening up with us, Darkiya. It takes courage to talk about these experiences and insights. You are right, finding safe spaces for our emotions and feelings can be challenging, especially when we have experienced invalidation in the past. You have a nice approach of asking permission before sharing, and recognizing the importance of therapists as well.
Also, please do share feedback on these weekly prompts. It would be helpful to me
- On a scale of 1-10, how helpful did you find these discussions on anxiety so far? (10 being most helpful)
- What specific topics related to anxiety would you be interested in learning more about or discussing further?
@ASilentObserver
It's very difficult.
@purpleTree4652 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ it is hard ❤ but thank God we have 7 cups ❤
@purpleTree4652 Can you please share more about it? purple
@ASilentObserver
Hi, ASO,
It's far too personal to share with just anyone. It's very complicated. For instance, I am very tired of explaining the cause of my anxiety. Also, people don't understand. I've been put down for the reason for my PTSD. It's better if I keep it balled up and only talk to my nurse practitioner or you or Ami peace or others who I feel comfortable sharing with. Even though you all might misunderstand, I'm not going to repeat my anxiety issues to everyone.
@purpleTree4652 That makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you have a strong sense of what you want to share and with whom. I appreciate that you are taking care of yourself by being selective about this. How does it feel to have that boundary?
@ASilentObserver
Boundaries are great. They give me a wall to relax behind.
@ASilentObserver
I don't feel comfortable talking about it with anyone in my life, I'm much too cowardly lol
@labidus I understand how it can be difficult to discuss our struggles with others, especially when we lack the confidence to do so. Would you like to share more about why you feel cowardly when it comes to discussing this aspect of yourself?
90 degree.
@SoulPitstop Can you please elaborate, Soul. Appreciate your share
Just being funny makes one think.
The question is, uh, how open are we to sharing? So, I'm 90 degrees open to sharing. Which means a quarter in a circle.