Here to Talk to Myself

My anxiety and I have been doing really well lately. I have felt more in control of things. I am getting better sleep. I have been going along pretty well.

And then it's here again. Today. And I find myself sitting here, struggling to let things go.

A lot of my anxiety is caused by the actions and reactions of others. Which basically means I get freaked out and anxious when people do things that I don't like (not that they're bad things, just things I wouldn't choose to do). I get anxious when people close to me make mistakes, even if they absolutely have no affect on me personally.

As an example, let's say my son calls me later today to tell me he bombed an exam, or skipped class. These things in no way have any affect on my life. Would I be disappointed? Of course. But the choice of him skipping a class has absolutely no affect on what I'm doing in my life.

But for some reason something like that would trigger my anxiety. And I hate it.

So, I'm here right now talking to myself, because something - a couple of things I have no control over - have triggered my anxiety today. And I'm here to tell myself that it isn't about me, it has nothing to do with me, and these things, truly, don't have any affect on my life, so I shouldn't worry or freak out about them.

Dear Anxiety:

People will say things. People will do things. But it's not about me. Stop making me believe it's about me. Because it's not. I know when it's my issue. I know when it's something I need to be aware of, or be fearful of, or be anxious about. This isn't the time. I don't want you here today. I've enjoyed you being away and you aren't welcome in my life. Ever!