One situation that I feel sad about right now is....
I've only opened up really to one listener and they were kind, helpful and out of nowhere bailed on responding. Let me be first to admit I understand the complexities of being a listener. It must be hard to listen to others negative feelings and emotions. But wow! That is literally what you signed up for. Now I have the problems I came here with and insecurities added for not even being able to keep a listeners attention. I'm sad and beyond
@Starysky
I feel you. It's tough to open up to anyone and then they vanish without a heads up.
I hope you find someone that genuinely would make the effort. 🙂
My ex is always going to hold me accountable for calling the police on her. I have tried to do everything I can to make the situation better and she told me yesterday that seeing my face or talking to me just brings her right back to that night. I'm not trying to dismiss her feeling and I'm trying to show her that I'm here for her even though my family and friends think I'm crazy for still associating with her but that means nothing to her. I'm trying so hard and I don't even know why. She won't even take responsibility for the things she's done to make me call the authorities that night. Her destroying my place and acting out. It's all just crazy. I don't know why I even still care but I do and I'm just trying to help and nothing is working. I just wanna give up.
@brightFig4640
You might not ever be able to get her to see things from your perspective. Some people are simply not able or willing to see how their actions affect others, instead only focusing on themselves. Maybe the best thing you can do, as difficult as it may be, is to give her the space she's requesting.
@KzooDiana I definitely will try. She's so flip floppy with me. It kind of seems like she wants space but when I give that to her she takes it as a sign of me not caring. Emotions are all over the place. But I am hoping space will help.
I feel like my whole life I've been told that if I'm not the best at what I do then there's no point doing it because no one cares if you're not the best, and it's really really hard trying to accept that I won't (and don't have to be) the best at everything I do. Feel like I've been conditioned to think I have to be the next JK Rowling or Ace of Cakes, that I can't just have a hobby and enjoy it, I have to take it to the max or it's a waste of time. I can't just be good. Good isn't good enough. My mother was never satisfied with my grades and shamed me for anything less than perfection and now I'm adult with anxiety who can't bear the thought of failure or anything less than perfection and I literally just stood in my kitchen trying not to cry because my tea isn't going to be the best tea ever made. Fuck you, Mom. Fuck your high standards. That's what's making me sad. I'll never be the best and idk why it bothers me sooo much or why I even care but I can't not care. It gets to me. I am so extremely unsatisfied with my life right now
I thought I was getting better then everything went down hill and now it's the worst it's ever been
That I don't feel in the mental place that I want to be in terms of feeling like I have it together and that I'm successfully managing/balancing everything in life. I wish I felt more confident about that aspect of my life.
I'm broke af. 😭
@superbatgirl same :-( hopefully we both can find jobs soon.
Not being able to spend as much time with kids and grandkids as I would like due to my disorders.
l back home tired , l have been sick recently &l had a big argument with my family today .l feel sad what if l say something hurt them maybe.l am crying cuz of lam so tired &l can't bear anything easily .
...that the suicide of my mother could have been prevented if she would have had better support. I knew she had been at a very dark place over the years, but I didn't know how to help her in a better way to prevent the terrible ending. Years later I still cannot go anywhere near the place where she took her life. The pain from this never goes away and nothing positive whatsoever can be said about it.
@Faure if you volunteered for a suicide hotline you could help give others support and help prevent their suicides. You can't go back and change the past but you could change the future and make sure nobody ends up in the same situation as your mother. It would maybe help you get some closure on her death. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Give yourself time to heal.
@Scor3030
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
You are spot on: one has to focus on the future and indeed I would probably find helping others with suicidal tendencies very rewarding as I would be very understanding of where they are coming from. Unfortunately also the brother of my mother took his own life 2 years ago ( due to ill health, old age and losing his wife he had been very happily married to for 46 years ).
These events have a tendency to leave you alone for some time but then come back and haunt you. But I will take your words as good advice. Thank you again.
@Faure I am so sorry that you feel that way. But, I think it is important that you should not blame yourself. It is easy to blame ourselves sometimes but it really does us nothing other than feel like crap. Your mother's death is a tragedy. I may not know what it really feels like but you have to come in terms with it. I am sure she wouldn't want you to worry about her. I know it seems easy said than done but you have to remember her in her good terms so that you will remember her that she did live in this world and had some wonderul memories with you.
@Lalaland13
Thank you for your kind words. By now I do not blame myself too much any longer, as I could not have it prevented.
The memories regarding my mother though are a tricky thing. From when I was 12 years old I witnessed half a dozen suicide attempts over 8 years, several lengthy hospitalisations, and then at the end of the road the final outcome. So these memories override many positive aspects, you could say it was traumatic, as our family and my whole upbringing were on the edge. It made me tougher in some ways, less feeling, but as mentioned before one cannot escape one's history, and in times of crisis these things come back. And it doesn't make things easier that my mother was one of the most over sensitive and loving persons one could imagine. That made the whole thing more painful. Thanks again for responding.
@Faure I'm really sorry for your loss and what you're going through. I've learn that the only way to deal with the death of someone you love is to give yourself time to come to terms with it and then focus on the future rather than everything that could have prevented it from happening. I hope you find peace and closure, one day. Take care. xx
@Healer361
Thank you for your kind words, you are right. One needs to move on, its just difficult at times, but I'll do my best. I did not think about it for years, but intime of crisis these events have a tendency to come back, that's why I am struggling a bit. And I have hardly anybody I can talk about it, that's why I am here.
today i saw 3 fucking couples everytime go out always see couples can never get a break feel very sad by it never be me people say that is part of life to see that it is true but i already know that wish people would stop saying things like that makes no better very distressed wont be me
@placidCity1574
I know how you feel it truly does suck
