Social Anxiety can be harder than most people think - Getting help.
Hey guys :D I was doing some thinking and after seeing just how many people on here have some form of social anxiety it'd be nice to discuss something.
What is the hardest things about seeking out help for your social anxiety?
What I think when I ponder this question is the fact that although there will be so many places you can go to for help, and different things that can be done; there usually always is one big problem - most of it puts you in a social situation to do so. Think about it, if you have problems with being scared of spiders you wouldn't go ask a spider for help, you'd be too scared to try that, so why is it for most help with social anxiety we have to go and talk to people about it? D: It seems to be a big dilemma as you have to go through a lot of hardship and face your social anxiety and take it head on to be able to even try to get help most of the time, this just makes it way too hard to get help most of the time in my opinion, I'd be glad to hear everyone else's opinion on this :D
I take drugs to stay numb.. I know it's a cowards way out of dealing with your issues.. But I can't stop. I cry myself to sleep when I'm not numb.. I stress until my blood pressure is in the stroke range with out them.. i want to be normal so bad.. I want to be able to smile to my kids and know it's genuine.. I want to function like everyone else.. But if I'm not numb I feel like a worthless piece of trash that can't do anything right. I can't talk to a therapist, I've tired and all I do is cry.. How can I get help when I can't even talk without sobbing?
@Kit8583
Crying is part of the process though. It releases everything. A good therapist is going to let you cry (and maybe even offer you tissues) . If they do otherwise , they're not worth it. Crying is human and healthy and nothing to be ashamed of.
@Kit8583 cry. don't avoid crying. let it out. just like you poured your pain out to us, pour it out to a therapist too.
@Kit8583 Well people on 7cups are always here for you <3 and if you talk to a listener you shouldn't be judged for what you do :o maybe try to take baby steps if you feel like you want to get your support, start of with someone on here and work your way up to a therapist maybe? :D hope you can get the support you deserve <3
@Kit8583
I have finally decided to go to therapy and see what will happen. I have talked to the therapist prior to and told them that if I just bring up the past that I start to cry and feel like a worthless peice of trash. I need a way for the therapist to try to help me through without going to deep in the past. I decided the past makes me react to the present in a certain way, I know that everyone knows that. How do i stop reacting that way is the issue. The past is the past and i need to let it go and learn coping and dealing skills. I decided to keep a journal that I start writing at the point I feel emotionally drained. I journal about my thought from the time I wake up until I am emotionally drained. Which right now is about 3.5 hours. I then will give this to my therapist the day before our session so he can read it and pick out topics on how I can cope or deal with situations. I know I needed to take control of my therapy becasue all of the other times I tried it was the same BS of me retelling the past and crying for 45 minutes of the hour session. This way we can get right to it and I dont need to cry and try and work through it. I wonder if therapy is the answer to everything becasue I oftern wonder if someone who is not going through the issue can really help or just feeds me full of clinical BS. I have been looking for some other outlet like 7 Cups trying to have conversations with people going through it. Most of the people on here are great ande have been through the issues. for someone like me that has no friends and question how strong my family support group is this is a good place. The issue I have is that the listeners for all of their greatness also have lives and I am getting tired of repeating myself to different people. Anyway this is me long winded in trying to tell you that I spent 16 years being numb in a terrible marriage and when I tried to come out of the numbness and be happy it was so much worse than the numbness, but I am not going back to being numb and I know you are strong enough to let go of the numbness and gibe the world a great big real smile to show it you are alive and well. Have a great day
When trying to reach out for help one of the biggest problems (aside from having to make phone calls) is how emotional I become when trying to talk about my real problems. I hate crying in public, it scares the h*** out of me but it cannot be helped. I can't talk about any it without remembering the opportunities getting wasted just because of fear to talk to people. My family, for example, knows that despite my flaws I'm an intelligent, clever, nice person so they don't seem to see why I'd have such negative future expectations. They have gone through much worse things in life than me, and they have better coping skills: talk to each other, confide in each other or their friends, tackle problems with humor, and don't break out into incoherent sobbing in the process, and if they do, it's nothing they're too ashamed of. My hysteria on the other hand makes them really uncomfortable. So I've developed mechanisms to not talk about it. With great success, it seems I've hidden the level of my despair from my family and my social problems even from my therapist. (It won't turn off.)
@Soleena awww darling that is a lot on your plate :c I can only imagine what you'd be going through D: but make sure that when you feel like you can and it's time you do reach out <3 hiding things jsut let's it all fester, no matter what happens though you can always be an amazing person <3
I think I just do not want to bother anyone at this point.
To be exact, I can do what I have to do for work on a daily basis. Still kind of a struggle, but I get it done, otherwise tho, I find it hard to interact with anyone and just talk about anything. Casually, officailly no matter what, but after like 10+ years of trying and failing, I guess I am just like this, and as it is I do not want to waste anyone's time.
@redmark Whatever works best for you :o do what you think is the best at all times ^-^ but I'd highly suggest if you can get it and feel it's right to go for support ^-^ <3
@KeananWillListen *hugs*
I am like this, for a long time now, and trust me, I did try a lot of things, but I am still here, so this is just how I am and how I will be, soI see no point of wasting anyones time, like I will get back to the same point after a while, I know it....I knot what this will not go away.
But I have learned to deal with it, like keeping social interactions at the minimum - only what I need -, always having headphones with music with me when I have to get to crowded places and stuff like that and I can deal with it. And my life is okay right now, I mean I have got it "on track".
I mean my social life is kind of non-existing at this point, but whatever....
Also, I've got this place. I mean, I do not come here with my anxeity or anything, because I still get very nervous very fast when I get into the focus of any conversation even here or I supposed to talk about myself, but after like half of a year hear I start to feel somewhat comfortable here, and I can just talk with people, about random topics - kind of -, and sometimes help out people in group chats if I can...so I guess I got this going on for myself.
@redmark well that's amazing your'e getting better :D I'm glad 7cups has been good enough to you that you feel comfortable here ^-^ <3
@redmark This is how I feel everyday. I never try to talk to others because I'm scared if they don't want to talk to me. I feel like I'm just wasting their time
To overcome social anxiety I started making friends but in that process, I feel I lost myself.. In a conversation I always be on both sides not telling what I'm having in mind
@adventurousField5264 thatm ust be hard with stuff festering in your head :o I hope you'll be able to get over this <3
I find it's hard when people ask for proof of it. They always say "You're just being antisocial." Or "You're just nervous." And when I tell them about my anxiety, the first thing they say is "prove it."
@AzureAlluvial yup that's miseducation at it's finest such a horrible thing ignorance is, maybe try to educate them using online resources and factual study they can't argue with? :/ Whatever happens just know that what the ysay doesn't define you <3
@AzureAlluvial
"Prove it"? How would we even do that? Mind reading? Lie detector?
Fear of being ridiculed
@daddysps3 yup that's so bad but maybe if you find some people you can really trsut you can go for it then :D wish you the best of luck <3
I guess one of the hardest things would be the actual act of reaching out. I raised my brother from a young age and i was kicked out of my house at 16. With that type of childhood in mind, ive always operated under the belief that being independent is the most important thing you can do for yourself. I pride myself on not needing anyone or accepting help from others. Obviously this is a toxic way to live. It took me YEARS of depression and anxiety to figure this out. So when I need to reach out, its like I have to battle out this apocalyptic war inside myself to ask someone for help. Many people think i do this out of pride but its done out of shame. I dont want to burden others. I dont want to seem weak. Im not worthy of anyones help. If i talk to someone, they will think im crazy. The list goes on and on. So then, I usually just come full circle amd dont ask anyone for help and suffer alone.
Super healthy, right.
@mnkf43 I know exactly what you mean D: it's a horrible thing you may have to go through time in and out inside yourself to do the simplest thing to ask for help, but I feel it's worth it when it actually comes about :D I hope you'll learn to be better at this <3
@mnkf43
Oh, I've been in a similar place too :( But you understand that it's not good for you, that's quite a good start for change for better
That there is no real help. The prevailing attitude in society is talk therapy and medication, and otherwise you're not trying hard enough. But SA is eternal and debilitating, and due to the lack of education out there people like me can slip through the cracks and then be forced to try to fix what everyone else missed in childhood. It's impossible. And if you can't work, or be around people in a meaningful capacity, or anything else, how can you get better?
@poisontongue Well there always is help that's more than just talk therapy and medication you just might have to go and seek it :D and anyway there is always coping mechanism that aren't there to prevent but help you get over things even if only temporary, if there is miseducation, then educate them :D that's the only way things go around the work, you can't complain someone doesn't know when they haven't had the chance to be told :p I hope you'll find something that works for you <3
@KeananWillListen The professionals at least ought to have some idea... none of them did, and as a result it became ingrained in me and now... who knows. My life is always going to be limited, and there's nothing that I've found that does me any good. Besides, my situation stays the same anyway, and I can't deal with this world or the people around me.
@poisontongue Like, I need things that are going to promote big changes in my life, but instead, all there seems to be are attempts at surviving one more day, which isn't particularly fun or worth it. It always boils down to the things I'm already doing, or things that have no real scope now that I'm at this stage of life, this old and desperate. I always get the deep, dark feeling that it's all about accepting my lot in life, which... is depressing, and makes me disappointed in myself.
@poisontongue awww *hugs* that sucks :c I hope you can find somesort of thing soon <3
1 is actually being able to come forward and ask for help. 2 is not being taken seriously and being told that I'm just shy or introverted. 3 is realising that most people do not understand what it means to have social anxiety and therefore won't be able to help you. 4 is accepting the fact that I will probably have to live with this for the rest of my life.
@Packita yup every single one of those are valid point, but aww darling *hugs* I hope you really can get the support you deseve sometime soon <3
@KeananWillListen thank you ☺
@Packita no problem ^-^ <3
I have severe anxiety, nervous tic, panic disorder, ocd, and depression. As well as social anxiety. It's so hard to deal with on a daily basis.
@Bri102613 yup that's soundsl iek al ot on your plate :o there are loads of resources and places out there that can help you <3 and always feel free to keep using 7cups we are always here for you :D <3
I understand. I just ran out of a classroom due to extreme anxiety. You're not alone, as much as it feels like you are @Bri102613
