Forgiveness & Self-Esteem
Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself -Maya Angelou
Forgiveness is often defined as a deliberate decision to release feelings of anger, resentment, and retribution to someone who may have harmed you. While it can be very difficult to forgive someone else, it can be even more challenging to forgive yourself. However, self-forgiveness can be extremely beneficial in healing and can feel extremely freeing.
Steps one can take to achieve self-forgiveness:
♡ Accept your situation. It can be helpful to accept who you are and where you are at this moment. Accept life as it is, not how it should be. ♡
♡ Understand what happened and why you are here. What caused you to make the choice(s) you did? What were you trying to meet, given the frame of reference you had at that time? Understanding your frame of reference can make it clear that you were simply doing your best you knew how to do at that time. ♡
♡ Learn from your experience. How did your experience shape you into the person you are today? What wisdom did you learn? You might not be able to go back and change the past, but now you have the opportunity to learn and grow for the future. ♡
♡ Forgive your past self. By saying I forgive you to yourself, you can begin to heal. ♡
Now finish these statements:
♡ Today I will forgive myself for ___
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel ___
♡ I deserve forgiveness because ___
Thank you so much for participating today in day twelve of our self-esteem challenge. Feel free to check out the other self-esteem posts here. We hope that our forum discussion and exercise have been a positive experience, and you are leaving feeling freer and relaxed. Have a lovely day! 
Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202007/healing-shame-5-steps-self-forgiveness https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202006/healing-guilt-7-steps-self-forgiveness
@Tazzie
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for being a bit cranky when my toddler doesnt want to nap
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel ready to move forward with positity
♡ I deserve forgiveness because nobody is perfect! just have to keep trying your best!
@charmingSunrise7168
Hi! It makes sense to feel cranky when your toddler doesn't want to nap, while I have never experienced it, I can imagine. I'm so glad to hear that you have forgiven yourself and are ready to move forward! Yes exactly! No one is perfect, and trying your nest is all anyone can ask for. Thank you so much for participating! Have an awesome day ♡
- Today I will forgive myself for not being as productive as I hoped to be
- Now that I have forgiven myself I feel more peaceful
- I deserve forgiveness because no one can be always on top and we all deserve breaks
@Aayla
Hi Ayala! It can be difficult being productive, and I can relate to the bad feelings when we aren't as productive as we hoped. I'm so glad to hear that now that you have forgiven yourself, you are feeling more peaceful. I totally agree, we all deserve breaks. Thank you so much for sharing! Have a fabulous day! ♡
♡ Today I will forgive myself for issues in my relationship with my parents.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel a bit better, I know it's not my fault so I feel better now
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I'm only human. We all make mistakes and we can learn to forgive that, we can learn from them.
Hello! I'm sorry to hear that you have some issues with your relationship with your parents, that is something I can very much relate to. I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better after forgiving yourself! Yesss, 110 percent agreed! We are all human, and we all make mistakes, and they give us an opportunity to learn. Thank you so much for sharing! Have an awesome day! ♡
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for staying quiet for so long
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel a little lighter I guess
♡ I deserve forgiveness because everyone makes mistakes and I don't deserve to carry around this weight
@mikayla7
Hi Mikayla! Staying quiet for so long sounds like it would be super hard. There are sometimes things that cause us to stay quiet, yet it can still be difficult to accept. I'm so glad that after forgiving yourself you feel lighter. Agreed, everyone makes mistakes, and you, or anyone else do not deserve to carry around all the weight. Thank you so much for joining, I hope this post has left you feeling more free. Have a lovely day! ♡
I forgive myself - for not handling things as good as I should have
Now that I have - I feel gentler towards myself
I deserve forgiveness because - it was a difficult situation and it was handled to the best of our abilities
@mytwistedsoul
Hey hey! It can be difficult to know how to handle things at times. I'm so glad that after forgiving yourself you feel more gentle towards yourself. It does sound like a difficult situation. Thank you so much for sharing with us! I hope you are able to continue to forgive yourself, and be gentle and kind toward your wonderful self. Have a lovely day ♡
♡ Today I will forgive myself for not being able to draw accordingly.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel stronger and complete.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I am human and I need time to progress.
@peachybby0
Hello! I can relate to the feelings of not being able to do something accordingly. I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling stronger and complete after forgiving yourself. I love what you said at the end about being human and needing time to progress! Thank you so much for sharing, have a fantastic day! ♡
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for always regretting not having friends.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel good and peaceful. 😌
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I will never know why i don't have friends and it's okay to not know all the answers. Life has been great with or without friends. Regretting won't bring friends in my life anyways. Focusing on the present situation will bring peace of mind.
@dtanushree
Hi! It is wonderful to hear that you are feeling good and peaceful after forgiving yourself! I really admire your mindset, and agree with what you said about how it's okay to not know all the answers, and focusing on the present. I am glad that life has been great! Thank you for sharing, have an awesome day! ♡
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for not completing my task list
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel okay
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I am resilient and I will tick it off on another day
@DonaldDraper
Hey hey! I'm glad to hear that you feel okay after forgiving yourself for not completing your task list. I can understand how not finishing it might lead to some bad feelings, and I love your determination and resilience. Wishing you the best with the list and everything else! Thank you for sharing, have a nice day! ♡
♡ Today I will forgive myself for not being perfect
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel that I can continue trying my best with less stress.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I'm a human! We make mistakes and are worthy anyways.
@24Help1
Hi Mary! I can relate to the thoughts and struggles of having to be perfect, and how it feels when it's not possible. I'm glad to hear that you feel you can continue to try your best (which is all anyone can ever ask for) with less stress. Yes definitely, we are all worthy despite our mistakes! Thanks for sharing! Have a fantabulous day! ♡
@hopedreamlove
Now finish these statements:
♡ Today I will forgive myself for - beating myself for something that I KNOW I can improve on (procrasinating on college essays and I guess life in general. I just don't know what I want to do in life and since I'm a rising senior, the college application process is upon me).
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel - I feel carefree and able to set breaks for myself to just look up into the sky and think about nothing (or is that not thinking at all?! hehe). I see all my friends who aspire to be doctors and instead of jealousy, I'm slowly starting to appreciate their goals to change the world and accepting that I'm a late bloomer and being grateful while going through my extra long journey from transitioning to a teen to an ADULT (God i'm a boomer now). 
♡ I deserve forgiveness because- It's ok to get in a slump. As much as I want to be, I just can't be a perfect robot that can accomplish all these unrealistic goals. I am human and humans are meant to be flawed and I don't see this as something to be angry about, I think it's amazing to see myself making mistakes because it deconstructs the narrative from SOCIETY that I HAVE to be successful to be happy when the progress of learning to forgive myself and grow as a result is SO SO SO much worthwhile.
LOVE FROM HANNAH BANANA *hands out banana creme pies*
@HannahChu777 just because you aren't where you wanna be doesn't mean you had a longer transition from teen to adult. it just means you haven't accomplished your goals as quickly. adulthood has nothing to do with that! it has a lot to do with how you treat people and see the world around you. you sound really kind. good luck!
@HannahChu777
Hi Hannah! Procrastination is something I can strongly relate to. I'm so glad that you are able to feel more carefree now, and being able to accept yourself! I love every single one of your answers, and everything you said about flaws, and growing. Everyone has a different story, and a different timeline. I wish you the best with your transition from being a teen to an adult! Thanks for sharing, and for the banana creme pies! Have an awesome day! ♡