One word to describe how I feel today is....
One word to describe how I feel today is....
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Sad
Darkness
@Laura
Broken :(
Peaceful
wondering (if)
jittery.....
Hyper
(still) wondering (today)
Hopeful- earlier this week said I was cautiously optimistic- as of yesterday can actually say I am happy. Wow what a feeling after months of grief/loss and struggle. REally appreciate new direction after going through the darkness.
@barncat nice to see the optimism we never know what's around the corner for us do we
@originalScenery4691- the truth that we do not know what is in store for us is breathtaking. In today's magnitude of challenges last years problems seem miniscule. I hope to reestablish some semblence of promise for the future.
Please please, nobody take this the wrong way. I believe there is a difference between suicide and decide. Ive nothing left to live for, ive watched it be destroyed. My health is bad and im in pain. Ive traveled, been married, had 4 kids, good jobs, bought a house, so i should just be grateful for the good times instead of bitter for watching it all be stolen away and crumble. Ive been the best guy you ever wanted to meet, and the worst too if you poked at me enough to find my rage. Ive never had a role model but was always aware of my moral compass. Ive been frustrated and stood up to immoralities but watched those evil people conspire just like proverbs said they would, and i was astonished that all those were written: but i read them all after they happened. Brother betrayed brother, wife perfumes her sheet for another: friend betrays friend. Ive watched as theyve spun their lies and have done my level best not to hate; so it became deep dark disapointment which courses through my veins, it feels just as toxic as if it were hate. Ive managed not to hate but i feel insane by this deep pain and my brain is drained, my life turned so lame, ya see truth is so plain, its all i have to my name, as they have no shame in this sad pittiful game. So i think you know what im saying.
@humorousDay8793
I understand very well. I went through several of those things by myself.
@humorousDay8793 I noticed you started out very dark but moved into a lyrical transition that was very insightful, keep going with it I think it will help move some of that pain out