Being disabled and isolated with no social contact
I wonder if there are others out there in a similar situation, being disabled and isolated to the point of never being able to achieve autonomy, whether due to not having a car or not living in a city. Being stuck at home with no friends or social circle is incredibly isolating. If you are experiencing this, would you be willing to share your story? I have never spoken to anyone in the same position.. and navigating this without a support system feels incredibly lonely, thanks a lot! :)
@MattyGoofball On and off,yes.
For quite a while I just didn't have energy to get out, medical appointments took up what energy I had.
My vision has decreased and public transit isn't accessible due to severe allergies. So lately I rely on my husband for rides, walk or take a cab which is pricey. Users are expensive but tgey don't allow a scent free option here and and they usually have an airfreshner plus a driver drenched in something scented. The winter I was definitely more isolated as I broke my wrist and really didn't feel safe walking.
Things are better now, I'm in a walking group and yoga class, both close by. I'm also hoping to get special lenses soon. Allergies and waitlists have made that a long process! Based on tests I'll be allowed to drive again. Once I have them my brain will have to readjust as it's been trying to correct for my vision.
I have done a fair bit of socializing online as it's easy to do from bed, thd couch, etc.
@AffyAvo
I m extremely proud of you for going through all of these things and still being here this strong and amazing. People like you and the person who wrote this post inspire me. You go through so much and you are still trying. I wish you the best, I m proud of you and I believe in you. A big shout out to your husband's help as well✨️🩵
I can't relate fully. I'm lucky to have my independence despite being long term ill, except when I have a fall or a sprain, that halts my mobility.
I'm more comfortable and content indoors. It is difficult to not be the same as everyone else.
Online chats help and developing my interests sustains me now. What are your interests?
The icebreaker/game section gets alsorts of people involved :)
https://www.7cups.com/forum/games/
@ScrabbleBrain thank you for sharing, I wasn't aware of this ! My interests are pretty much anything involved with nature, whimsy / hygge, video games, animals, knowledge, watching movies and shows, baking, cooking at home, discovering new music and such things, what about yours? If you want to share
@MattyGoofball Happy to help, you're quite varied which is good :) I'm just simpler with gaming on my phone, sometimes pop or r&b music, comedies or cop shows.
I'd get takeout more often if I could, not a great cook but I make weird foodie combinations ha :)
@ScrabbleBrain Honestly you sound like such a cool person ahah, I love weird food combo! Sometimes you just end up discovering something very tasty even if it looks meh
@MattyGoofball Thank you, yea every time I mention something new I've created, people are like that is so weird, but sounds delicious haha.
I just get bored of the same thing, that's what it is but you are very fun to talk to also :)
Do you mix sweet and savoury foods or is that a sin for you?
@ScrabbleBrain Ahh, I feel you lol I also do get bored easily of the same thing so it's always nice to discover new combinations! Oh absolutely, love a good mix like that, do you have any top 3 you'd recommend?
@MattyGoofball ooof only 3? You're limiting me ha. Chocolate pretzels, although having them once in a blue moon is nice, not an everyday thing.
Sweet and salty popcorn back yonks ago when I enjoyed it..
Sweet and sour chicken or a sweet chilli sauce, has a nice blend and then at home, I push the envelope and think, would it be odd if I put..... together and yep, it is.. :)
@ScrabbleBrain Yummmy, all of those honestly don't look like they're too odd at all haha, I think I was once in a forum where people posted their "horrendous" mixed foods and it was pretty extreme haha
have you ever tried sweet and cheesy popcorn? apparently some countries have a sugar and cheddar mix, like chicago but a bit different! really poking my curiosity ^^
@MattyGoofball Ok, you win, that's nuts to me ha. I don't recall if I've heard of that but no it doesn't appeal, I feel like at some point cheese got an upgrade and they said Hey, we're putting you on everything including fries and you don't belong but..... Let's see if people will buy you...
I like cheese but where it belongs, with pasta or crackers or toasties ha.
Have you ever tried marmite or vegemite it's called abroad?
@ScrabbleBrain I agree with you! Personally I never got the chance to try the cheese popcorn thing, but the Chicago one ( caramel and sweet and salty I think ) was glorious! Oh yeah, cheese has gone overboard thats for sure ahah, I've tried both Marmite and Vegemite with a strong preference for Vegemite for some reasons? It taste completely different to me, what about you?
@MattyGoofball for popcorn, buttered toffee was my favourite and then the simpler sweet and salty mix, was great.
I don't think I tried vegemite. Marmite was a thing used sparingly, I've never understood people using it like butter, but each to their own ha.
Marmite and cheese toasties gave it an extra dimensional kick, so a yummy addition.
Deep breath, deeply controversial, divides people completely but here goes..
Would you put pineapple and/or olives on a pizza? Yes I dared ask it..... 🧐
@ScrabbleBrain My gosh buttered toffee sounds awesome wow! Marmite as a spread is pretty strong but they make it in the UK mainly I believe as a standalone flavor such as chips , in ready meals, sauces etc.. it's very interesting! The Marmite crisps / chips are divine!
Not ashamed to say it, I adoooore pineapple and also olives on pizza! The combination just works ahah What's your verdict? Where I am from, people also put honey on their pizza. Not hot honey, just regular honey, like a ton of it, which can seem a bit foreign at first!
@MattyGoofball I don't recall any other flavours in the beginning, sweet, salty or toffee ha. Now there are hundreds, certainly boomed.
Wow honey on pizza? Definitely feeling foodily educated, very interesting. Dips seemed far fetched to me, why do you need garlic and herb but dipping it, gave it that an extra layer of deliciousnessness.
I've done pineapple, it's ok, not for me, olives 100% black or green, stuffed/unstuffed, just fabulous.
Ever tried stuffed crust? It's something that appeals and doesn't, I'm not big on too much cheese, sorta ruins it for me
@ScrabbleBrain This made me hungry, not gonna lie ahh this sounds so delicious! I remember eating stuffed crust pizza as a child, such fond memories! If you're a sauce person, there's an infinite combo of them to try on, like so much possibility out there
There's also Korean pizza, which they use mayo and sweet corn, I've heard their food in general is rather on the sweet side? Not for everyone but it seems tempting to try, would you?
@MattyGoofball Another divider, I don't like sweetcorn, used to in small doses and now, can't stand it.
I think I would be up for trying something that appealed in the moment. It's a bit confusing because I have a sweet tooth, but in the beginning, it mostly has to have a savoury flair, unless it's snacks, I want savoury first, so not sure really.
Of course, the exception to the rule, is where I crave pancakes or sugary waffles.... So you never quite know.. ha.
Would you try something that you probably will hate, but have a small chance, actually I'm a convert?
I can't say I'm the most adventurous but take something like cod roe, which the ingredients, questionable.... The taste? Sensational :D
@MattyGoofball
I m sorry you go through something so tough alone. Reaching out here and talking about this though means you acknowledge it and you are ready to change. I cannot give you advice on what to do as I dont fully know your situation but I know you can make it. You are really strong and I m proud of you for reaching out. I believe in you.
I hope you get to achieve the life you want with the right support system and people who care deeply about you. I know that there are many people out there who would be more than willing to help you (in real life). We, here on 7 cups, are here to help you as much as we can. We are here to make you feel seen, heard and loved.
I wish you the best on this tough journey of your life and I know you can make it to the end. Don't let it get to you. You are amazing✨️🩵
@cheerfulKiwi1776 such wonderful cheering words, I am very appreciative of your message thanks! My hope is someday to either be okay with not having a support system, or to eventually find strong connections to call friends and be able to foster a nice relationship with those people! Which is impossible right now, even online when i've been trying to find community online, but only met with further alienation and feeling unseen, which is perhaps worse to me at least than being alone c:
@MattyGoofball
Oh I get it. Take care please. I m wishing you the hest. You've got this
@cheerfulKiwi1776 Thank you so much, i'm trying my best
@MattyGoofball
Teying? Trying is so difficult! Well well well doneeee
@cheerfulKiwi1776 I aprpeciate this a lot, right back at ya!
@MattyGoofball
✨️💚💚
Hello Matty! Yes, I totally understand what you're going through. I self isolate and I know it's not a good thing to do.
I was sick for 2 years before I received help. I was so fatigued and in pain for so long I gave up trying. I have others in my hone but I still felt lonely. It's difficult to stay positive when you feel so bad with no end in site. Invisible diseases are the worst. People don't think there's anything wrong with you. I've learned to love myself and I don't apologize for my turtle pace lol. You are not alone. You have a group of wonderful people here that can empathize with your situation and support you. 🤗🫶💜
@Rhiannon65 Thank your for your message! Definitely not alone, even if it can feel like it sometimes.. do you have any hobbies you like to do?
I try to be creative by journaling and I love to color. Coloring got me through many overthinking nights! I do garden and I like to read to learn when my brain allows it!😂 How about you?
@Rhiannon65 that sounds super nice to be honest ahah, like you I love to read when my brain allows it which isn't often, I enjoy being in nature and watching wholesome videos online or finding new shows to binge! Oh, baking and cooking as well when I can
@MattyGoofball
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. As someone who’s been socially isolated I know how difficult that is.
I’ve been socially isolated for over 30 years. But I’m still going without giving up on myself.
You can do it too as difficult as it is! Sending you support and hugs and friendship.
@akunknown Sending you hugs and support your way as well! I am sorry you are going through this too, how are you coping? I'd like to hear your story if you want, in private messages :)
@MattyGoofball
Hello, I truely understand your current state.I am a software engineer with over 10 years of experience.
I am looking for collaborators now. If you want to collaborate with me, I can also help you live with confidence and happiness.
I want to help you. Just contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards.
@raspberrySpruce5020 Hey, not sure what you mean for collaboration, but I am going to message you for more informations
@MattyGoofball I have a little more freedom than you're describing, but not much. I can't drive due to my disabilities, I can't live alone due to my disabilities, I'm reliant on mobility aids and a ton of pills and injections - the only things I can do is take the train twenty minutes from my house up to my college (another hour) while texting regular updates to my family. I live in the suburbs with nothing nearby, I take the train up to see my best friend, but most of my life is online. You're definitely not alone, and it really does feel claustrophobic and exhausting to be so limited from your disabilities.
@pigeonman816 I hear you and am so sorry that you're also this isolated! It really does feel this way, you're putting the right words for it, ooof. Do you have any help or support from your college? If you ever want to share more please feel free to message me
@MattyGoofball I am in this situation now. I lost my apartment dat I had for 34 years. My partner passed in 2020 but I am from NYC so getting around was easy however once I lost my apartment I started bouncing place to place and at the moment wit my daughter and transportation is not good I have no social contacts not even my daughter will Chat to me she reminds me constantly she doesnt Want me here. Its pretty much making me bitter. I need get back to the city where I not only be able to travel to and from places but it will allow me to return to taking care of my medical needs. I have several health issues thats critical but have been getting ignored due to not being able to get around. I often crash in the house in the room alone.
@eternalHero77 THis seems like such a difficult situation and am so sorry that you're living that :( My condolences for your partner who passed. This must not be easy every day, and yet here you are, sharing parts of your story, so thank you for that!
@MattyGoofball I try to keep in mind the tools I learned when I was in my day treatment program years ago and it does help. I just need a place and most importantly to be able to get my medication for my seizures and asthma. I have other health issues as well but these 2 are the most concerning for me and the longer I am without meds the more at risk I am of somethin’ happening. For now all I can do is pray and use my tools learned so many years ago.
@eternalHero77 I understand in a way.. and I truly does hope that you will be able to have what you need asap, I will keep you in my prayers
@MattyGoofball I deeply appreciate it.
@MattyGoofball
Yes, I'm effectively bedbound with my health conditions (severe ME/CFS, POTS, migraines). I started to get sick at 15 and am now almost 19 and have not got a drivers license or independence or many of the milestones that people I went to school with have, can't study and had to drop out in early 11th grade, and am lucky to have a lot of support from my mum but am otherwise very isolated too. Sending hugs 🫂🫂 Online interaction like in group chats on here is something though :) 💕
@tearstruck My god, this must not be easy at all Im so sorry, do you have anything that helps you support your conditions? Like, little or " silly " things that matter a lot for you? Your mother sounds like a gem, it's so amazing that you have her! You're right.. groups chats can be helpful! Sending love and hugs your way
@MattyGoofball
Thank you! I have a tortoiseshell cat, she's adorable :)
What about you?
@tearstruck Awww, I bet she is the cutest! I do also have a cat, animals are healing and wonderful beings
Hello, I'm also disabled and live in a very rural area. I used to drive but that's gotten less and less over the last few years. Something I do from home is I attend zoom meetings in a couple different groups. It gives me some socializing from the comfort of my home. If you'd like to chat more, please feel free to reach out to me.
@Danyell Hi it's nice to meet you! I'm sorry to also learn that you live rural and that driving is now a challenging thing for you :s Oh that sounds interesting, is there like a main theme or interest for the group or you just talk about anything in those? I'd be very happy to message you :)
Hi there, do you recommend any good zoom meetings? I'm completely isolated and a prisoner in my home.