Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
I'm feeling really bad. I ate more than I intended at my only meal of the day and I feel really anxious about it. How do I stop feeling anxious about the food that is in me?
@peachdork - I wish there was an easy way to fix those feelings, but there's not. What it takes is slow but steady progress. What helped me most was trying to focus away from making a 100% change and feeling perfect about it immediately, and instead looking for small steps I could take each day to move in the right direction. What's one thing you can do today?
@Anomalia That is really good advice. I am reading a book right now about how taking really small steps helps when you are afraid, because the fear is in a different part of your brain (a whole different brain actually) than the rational part that knows, for example, you need/want to recover, so it's not a rational fear and you don't need to listen to it, because as humans our brains are wired to be afraid of absolutely anything that is a change or different or uncertain... and a solid way to sort of bypass the fear "thank you fear for doing your job and being afraid of absolutely everything that is new and different" is to take really super duper small steps in the direction you want to go, because those build up habits in your brain where your brain gets comfortable with that direction.
Hi ...
I feel like I want to just sit here and cry. It is technically nearly lunch time, I have not yet had breakfast. This is not cool; not at all cool.
There is so much more, but I don't know how to write it here, so .... the end.
~Platy
I feel fat. I've gained back weight since starving myself and I HATE it. I want to go back to starving and I plan to ASAP.
@Deathandallhisfriends - I know how hard it is to see the weight come back on when you worked to lose it, but I also know that along with the weight, recovery brings a lot of really amazing things. What are some things that you would get out of recovery, if you let yourself keep at a healthy weight?
Broken & alone
@miamoo22 - I'm sorry to hear that, but you're not alone. There are so many people struggling with the same things, and so many others who have come through to the other side. And if you ever need someone to talk to about how you're feeling I (and loads of other listeners) am here for you.
Feeling like I just want to get rid of all the food I consume
@SophieParkinson - I've had that same feeling, but also learned over time that getting rid of it doesn't give me any sort of better feeling longer term. It can feel good in the moment, but later leaves me feeling worse about myself and my situation.
@SophieParkinson
We all have this sensation sometimes.:( o am sorry you feel this way. I wish you the best,:)
I've made it to five months. I'm proud but litlle by little I will eat. I haven't binged nor purged but I only eat once a day and constantly workout 6 maybe 5 out of 7 days. Lately I've been thinking about relapsing with everything going on my life feeling so unsure about who I am as a person.
@decembernight0608 - You've made an enormous amount of progress, and I'm incredibly proud of you! That's not to say there isn't more progress to be made, and I can tell that you see that, too, and know that the next step is starting to eat more, little by little, but all the progress you've made counts for so much.
When you're feeling that urge to relapse, what helps you not to, to stay on track with recovery instead?
@Anomalia
Thank you. I've been nothing but proud of my progress but know I could do more. Usualy when I feel the urge I write alot and sometimes I smoke to get myself numb of the thoughts of purging and other things that trigger it. I'm dependent on it and I wish that I wasn't.
I've been trying to find alternate ways to keep myself busy it just seems to be harder. I actually have more days that I feel confident in my body. I'm a thick girl and I've become proud of that but still have those trouble areas I wish to just demolish from my body.
@decembernight0608 - I hear you. It was a long battle to get to the point where I can appreciate my own thicker body, but I am thrilled to hear that you're having more moments of confidence in it, even if there are still times you aren't feeling it.One thing that helped me was to find a couple parts of me that I really loved and figure out ways to emphasize those more (yes, also recognizing that beauty is skin deep, and all that, but sometimes it does help to be able to feel that outer beauty, too!). I also have recently fallen in love with some more vintagy looks that often look better with curves (e.g., finding some high waisted bikinis that look oh so fifties cute, but also make me feel more comfortable with my stomach covered).
As for some of the rest, I agree that it's probably good to find ways to become less dependant on smoking / find more other coping mechanisms, but just remember to be gentle and forgiving with yourself. Working towards that is great, but it doesn't ever have to be immediate change. Just progress! :)
@decembernight0608 Congratulations!!!!! Way to go I know you can keep doing it!
I dont feel today because i feel like i am relasping and going back into my bad habits again
@Pawy27 Relasping can be scary. But you are strong and you are on the road to recovery! You may have set backs along the way but you will make it!
I hope you're doing better today! And remember that we're always here for you ❤
I feel like I can't stop anymore. I feel triggered by everything. I feel like I'm drowning yet enjoying these old feelings again. I can't believe that I'm falling again into the same patterns. I'm unbelievable.
@Redheadbaker7206 - You've battled out before, you can again. I know it's disheartening to find yourself back in old patterns, but sometimes it takes a few tries before recovery actually sticks. You can do this, and I would love to support you through it if you want. Feel free to message me anytime.
@Anomalia. That's very kind of you. I know you're super busy. Lol I see you're pretty much everywhere. : ) Even though I would like to contact you, I would hate to bother you. I hate being that annoyance when you already seem so busy.
I have been having a hard time eating, Im 13 years old and weigh [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics / triggers] pounds and they say i am underweight... they said i have to start eating and they are going to minitor my eating as well... i have gone almost 2 weeks without eating... i tried a slice of pizza yesterday and it make my tummy hurt real bad, so i make myself throw up!!!!
@Payton2003 - Sweetheart, if the doctors are saying you're underweight, it's something you need to listen to. Not eating for long periods of time can cause incredible damage to your body and I promise that it isn't worth it, even when it seems like it might be. What would happen if you listened to the doctors and started working towards health again?
As for the pain from eating, that's natural at the beginning. When your body isn't used to getting food, it struggles when you start reintroducing it. But that pain goes away once you're eating more regularly. It's temporary, but the damage an eating disorder can do might not be.
Please be safe and take care of yourself.
@Anomalia
Im trying, it so hard. I have been through so much, and now i been strggleing with eating, self harm and im serverly depressed...a couple months ago my bestfriend killed herself, and then my parents sending me away... im just feel like im at rock bottom. And im starting to give up on everything... I just wish me and my friend went together...
@Payton2003 - I am so sorry that you have had to deal with so much, and especially so close together. I can't imagine how hard it was to lose your friend like that or how much it hurts to have to leave your parents. But I also know that even though this pain feels unbearable that you are strong and that you can get through this and find happiness again. And that while things like not eating or harming yourself can feel like they help deal with it all in the short term, long term they only make things harder and harder to break away from. I believe you can break away from this, and I'd love to support you.
Hi! I'm new to the Eating Disorders support forum. Today I'm feeling MOTIVATED and SCARED, and am going to be coming here for support, can't wait!!!!
@singercrystalspirit - Very glad to have you here! Motivated and scared are definitely feelings I can relate to, especially from early in recovery. But cling to that motivation, and the fear will fade. You've got this!
@singercrystalspirit
i am also new here. I have already had my daily binge for the day and it's only 11:40 am. I feel miserable, fat, ugly and just a mess.everyday I tell myself I won't do this but I end up doing it anyways almost become involuntary I want to get out of this cycle but I'm struggling
@Hly
@Anomalia .... maybe this will be easier to find now .... Platy
@Hly It is hard and you can do it! I believe in you!
@Hly - Hi there, lovely! I know it feels really hopeless at times and like it's a cycle you just can't break, but you've actually already taken two really important steps. First, you decided you want to break it. That might not sound like a big thing, but it really is. Second, you opened up here and reach out for support. That's huge! There are still a lot more steps on the path to recovery, but you've taken two huge leaps already, and those will help push you further along. And there are loads of people who would love to support you, myself very much included. Please feel free to message me if you would like to talk - I can relate to a lot of what you said and would love to help. Take care!
@Anomalia
@Anomalia
thank you to both yourself and crystal for your kind words!! It is so nice to hear some reassuring words and not just the usual "it's simple just stop eating".
i am trying to take things one day at a time but I can't seem to make even one day and it feels horrible. I made it to 3 pm (Australian here) before pigging out on as much food as I could lay my hands on. Now i just feel sick bloated and upset. The worse thing about my behaviour is I will literally binge on everything not just sweets or potato chips I'm ashamed to say in the past I've binged on an entire jar of peanut butter, an entire jar of jam, an entire jar of Nutella and an entire jar of Vegemite ( a jar a day) just because I had nothing else I could binge on :( hopefully tomorrow will be a new day for me...trying to fill my day with things other then eating is hard because unfortunately I am out of work for the momsbt, I have recently moved to a new town and don't know anyone plus my bf is at work all day till 6 so I really don't have much to do or anyone to chat to. Excuse the pity novel I just wanted to get it all off my chest