Abuse question?

@yellowCamp7895

Hey Camp,

I'm sure that others will join in with their experiences but in regards to your question, " Would you want your mother to leave or stay?" I think it's safe to say that it's natural to want people to be in healthy and safe situations, and free of abuse. Unfortunately, we can't make those decisions for other people. They have to choose for themselves if they stay or if they leave. I think the best thing that we can do for them is to be supportive of what they decide for their life. This can be tough to do if we don't agree with their choice.

I hope this helped with your question.

~ Sher

Hey, I’m glad you reached out!

I was never in a household like this, however, if my father was abusing of my mother, I would want her to leave, it’s only natural.

I saw my parents fight a lot and I saw my mother cry a couple of times because he was cheating. I was very young and I didn’t have words to describe what was going on or even know one could leave or stay in such situations but I knew everything was not okay. As an adult, I would have wanted her to leave but I’ve also come to realize that people can only make these decision themselves and sadly, your opinion as their child might be irrelevant. She left though but way later and unfortunately, she left herself and the ability to grow and flourish as a person in the marriage. She left with nothing and has still not improved but she doesn’t seem to see anything wrong. While we’ll want them to leave, we need to hope they leave and are willing to do better as women and mothers.

I grew up in a family like this and it was horrible. I have always wanted my mother to leave. She stayed because of religious reasons… I don’t think anyone should stay especially when kids are witnessing it.

No one should be able to witness or experience abuse of any sort. I dont know If this answers your question, but for sure, your Mother deserves to feel safe and in a healthy environment, even If the one leaving is not her. Be sure to take care of yourself as well, tho. Do not compromise your wellbeing. Its ok to take care and help others, but do not put yourself last. Talking from personal experience. We all have our own stories tho, not comparing. We all have a choice. Take care. Bless u.

@yellowCamp7895 My father abused my mother and im still conflicted on what I want. She deserved better but at the same time I didnt find it fair that she could just walk out while we were stuck with him. But then again if she could get out it could be possible for us to get out as well.

@yellowCamp7895

I was in a home where my Mom was abusive to my Dad, but more socially than physically. My parents broke up. When I was a little girl I remember my life being better without my Mom in the house. When I was still a kid but older my parents divorced and I went to live with my Mom. I didn't like it. My Mom barely cared for me. I always wished I lived with my Dad.

Of course I wanted to be with the better parent but I ended up with the less caring parent. I still have problems with my Mom to this day.

For me my parents not being together didn't make my life safer or easier. My Dad was probably miserable without me.



@yellowCamp7895

Hai.,

I was never been in such an environment. But I have heard about such people in my neighborhood. So in my opinion, it's better to leave. I am a person who is having the view that each individual needs respect. We should follow the give and take policy. If we are not getting anything for our worth and if the other person always abuses us, then if we are not getting out of it. Then one day we will feel bad about ourselves. But here we need to understand another thing, it is your mother who needs to take the decision. Some people are fine with these kinds of relationships because of their moral values. So what you can do at this moment is to talk to her about this and if she feels to stay/ leave then support her, care for her, and love her.

@yellowCamp7895. I always wanted her to leave and take us kids with her. She never left for very long if she did.

@yellowCamp7895

hopefully I can post on the forum as it’s not letting me.

If your mother can go (she has to decide by herself) there may be a telephone line available for safe houses. Ie domestic violence line. Tell them you are not safe. Get passports/ cards and go on car. Do this when father is not home.

You are going from that crazy world into calm - it will be a different world. You will have known abuse yourself and not much lived to calm world.

There may be not much you can do if she is not ready - if she is go now.